Epiphany.

[na49]

Leave the group. Writing something like that seems like a stab to me. That's something my ex would do. Are we seriously the same person, who dated the same girl?

 

Glad to see you're having a good day. Deactivating your Facebook was the right idea in my opinion. I'm actually sick of Facebook too. It's so boring for me now. For some reason when I was with my ex, I enjoyed being on Facebook, and seeing what other people were doing. Basically all of my pictures were with her, so I have none left. Well the only ones left are the ones that the guy she left me for forgot to delete. Yeah, she had him and his brother delete 600+ pictures of us. He probably loved every minute of it. That douche rocket..

 

I'm glad to see you're having a good day today. It's a serious rollercoaster of emotions, so enjoy the highs while you have them, and remember that the lows are only temporary.

[Lizrd3000]

Leave the group. Writing something like that seems like a stab to me. That's something my ex would do. Are we seriously the same person, who dated the same girl?

 

Glad to see you're having a good day. Deactivating your Facebook was the right idea in my opinion. I'm actually sick of Facebook too. It's so boring for me now. For some reason when I was with my ex, I enjoyed being on Facebook, and seeing what other people were doing. Basically all of my pictures were with her, so I have none left. Well the only ones left are the ones that the guy she left me for forgot to delete. Yeah, she had him and his brother delete 600+ pictures of us. He probably loved every minute of it. That douche rocket..

 

I'm glad to see you're having a good day today. It's a serious rollercoaster of emotions, so enjoy the highs while you have them, and remember that the lows are only temporary.

 

My ex probably cheated on me with you, and decided she didn't want either of us.

 

I have a tattoo on my chest with: This too shall pass

It's about the highs and lows of life, and that both the good and bad in your life, will eventually pass.

 

The reason you gave for Facebook is exactly what I think/feel about it. Only difference is that me and my ex apperently both decided not to delete our pictures. I don't think my ex is a bitter person, your ex on the other hand, does seem to be a ''little'' bitter(?).

 

Thanks for the reply! I hope you're doing well man. Is na27 your other account btw?

[na49]

My ex probably cheated on me with you, and decided she didn't want either of us.

 

I have a tattoo on my chest with: This too shall pass

It's about the highs and lows of life, and that both the good and bad in your life, will eventually pass.

 

The reason you gave for Facebook is exactly what I think/feel about it. Only difference is that me and my ex apperently both decided not to delete our pictures. I don't think my ex is a bitter person, your ex on the other hand, does seem to be a ''little'' bitter(?).

 

Thanks for the reply! I hope you're doing well man. Is na27 your other account btw?

 

lol who knows man? Your story and mine are so similar. That quote is so popular because it's true. Something else that has given me some hope is how uncertain the future is. Although I believe it looks bleak at times, there really is no telling what is in store for either of us. I'm sure you weren't expecting to be broken up a year ago. I know I wasn't. Things are constantly changing, so who knows where we'll be a year from now?

 

My ex dumped me twice. The first time she left, our pictures stayed. This time though, she got rid of so many of them. The dude she left me for did it, which is such a kick in the shins. As if I didn't get sh*t on enough by him f*cking her two weeks after she left me. He also deleted any trace of me from her page. The picture of her promise ring is still up with me tagged in it, which is a real dagger to the heart. Luckily she is blocked, so I don't see that picture anymore.

 

Also, no that's not my other account. I think it's funny that someone used a similar name as me though. When I first joined here, I didn't expect to be here for 2000+ posts, so I made my username something random. Everyone here has been so awesome though, I don't know what I'd do without this place.

Edited June 5, 2015 by na49

[Lizrd3000]

lol who knows man? Your story and mine are so similar. That quote is so popular because it's true. Something else that has given me some hope is how uncertain the future is. Although I believe it looks bleak at times, there really is no telling what is in store for either of us. I'm sure you weren't expecting to be broken up a year ago. I know I wasn't. Things are constantly changing, so who knows where we'll be a year from now?

 

My ex dumped me twice. The first time she left, our pictures stayed. This time though, she got rid of so many of them. The dude she left me for did it, which is such a kick in the shins. As if I didn't get sh*t on enough by him f*cking her two weeks after she left me. He also deleted any trace of me from her page. The picture of her promise ring is still up with me tagged in it, which is a real dagger to the heart. Luckily she is blocked, so I don't see that picture anymore.

