Is this the best way to get my ex back?

[figgurinoutlife]

My ex and I have remained good friends since our mutual breakup 6 months ago. We broke up because of some issues I needed to fix, which I eventually did. We were both in love and dated for 6 months and have after the breakup remained good friends to where we talk to each other everyday and we have still fooled around up until 2 months ago. She was pretty much obsessed with me, and totally in love. 2 months after our breakup she starts dating around and though she has liked some she's dated, her relationships, flings, whatever seem to last around a month or so. I said I wanted to date her again 4 months ago, now that my issues were fixed, but she wanted me to date others for awhile to make sure she was the one and she said at that time she was still in love with me, but wanted me to date others.

 

Well everytime whoever she's dating goes sour she gets close to me again, but not to close to where we are dating again, then when she starts talking to someone we are just more friends again. Well this last month we got on the subject of us and she said "I could never date you again," and I was like "why?" she said because I was not as outgoing as her. She knows I fixed my issues and am dateable now, but I am working on being more outgoing because I want to be. After she said that to me she said "but I do want to have sex with you right now." So she is still sexually attracted to me.

 

This is what I did after she told me all this:

I kind of teared up and got mad because she didn't tell me this sooner and said "lose my number" and went home and typed her a goodbye email in which I said I have to heal from you so I can finally move on now that I finally know you don't want to date me again and I said not to call me anymore so I could get over you and move on. I also told her I still love her and always will. Basically it was a goodbye, best wishes, blah blah blah. She is pretty mad at me now cause I did this and may hate me. She has tried to call a few times to urgently want something back, so I texted her from my comp. because I didn't want to talk and said I'll put your CD under my welcome mat for you to come get (she still hasn't picked it up). She has tried to call a few more times after that and left no messages (I didn't answer). She has not tried to call the last couple days.

 

I do want her back because I feel she is the one. Regardless of whether you all think we're good for each other am I going about this the right way by cutting off friendship with her and doing no contact? Is this the best way to get her to want to date me again? Is it a bad idea to try to be friends w/her if I want her back?

 

Do you think she'll start to realize what she lost soon? (because I am a good catch)

[br995]

Unfortunately, I don't think you can get her back. She has spent months thinking about what she wants, and has decided it's not you.

 

However, no contact is the route to go in this situation. You need to move on and get over her, and if she can't accept that then she obviously cares much more about her self then about you.

[faux]

It definitely does not sound as though you are going to be able to get her back, as you put it. You fixed what you had to fix. If she were interested in dating you she would be right now. As for her saying you are not outgoing enough, she may be telling the truth or she may be using this as a sorry excuse to get more distance from you. I wouldn't go about trying to make myself more outgoing if someone did not think I was outgoing enough, at least not to get that person back, or to get that person more interested in me. Someone either likes you for who you are and what you have to offer, or they don't.

 

It might be a good idea to stop sending her messages. To me, she has made it clear that she is not going to date you.