LDR always leads to heartbreak?

[nellyville]

Im currently studying in Thailand and met my "now ex" through our school exchnage programme.Im from Africa and she is from the Netherlands.At first we were just friends but along the course,the tide turned otherwise.To cut the story short,we then hit it off during her final two weeks in the ending of the exchange programme.She indicated that she wanted to keep our relationship open because of distance and that it was too early to make a commitment for anything in future,a decision I agreed to.We agreed that should anything happen in case of having found interest in another person we will inform each other.

 

After leaving Thailand and she headed to Philliphines. A couple of days later she said she had met a guy and they just kissed but nothing happened.She said one factor influenced her because part of the agreement we had was that anyone was independent to do what she/he wants.Well i was hurt and felt a bit jealousy but it never bothered me much.From Phillipines,she went to Malaysia,Singapore and finally India.Our communication was ok and in India she once again indicated kissing another guy.Once again I started to see the writing on the wall that this wasnt going to last either (even though I knew this from the onset).Then she started being distant and I knew that my time was up.I was just dump enough not read through the lines as communication between me and her was poor now.Then yesterday she delivered the final straw that she had met some Indian guy and they were seriously in love.Infact she dumped me.

 

I kind of feel so down and I really dont know what to do.Deep down Im hurt but then I looked at the agreement we made.It started dawning to me she has already made a decision a while ago in the context of the agreement we had.Is there anything wrong I did?Wanna hear people's thoughts.

[emi]

Yes, being in an open relationship.

Beside, LDRs not always lead to heartbreaks. They are like normal relationship, some work, some dont.

If you it is a right person, you make it work.

 

 

 

 

Im currently studying in Thailand and met my "now ex" through our school exchnage programme.Im from Africa and she is from the Netherlands.At first we were just friends but along the course,the tide turned otherwise.To cut the story short,we then hit it off during her final two weeks in the ending of the exchange programme.She indicated that she wanted to keep our relationship open because of distance and that it was too early to make a commitment for anything in future,a decision I agreed to.We agreed that should anything happen in case of having found interest in another person we will inform each other.

 

After leaving Thailand and she headed to Philliphines. A couple of days later she said she had met a guy and they just kissed but nothing happened.She said one factor influenced her because part of the agreement we had was that anyone was independent to do what she/he wants.Well i was hurt and felt a bit jealousy but it never bothered me much.From Phillipines,she went to Malaysia,Singapore and finally India.Our communication was ok and in India she once again indicated kissing another guy.Once again I started to see the writing on the wall that this wasnt going to last either (even though I knew this from the onset).Then she started being distant and I knew that my time was up.I was just dump enough not read through the lines as communication between me and her was poor now.Then yesterday she delivered the final straw that she had met some Indian guy and they were seriously in love.Infact she dumped me.

 

I kind of feel so down and I really dont know what to do.Deep down Im hurt but then I looked at the agreement we made.It started dawning to me she has already made a decision a while ago in the context of the agreement we had.Is there anything wrong I did?Wanna hear people's thoughts.

[justwhoiam]

She indicated that she wanted to keep our relationship open because of distance and that it was too early to make a commitment for anything in future,a decision I agreed to.We agreed that should anything happen in case of having found interest in another person we will inform each other.

There was not much you could do. I guess it was a fling for her, but nothing more.

 

Then yesterday she delivered the final straw that she had met some Indian guy and they were seriously in love.Infact she dumped me.

As you can see, she couldn't care less about the distance: India is even farther than Africa, considering she's from the Netherlands.

 

I kind of feel so down and I really dont know what to do.

Just move on. She was not a catch for you.

 

Deep down Im hurt but then I looked at the agreement we made.It started dawning to me she has already made a decision a while ago in the context of the agreement we had.

Yeah.

 

Is there anything wrong I did?

Well, her feelings for you were mild, so even if you had said that an open relationship was not for you, I guess nothing would have changed. In general though, I guess you need to pay attention to such agreements, because 1) it's never good for a man when he shows that he can be easily wrapped around her little finger, 2) it can play against you, 3) she might think you have mild feelings for her and will wait for some other guy that will be very passionate about her and with her.