 

Also, no that's not my other account. I think it's funny that someone used a similar name as me though. When I first joined here, I didn't expect to be here for 2000+ posts, so I made my username something random. Everyone here has been so awesome though, I don't know what I'd do without this place.

 

This other dude is such a pathetic piece of sh*t. Making her delete memories of her ex? Jealous much?

 

Me and my ex broke up 2 times in total too, firsrt time we got back together, this break up is the second and last time, just like you! This will be your last time too!

 

You and I both deserve better man!

 

Today was 7/10 actually!

Great day, great weather, and just got back from a bar with colleagues and friends, was alot of fun! Girl that was in a relationship was flirting with me, but I didn't show any interest as she was in a relationship. I'm proud of this! Kept my morals high, still got a confidence boost from the flirting she did on me!

 

One of the best days I've had in a long time.

Also realized that I want to do something with working out alot, maybe become a fitness model one day. My friend is one too!

 

Cheeeeeers people!

[Chi townD]

This other dude is such a pathetic piece of sh*t. Making her delete memories of her ex? Jealous much?

 

Me and my ex broke up 2 times in total too, firsrt time we got back together, this break up is the second and last time, just like you! This will be your last time too!

 

You and I both deserve better man!

 

Today was 7/10 actually!

Great day, great weather, and just got back from a bar with colleagues and friends, was alot of fun! Girl that was in a relationship was flirting with me, but I didn't show any interest as she was in a relationship. I'm proud of this! Kept my morals high, still got a confidence boost from the flirting she did on me!

 

One of the best days I've had in a long time.

Also realized that I want to do something with working out alot, maybe become a fitness model one day. My friend is one too!

 

Cheeeeeers people!

 

 

 

Do something different with your workout. Look online for the next mud run coming your way. Like Warrior Dash or the Spartan Race or a Zombie Run. Look these races up online and see if one is going to be in your area. Grab some friends and have them do it with you. You can probably do a Warrior Dash or Zombie Run but I don't think you're badass enough for a Spartan Race !

 

 

Check it out, great way to have some fun, get some fresh air and exercise and enjoy the after race party. Your racing bib is worth two beers at the end of the Warrior Dash race (unless they changed it). GEt some friends together and have some fun!

[Lizrd3000]

Do something different with your workout. Look online for the next mud run coming your way. Like Warrior Dash or the Spartan Race or a Zombie Run. Look these races up online and see if one is going to be in your area. Grab some friends and have them do it with you. You can probably do a Warrior Dash or Zombie Run but I don't think you're badass enough for a Spartan Race !

 

 

Check it out, great way to have some fun, get some fresh air and exercise and enjoy the after race party. Your racing bib is worth two beers at the end of the Warrior Dash race (unless they changed it). GEt some friends together and have some fun!

Well, I live somewhere in europe, I don't think I can apply for those, but I'm sure there are others around here!

 

Don't think I'm badass, huh? Puh.

Great idea, thanks!

 

I'm feeling up and down lately, obviously.

But now it just feels like I'm going through the motions, and it feels like reality isn't real. It's hard to explain, but it feels like as if my past has never existed. I feel like me and my ex have never existed. I also feel as if my present is just not real somehow. Even on good days I feel like this.

Just unreal-ness.

 

Today was 6/10. was hung over, but I worked out and did my things. Sunny weather. Good stuff.

[Lizrd3000]

I'm sick today, couldn't do anything buy lay down.

Didn't eat as well as I wanted aswell.

 

Oh, and I also looked at my ex's Facebook through someone elses Facebook, since I deactivated my own. There wasnt really anything on there, but I do miss her. I also reminded myself why I don't want her back though. She still has that picture on a vacation with this other dude laying on his chest, from when we were still together. I had a big fight about that picture, but like always she then told me I was over-reacting.

 

I guess I'm happy I looked at her FB, I hate my ex. How could she treat me like that when we were still together?

 

in 2 days my ex-mother in law will contact me to ask if I passed my exams. I'll tell her I did and just leave it at that. Not gonna ask if my ex passed hers. I couldn't care less if she passed or not to be honest. But in all honesty, I'm not gonna ask so that she'll assume I don't care about her anymore and make her wonder why.

 

I remember when I was 15 years old, I was in a depression and wondered if I would ever feel happy and not be lonely. here I am, 5 years later, with the exact same feelings, knowing that I'll probably spend a long f*cking time here, and not truely ever be not alone. I'm sure I'll be used in my future relationships aswell.

