TrevorDia Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 So, I'm 26 days NC (in that I haven't contacted my ex), but last night when I was drunk I went and added her on Instagram, which I woke up realising was a big mistake. But when I woke up, I got a notification on my phone saying that she'd accepted my follow and that I was now following her on Instagram, and in all honesty I thought "maybe I'm in a place where I can be friends from a distance with her". But when I opened up her Instagram, it was still private. She'd accepted, had second thoughts, and removed me again. And that hurt. She wins again... And now I can't stop thinking about her. I can't believe all my progress was for nothing -.- Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Your progress was NOT for nothing! It's still there, you've just had a bump in the road. Go ahead and re-block her there -- and anywhere else she isn't already blocked. This isn't a game where one of you wins and one of you loses.... blocking her is for YOUR healing, only. It has nothing to do with her or what she's doing. It's to help you move on, that's all. It's insanely too soon to even consider "friendship" -- that's a long long way down the road, my friend, and by the time you get there you probably won't care enough to bother. Keep moving forward, you're not the first person ever to drink too much after a breakup and have a lapse in judgment! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 You kinda broke NC. But at least it was only on social media. You didn't send a love letter apologizing and begging her to come back. Yeah, she knows you were thinking about her but you haven't lost all of your progress. 26 days is still raw and feelings are fresh. Be grateful that it didn't happen when you were farther down the coping line. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrevorDia Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 Your progress was NOT for nothing! It's still there, you've just had a bump in the road. Go ahead and re-block her there -- and anywhere else she isn't already blocked. This isn't a game where one of you wins and one of you loses.... blocking her is for YOUR healing, only. It has nothing to do with her or what she's doing. It's to help you move on, that's all. It's insanely too soon to even consider "friendship" -- that's a long long way down the road, my friend, and by the time you get there you probably won't care enough to bother. Keep moving forward, you're not the first person ever to drink too much after a breakup and have a lapse in judgment! You kinda broke NC. But at least it was only on social media. You didn't send a love letter apologizing and begging her to come back. Yeah, she knows you were thinking about her but you haven't lost all of your progress. 26 days is still raw and feelings are fresh. Be grateful that it didn't happen when you were farther down the coping line. Thanks to both of you, you're far nicer than I deserve after going backwards like that. I've deleted Instagram. Stops me from ever adding her again. I've also done something I should have done a long time ago - when I first entered NC, I knew I'd end up wanting to talk to her, so when I deleted her number from my phone, I made a copy of it and saved it on my laptop so I'd have it if I needed it. Today I overwrote it. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 It's like an alcoholic that "relapses". Just start over on your recovery and try not to have that "one drink" again. You'll be alright! Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 I couldn't bring myself to delete instagram. I did stop looking at the browse section though and the section where you can see what the people you follow like. All I needed was to click on an unsuspecting picture of something my ex posted to send me into a murderous rage. I blocked him on Instagram but his name still pops up if he likes one of our mutual friends pictures. Just his username gives me little blips of anxiety. I feel a thousand times better in my healing that I have not checked his social media once. And god bless the block function on facebook. Hallelujah praise Jesus. Amen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acapelo_dp Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Don't worry about it that much! Yes you made a mistake but that's alright, it's part of the healing process and there will be bumps in the road. She doesn't win, try not to look at it that way. She accepted you at first so she messed up as well. I only consider looking at social media pages breaking NC when it hurts after you see it. I am in "No contact" with my ex and it's been 14 days, 3 months post break up and I checked his FB (we aren't friends on there) yesterday and it didn't phase me. I don't consider that breaking NC because it didn't affect me at all. There are better days ahead, trust me and be careful when you are out drinking. Can you block her on instagram at all? Blocking her on social media might be a good idea for you at this time. Good luck you you! You can get through this Link to post Share on other sites
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