nzchick Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Here's the picture, I'm 18 yrs old and I'm still living with my parents. We've been here in nz for just 2 yrs almost and we originally came from the philippines. we're very religious and we love god above all. i just broke up with my ex bf of a year and a half (meaning ever since i got here in nz, i never really met people coz i went out with someone the moment i got here), and now i finally met people that i really get along with, the people from the shore which is like 20 mins drive away from our place. theyre filipinos, and we usualyl hang out till 1 in the morning because it's the school holidays. i never really went out like this, but i started like just 5 days ago, which was sunday. I stayed there till 230 am and I got home at 3 am. I lied that i couldnt get a ride from someone coz my friend went home coz she was tired.. etc. But i did get home, and I thought its okay coz i dont have work or school the next day adn I'm 18.. and they know the girl i hang out with and she drives me around all the time. Well it pissed me off coz my mum was waiting for me till 3 am. Of course i received lectures etc about how irresponsible and how mean i am to them etc. BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THEM. They have a point, but still.. i mean they should let me decide on my own. anyway. This happened the next day again.. i went out till 10 pm and there they are.. the whole family waiting in the lounge :/ They asked my friend, jenny, to come in and they talked to her nicely and friendly till 11. So yeah they told me they trust me. So I was happy as. Thursday night I went out and told them I'm gonna watch a movie that starts at 930 pm and it finished at around 12 so i got home at 1230. my mum was still up and waiting in the lounge. of course i felt bad coz she didnt get to have some sleep.. then last night was the worst.. i asked for permission for this party ages ago.. and i got home at 2.30 am. My parents were in tears telling me how irresponsible and how much sadness im giving them. I texted them the whole night ever bleeping 30 minutes! I do understand dad that i might forget about my studies etc.. but shoot its the school holidays!!! they were crying really hard and i feel so guilty.. but my point is.. cant htey understand that i wana enjoy my life too? they said there are other ways for me to enjoy.. but i mean.. why do they have to pick for me? my dad said he'd rather see me leave them and he'll disown me than him seeing me ruin my future. he kept telling me how much he loves me.. he was crying.. and how scared he was that i might end up being one of those kids who end up taking drugs and drinking etc.. i dont know how to gain their trust back. i havent done anything really bad anyway.. but its jsut taht i used to be their perfect little daughter who always studies (i still doo!!!!!!!!!!) and never goes out of the house.. and there's this party (my closest friend's birthday! I HAVE TO GO) which is 6 days away.. and i so wanna go.. but how can i get their trust??? PLEASE HELP ME. I love my parents and i know theyre doing this coz they love me.. but i wana enjoy my life too.. Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Here's what I did when I was 16, I managed to talk my way into having no curfew as long as I told my parents where I was and made it to school on time with my homework done, and went to work on time. (I spent the night at my girls a lot ) Sit them down and talk about it. Tell them that you'll always tell them where you are going. (and do it, even if it's bogus, tell them your going to study with friends if you have to) that you'll always get to school/work on time, and do your homework. (and do it) that your not doing drugs or drinking or having sex (even if it's not true, gotta make the parents feel good) that you'll always call if your going to be later than planned (and do it, even if the reason for being late is bogus) Tell them to please go to sleep, and offer to wake your mom up when you get home to let her know your home and safe (this is what my mom did for me, and does for my sisters. She goes to bed but we had to wake her and tell her we were home) Agree to spend a certain number of evenings at home when your doing homework and eat dinner with them a few nights a week. See if maybe there is some curfew time that they will agree to. Tell them that your 18 that your responsible and ask them to please make some exceptions to the curfew for pre-planned things like birthday parties. If they won't compromise, it's time to move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nzchick Posted April 24, 2005 Author Share Posted April 24, 2005 thanks alottttt!!!! I'll try to find the right time to do this.. but moving out aint an option for me. my dad's gona disown me if i move out without finishing my studies yet.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nzchick Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 woohooo they agreed. 2 times a week (weekdays) up till 9 pm. and on fridays till 2 am.. as long as my ssiter will pick me up. haha up to them if thats what they want. thanks alotttt!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I'm glad it worked out. Link to post Share on other sites
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