 

My days are just about working out, eating well and alot, and sleep well (even though I can't really sleep that well, I didn't sleep until 5:30AM today.) And I'm so bored if I think about it. Knowing that my ex who used and cheated on me is having the time of her life leaves me feeling so f*cking ****ty. It's not fair.

 

Still going No Contact, except for me caving in today and checking her FB. Haven't spoken to her since May 18th.

 

My heart sometimes skips a beat and beats irregular, and I don't know if it's related to my heartbreak, but it's scary.

 

Today sucks, 2/10.

 

Just watched

video, and it made me realize that it's okay that I still love her ex. And to love is sometimes to let go. She needs to become a stronger version of herself, and apperently that does not involve me, and probably involves another guy. And that's okay. I don't need to have her to love her. And I catch myself almost everytime, like I just did, fooling myelf into thinking that I hate her and never want to see her again. But I care deeply for her, and if she's happier without me, then so be it. It's not fair towards HER if I just throw away the memories and love I had for her. Maybe for the time I'm in right now it's necessary, but I'm sure that I'll always love her from afair, as probably will she. We were each others first love and sexual partners. It's only normal that we'll have a special place for each other in our hearts, even if we'll maybe never speak to each other again.

 

I don't even know what I'm saying. All I know is that I can't blame her for the decisions she makes, even if they hurt me. It's her life, as is this life mine. We just want what is best for ourselves, and sometimes hurt is involved. But it's okay.

Edited June 9, 2015 by Lizrd3000

[Lizrd3000]

Yesterday was good.

 

Today was horrible.

Just caved in and checked her Facebook. She uploaded some pictures where she seems really happy. I know you upload your best pictures where you seem happy, and Facebook doesn't tell the whole story, but still.

 

She also does not wear my necklace I gave her, which used to be my mother's. Obviously she doesn't wear it anymore, but it still hurts.

 

I don't know why I checked, I didn't need to. It does not feel like I'm back to day 1, but it's still not good.

 

Overall, these past few days I just focused on myself, as I'm supposed to. but today I had a really long work day from 12 to 10PM. I was mentally exhausted and had no strength, which caused me to cave in I think.

 

Also, alot of guys comment on her pictures on facebook, calling her babe and sh*t. It really f*cks me up. She's not mine anymore, probably never was, but it hurts like hell.

 

Still haven't contacted her though, I will never contact her anymore, never. I'm so f*cking done with this sh*t. She never even treated me like I deserve. Why pine for someone like that.

 

Also, I realized something.

I realized that there are other girls, better girls, my taste ind of girls, but the thing is; I really can't be bothered getting close to another girl again, I don't know how I did it in the first palce with my now ex. I really can't be bothered doing it again. Don't know if this realization is good overall though.

 

 

Edit; Also reached 1 month post BU today. so also almost 1 month NC...

[organizedchaos]

Yesterday was good.

 

Today was horrible.

Just caved in and checked her Facebook. She uploaded some pictures where she seems really happy. I know you upload your best pictures where you seem happy, and Facebook doesn't tell the whole story, but still.

 

She also does not wear my necklace I gave her, which used to be my mother's. Obviously she doesn't wear it anymore, but it still hurts.

 

I don't know why I checked, I didn't need to. It does not feel like I'm back to day 1, but it's still not good.

 

Overall, these past few days I just focused on myself, as I'm supposed to. but today I had a really long work day from 12 to 10PM. I was mentally exhausted and had no strength, which caused me to cave in I think.

 

Also, alot of guys comment on her pictures on facebook, calling her babe and sh*t. It really f*cks me up. She's not mine anymore, probably never was, but it hurts like hell.

 

Still haven't contacted her though, I will never contact her anymore, never. I'm so f*cking done with this sh*t. She never even treated me like I deserve. Why pine for someone like that.

 

Also, I realized something.

I realized that there are other girls, better girls, my taste ind of girls, but the thing is; I really can't be bothered getting close to another girl again, I don't know how I did it in the first palce with my now ex. I really can't be bothered doing it again. Don't know if this realization is good overall though.

 

 

Edit; Also reached 1 month post BU today. so also almost 1 month NC...

 

You continue to check her Facebook when we warned you it will hold you back.

 

And look where you are now.

 

You are NOT 1 month NC bc you checked her fb. That is contact. You've reset the clock and it starts all over again.

[Lizrd3000]

I had contact with her, i said

 

Hey, how are you?

