RoseVille Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Or out of sight, out of mind? Mine tends to be the latter. How about you and your MP?
jen1447 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 What's MP? I'm moreso the former, especially sexually - if very much time goes by without getting some of what I need from them, I start to go nuts. I can get what I want elsewhere, but that just seems to make it worse in terms of the desire. It's like "ok that was great, but now I really need ____." 1
Mount Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 That bases on what you intend to acheive. I could be wrong, why I have a feeling that you want the relationship with MM back, you want your MM to want you? Or out of sight, out of mind? Mine tends to be the latter. How about you and your MP?
Author RoseVille Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 That bases on what you intend to acheive. I could be wrong, why I have a feeling that you want the relationship with MM back, you want your MM to want you? I'm simply asking a question about others' experiences. Mine is that when he's gone, I think of him less. It's only when he's near or in contact that I feel all squishy.
jen1447 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Jen: MP = Married Person Oh, sorry. LOL then my post totally makes it seem like I'm having multiple affairs with multiple marrieds.
minimariah Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 (edited) Or out of sight, out of mind? this is true for me. i can handle distances for a short period of time (business trips or something like that) but long distance relationships? nah. p.s. sorry, i thought you meant people in general not marrieds, lol. Edited May 18, 2015 by minimariah 1
minimariah Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I'm starting new LS acronyms! LOL! i didn't even read it right, i now see "my people" makes zero sense. ugh, i had too much rum in my chocolate milk obviously. :drunk:
GirlStillStrong Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I have no idea. Probably a little of both. Probably depends on how busy I am. 1
OldRover Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder... it makes you forget. That's why you do NC with someone you want to forget. 5
Mount Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I see. As long as which direction you determine to go, you just need to stick with it. I'm simply asking a question about others' experiences. Mine is that when he's gone, I think of him less. It's only when he's near or in contact that I feel all squishy.
Grapesofwrath Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 when it comes to the MM? OOSOOM. When he's not around and we're not communicating, I get very clear very quickly on that relationship and that possibilities it contains...or lack thereof. Makes it easier to move on. 1
Author RoseVille Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 when it comes to the MM? OOSOOM. When he's not around and we're not communicating, I get very clear very quickly on that relationship and that possibilities it contains...or lack thereof. Makes it easier to move on. I guess the only true statement, universally, is that "with distance comes clarity." And that's true whether it's meant to be, or you realize what a crock it all was. 5
Pretywoman Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 i can only agree the latter.. no contacts, i assume its all over.. 6 months later he text-ed and called me.. 1
Adoraxx Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 Could it be true that it's mostly for women: out of sight, out of mind ? (eventually) And for most men: Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I'm not sure.................................................................... 1
OWAmy Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 It is definitely IOSOOM for me. I just move on...only takes about a week of no contact for me to start feeling good8-)) I agree with Adorax - my experience with xMM and other relationships is that absence makes THEIR hearts grow fonder and I think they all still hold a torch for me. Not that I think I'm great or anything - my thoughts are they feel like this about all their past loves unless they were poisonous pairings. I think it's easier for women to move on guys just love getting stuck in their ruts! 2
Author RoseVille Posted May 19, 2015 Author Posted May 19, 2015 Could it be true that it's mostly for women: out of sight, out of mind ? (eventually) And for most men: Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I'm not sure.................................................................... You may be on to something here... 2
Foodjunkie79 Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I don't even know what im feeling anymore!! When we were together, I was hardly thinking of him at all because I was getting fed up with everything. Now ive ended it, im finding myself thinking of him more!! Song comes on the radio.....I get a reminder of a funny memory. Im a mish mash of emotions right now! 1
Popsicle Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 (edited) Out of sight out of mind for me. I need contact/stimulation/interaction or it dies. Memories, fantasies and thoughts remain, but they are not as potent as real interaction, and then one day before I even realized what happened, the concrete has snuck in and won out. Then I don't think about that other person anymore. And once my feeling have died, they never come back, so it doesn't even matter if he came back and tried to reconnect at that point. It would be futile then. Edited May 19, 2015 by Popsicle 2
Popsicle Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 (edited) Interesting that 100% of the posters say out of sight out of mind. Where does this famous saying absence makes the heart grow fonder come from then? It must be about couples who are already together 24/7 and need some space. The right amount if space can awaken your slumbering desire for your partner that you see everyday and maybe ward off that other old adage "Familiarity breeds contempt". That's why I think it's important for couples to have their own life and own separate social circle, but not to the point where they ignore and neglect each other. The space is pointless if it doesn't produce a feeling of missing/longing for each other, and more importantly, excitement when you are together. Edited May 19, 2015 by Popsicle 1
Adoraxx Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I can't remember where I read it, but I once read that men and women process things in a different way... How men tend to stay very very busy after an ending/ break up and they won't start thinking until it's at least months later and once that happens, it could be "absence makes the heart grow fonder" because they only seem to remember all the good things. Whereas women (this is what the article said) start to process things right away after an ending /break up , lots of emotions involved (I have to say that IS indeed how it is for me) and then, months later, the feelings start to fade a little / much (it depends I guess) , and then for women it could be "out of sight, out of mind" eventually? It's what I read somewhere and I'm probably writing it down all wrong but I can't remember where I read this. But for me it seems to be a possibility because the MM did indeed always say that he always stays busy and this and that, and "No time to think" and "I have other things to do" but then eventually he always seems to circle back. OK , that's probably because he eventually runs out of 'things to do' ?? I don't know. I'm so fed up with him right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1
m4p Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I guess the only true statement, universally, is that "with distance comes clarity." And that's true whether it's meant to be, or you realize what a crock it all was. I think it's probably OOSOOM for me, save for the random crazy psychotic breaks I get sometimes- then I'll obsess about him for a day, but otherwise I'll continue trudging on with my life. It really helps that I don't see him in flesh, (and I go all out of the way to prevent bumping into him. It's weird but we always had this intuition thing so I really have to try hard to avoid him). We both thrive on physical affections... Not only sex but lots of warmth and affections and constant skin contact and meeting everyday even if it's for just 10 minutes to say hello sometimes. Without all of that now I guess I won't be able to maintain a one sided relationship in my brains for too long.
OldRover Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 Could it be true that it's mostly for women: out of sight, out of mind ? (eventually) And for most men: Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I'm not sure.................................................................... Not for most men I know.... still OOSOOM works for both sexes.
Recommended Posts