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why does she do this?


Bobby Dygytul

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Bobby Dygytul

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 weeks now. Well she is constantly telling me that she would never cheat on me and that i can trust her fully. I don't know why. I have NEVER questioned her about anything even related to something like that. I tell her that i will trust her fully until she gives me a reason not to. Why does she do this?

 

She has mostly guys as friends, and she is always talking about them and telling me about her ex boyfriends. (yes that definatley gets on my nerves) She has actually kisses up to me alot and she pages me way too much and calls my house very often. I ignore her pages sometimes when im busy and i don't always call her back, but thats just because i have a busy life and my life doesn't revolve around her.

 

The other nite she wanted to go to a concert with one of her male friends. She was like "if you don't want me to go, i won't" I told her that i didn't mind at all that she goes and i told her to have fun. Well she went and she was supposed to call me when she got home and she didn't. Well that was fine with me, i just figured that she got home late. The next mourning she called me appologizing like 50 times for not calling me. I told her that i wasn't mad at all. She kept saying "i swear im not cheating on you!!!"

 

I do like her and i enjoy being with her, but im not sure why she is acts like this. Right after we first started talking, (before we was actually dating) she called me one mourning and we started talking and she said that she slept with one of her guy friends the night before. Well i got kinda mad, but i didn't say anything, i just told her very bluntly that "I HAD TO GO!!!!!!" She knew i was mad at her and she then afterwards kissed up to me for days.

 

Can anyone figure any since of this? I really like her and i want to be with her but im just confused as to why she acts like this? Any advise is appriciated.

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hi bobby,

 

i was wondering, has your girlfriend had a previous boyfriend who always questioned her whereabouts? was he jealous and insecure that she has guy friends? if so, this may be the reason that she is trying to drum into you that she wouldn't cheat and can be trusted. if she had a bad experience with an ex not trusting her and it wasn't justified, perhaps she's afraid that you'll feel the same way if it's happened before.

 

some people, who know they can totally be trusted, feel the need for some reason to constantly reassure their partner that they won't cheat. if you've been cheated on in the past and she knows this, maybe she wants to reassure you that she's not like that. if she's afraid of being doubted for some reason, she might feel the need to reassure you all the time. some people know they can totally be trusted but are afraid their partner won't think so.

 

you could try asking her, "why do you constantly tell me you're not cheating on me and that i can trust you?". just don't put words in her mouth. get her tell you her reasons why she acts like this.

 

my guess is that something in the past - hers or yours - is leading her to behave this way. but sometimes a person constantly telling you that they can be trusted, actually makes you wonder if there's something going on, even if there isn't. ask her why she's telling this to you all the time, and let her know that it's really getting on your nerves.

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I think the behavior is just immature as hell. Any any girl who would tell a new boyfriend that she screwed somebody else the night before is a taco short of a combination platter.

 

I wouldn't trust her one bit. Her constant reminders that she wouldn't cheat on you is simply to keep you off guard. You can bet this gal will not be faithful. And besides that, she is NUTS!

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....i never thought of it that way. she could be sussing YOU out bobby :)

Maybe she thinks that your going to cheat on HER, and she wants YOU to reassure HER that your not going to cheat on her !!!
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She sounds insecure... if she tells u about her not-cheating, maybe she's worried that u'r cheating?

 

i have a bf and whenever i stay out late w/ a guy-friend, he said 'didja have another date?' and i just say yeah i did and joke it off...

 

so either she's rlly insecure (which is smth to worry about)

 

or she's cheating herself (which is even more to worry about)

 

I would definitely investigate this matter... maybe ask her half-jokingly why she always says that and see her reaction?

 

I hope this helped a bit!

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