 

She then said

 

Hey!

(Im crying now)

But im good!

you?

 

Then we started talking, and i made a joke about it being awkward, which she then replied that she doesnt think its awkward. Then i cut the conversation short, and told her i'll speak her later.

 

I feel okay about it, not sure if itll last, but i did notice that if she wouldnt have answered my text that id feel down. Luckily she answered immediatly when i texted her. Like 20 seconds...

[frigginlost]

I had contact with her, i said

 

Hey, how are you?

 

She then said

 

Hey!

(Im crying now)

But im good!

you?

 

Then we started talking, and i made a joke about it being awkward, which she then replied that she doesnt think its awkward. Then i cut the conversation short, and told her i'll speak her later.

 

I feel okay about it, not sure if itll last, but i did notice that if she wouldnt have answered my text that id feel down. Luckily she answered immediatly when i texted her. Like 20 seconds...

 

Honestly?

 

Within' the next 24 to 48 hours you're gonna be hurting like you would not believe. Why? Because with each passing minute, you're going to wonder why she is not reaching out the way you want her to. In other words, you're going to want her to say she wants you back...

 

Should have left it alone, buddy...

[Yummm]

Mate.....

 

Goodluck

[Lizrd3000]

Honestly?

 

Within' the next 24 to 48 hours you're gonna be hurting like you would not believe. Why? Because with each passing minute, you're going to wonder why she is not reaching out the way you want her to. In other words, you're going to want her to say she wants you back...

 

Should have left it alone, buddy...

 

You're right, i do want her to want her back, or have acknowledgement that she's hurting aswell. I dont want to feel like im the only one hurting. We were supposedly "in love". I can't handle the thoughts anymore about her never having love towards me. The 2 years we were together feels so distant en blurry. As if it isnt a part of me, and it freaks me out.

 

 

Just rambling thoughts.

[JewelD]

I think you guys misunderstood. Which is Obvious because I haven't said so in OP.

 

 

our relationship was good. I had dependancy issues, which was the cause of break up #1. I changed myself and understood to make this work, I had to put a few steps back and enjoy myself when I'm not with her, and I learned to do so. I'm not THAT much of a doormat, I told her what I thought, and if she did not share the same view of points as I did, I'd defend mine, which I think defines if you're being a doormat or not. I also didn't Always tell her ''yes'' when she wanted something, our relationship was pretty balanced.

 

 

the thing is, I slipped up after I broke it off. I got back into old habbits by wearing my heart on my sleeve. She loved me because of my sensitive ways, but I could be straight to the point and up-tight when neccesary. I'm not THAT much of a bitch, atleast, I try to hide it.

 

 

 

 

What I'm thinking right now is, that when I asked her to get together with me, she got repulsed because it's only been a few days since the break up.

Because when I asked her if she'd want to get together the day we broke up (I know, weird. trust me, it was a legitimate question during THAT conversation, I wasn't bread crumbing. lmao.) she said she wouldn't say no.

 

 

by asking her after only a few days, it showed that I'm weak and can't live without her. I'm disgusted by myself. :/

 

 

Thing is, there are two options here.

 

 

1: She wants me back but is holding back due not wanting to seem dependant on me. She's a girl with way too much pride.

 

 

2: She doesn't want me back, and me breaking up with her was the best thing happening to her, she didn't have to dump me. Which would suck, because if this is the case, I'd never go back to her. it'd feel like having lost true love.

 

 

I feel like no one knows what I'm going through, which is extremely selfish, but I truely feel this way. I feel like complete utter ****, and I feel like this will never end, I'll Always have thoughts about her not giving a **** about me, meanwhile I'm here wishing we'd just get back together.

We used to have all these dreams, atleast I genuinely did. Those are now crushed, and it's basically all my fault for breaking up in the first place.

This sounds so dramatic, but my stomache is making twists it shouldn't be doing, and my heart is dropping constantly and racing when thoughts of her enter my head. All the while she doesn't care.

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry, I just had to fent. I can't be this honest to people in real life.

I hope you guys don't mind, and maybe if someone felt the same way I do, how long did it last, describe how you felt etc. I really have to know I'm not alone in this. :/

 

 

 

Read some of the other posts on here. You are NOT alone. There's people going through the same thing and worse. Think of it this way: your ex is at least being kind by letting you know that she has no intentions of changing and that she doesn't want to hurt you by being with you. She could have just said taken you back and kept flirting with people behind your back. Then you'd feel even worse.

