Boyfriend is Depressed

[Tracey123]

My boyfriend is extremely depressed and has been since January. He has money troubles and can';t seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel and has lost his enthusiasm for life, it seems..........flatter than 'you know what' on a plate. I am trying not to be selfish but it is really affecting our relationship. I have seen him once in the last 2 weeks because he is sooooo flat and although I try to be positive, I think he sees me as being flippant. I have feelings of suspician and wonder if there is someone else even though he is always home and I feel lonely and left out of the loop. He isn't any fun to hang out with anymore and I am finding that my energy is drained because I am trying to pump him up.

I love this man. No doubt about it. But he is like an energy hole right now and I just want my 'ol guy back. We have had relationship problems which led to our break-up in January but now, we are back together. He approaced me and told me he wants to work it out but nothing can even be discussed with his low mood. Every thing is a negative for him. I don't know what to do. I want to get back on track, but I don't feel that he is in the right space and I just feel us drifting further and further apart. I wish I had a fix for him other than the suffestion of anti-depressants but he would never even consider that. Any thoughts or suggestions?

[Velveteel]

It's very hard to be romantically involved with a seriously depressed person, especially if he won't consider treatment of any kind. When you talk about the relationship, does he acknowledge that the two of you aren't having fun together, etc.? If you're being as solid a support for him as you can, the next step would be to tell him that you need to know that he values the relationship, and seeking some kind of treatment--seeing a doctor or therapist--would demonstrate that to you. Depression is okay; stubborn selfishness is not. (Of course that's not a good line to use with a depressed person--that's just me to you.)

 

I hope you get through this okay. I know it firsthand, and it's very difficult.

[rastafari]

stick with him. if you truly love the man then you would never leave him. i was seriously depressed when i went to school with my girlfriend. it wasnt about her, it was due to a lot of stress and not being able to do the things i enjoy because of the work load. this situatuion sounds very similar to mine. my ex was very paranoid about me being with other women, even though i wasnt. i think it was because i wasnt acting the same that i once was due to the depression, she thought i didnt like her anymore. she said that we were to dependent on eachother and didnt love eachother anymore...i was just in a bad place and didnt relize it at the time. i took a lot of energy out of her too, but she gave up on me and it made my depression even worse in which i almost eneded up in the hospital. dont do it to him, he will fall apart completely, unfortunitly your the last thing keeping him together. it sucks, just help him out though. if he is stubborn there is not much else you can do, then make the decision from there.