 

Trust me, it could be so much worse. I had a terrible relationship with my ex and he was very cruel when we broke up before he flat out ignoring me. I felt the same way as you, hurt, lost, like a POS that nobody wanted, that it would never end.

 

Its been a month and I still feel like that some days, but other days, I feel good and I know that NC is the right thing, and that something good is coming my way and something crappy is coming his way.

 

Get a journal and write down your feelings. If you feel like curling in a ball and crying, write it down. and be honest about ur feelings. It's okay to still love someone who has hurt you. and those feelings will eventually fade. You'll realize your self worth, that you deserve MUCH better and you'll be pissed that she treated you that way. You won't want her back anymore.

 

It's going to take time, nobody knows how much, but it won't be forever. But don't ignore your pain. Embrace it, feel it, cope with it, understand it, accept it. It's just a phase. There's probably been other things in your life you thought you'd never get over, but you did. You can get over this, too.

 

"If you're going through Hell, keep going"- Winston Churchill

[Lizrd3000]

Haven't heard from her since our last convo when I cut her short.

I feel as if I'm now inclined to keep her unblocked, in a way.

I also don't want to block her again, I want to keep the lines of communication open. I won't take her back if she'd suggest getting back together, I'm over that idea a long time ago. So I really don't have any expectations, I think. I do hope she wishes me good luck on my exams tomorrow, but I know I shouldn't hope for these things.

 

I also continue to work out, It's become something I REALLY enjoy doing, and on rest days I just wish I could just work out again. Also making some progress. Eating really good and everything. The days off are just so boring and full of thoughts about my ex. Especially on days when the sun doesnt shine.

 

Still think pretty low of myself. I pushed the friends I had away during my relationship, so I've been trying to regain those friendships, but it's just so ****ing hard.

 

So I'm currently just working on myself, my self esteem and my physique, so once I get out of this dark place I can shine like a bright star and be the best version of myself, and show it to other people. Hopefully making more friends and hopefully finding a lover too.

[Lizrd3000]

Ive been missing her lately.. I got triggered by a couple that talked to eachother in the exact samw way me and my ex did. I also dreamt about an older women tonight, which i admired because she was exactly like my ex, personality and looks wise. (This was a dream, but really felt good) and once i woke up i felt empty and missing her more than ever.

 

She still hasnt contacted me since the last time we spoke. She probably never will, because she told me at our break up, that i should be the one initiating contact, if ever, after our breakup. And i dont think she cares as much anymore.

 

Also, the ex mother in law has stopped contacting me it seems, as ive pushed her away with short answers all the time.

[Lizrd3000]

Checking in....

 

Feeling horrible.

All my friends are on vacation to turkey, but i couldnt join them because of work and they could only go on this date.. now im left behind with my thoughts and really lonely. I think about my ex constantly and today is a really hard day. My friends will be gone for 14 more days... how am i gonna live through these 14 days..? I feel like im in hell right now.

 

I am getting a tattoo in 14 days too, im pretty excited about that, but that also is so very far away. It seems like ages from now.

 

Im also going on vacation with my best bud who is currently also in turkey in a month, but thats also so very far away.

 

My ex isnt showing any signs of wanting to get back together. Her mother whatsapped me yesterday, i replied but got no reply afterwards, and feel like complete **** now.

 

How am i gonna survive these weeks guys? I cant seem to find a way out.

[Yummm]

2 weeks is nothing buddy, take day by day, it will pass quickly.

 

Whenever you are in your own thoughts and the negativity pops up, don't dwell on it, move it to the BACK of your mind and distract yourself. Let the thoughts be there, but do not start over analyzing, let them pass and they will.

 

Hang in there, you'll be fine

[Lizrd3000]

Friends got back today, and got my tattoo today! first one!

 

Like I said, I'll post a picture of my tattoo.

 

http://i62.tinypic.com/s3j5fr.png

 

Me and my ex have been in low contact ever since she came over to have sex 3 times in one day, telling me she loves me and calling me ''love''. Not really sure what to make of all of this, but I'll just keep on going. I learned that if you let anything go, it'll come back around if it's meant to be.

 

I don't really believe in fairy tale-like true love or anything, but more as in if she loves me, she'll come back to me in the end and hopefully change her ways to be with me.

 

Just checking in with a cool pic! today was an ok day. Miss my ex alot though.