RoseHeart Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 So this weekend I discovered with HORROR that the keys that my ex lost was under my bed the whole time. For 2 months now it has been laying there and I haven't realized. At the time that it happened he figured he lost it somewhere else and we both never mentioned it again. Now I've been on 2 months NC roughly so it was a bit of a pickle but I realized honesty is the best policy and that knowing I have his keys will eat me up so I contacted him for the first time in this long and told him about it. He was very kind towards me and immediately asked me how I was doing and said he'll pick them up from me today. I was a nervous wreck the entire day waiting for him to get his keys. When he arrived it was easy to remember why I fell for him. But I kept things short and sweet and didn't chit chat. He was the one who kept hugging me (he gave me four hugs during our entire 3 minute conversation at the gate) and he then went on to tell me how sorry he was for everything and that he feels bad. Seeing him say he's sorry made me say I'm sorry for everything and that I regret certain things too We both just stood there apologizing. He then left and we hugged goodbye again. I feel surprisingly good about it. I don't miss him so much right now. I'm more happy that I could make sure we both knew we are cool and not angry at each other and I am also just happy he got to see me again . It was a comforting experience for me and I think it might actually help me move on because now the mystery surrounding him has faded. I feel at peace and like whatever needs to happen will happen at the right time whether it's with him or not with him. Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I honestly don't want to be negative towards you, and I think you'll have a melt down tomorrow, when you'll realize your meeting didn't lead to anything. My guess is that you feel ok now because of the rush of endorphins you had from the encounter. I wouldn't be so sure about all your nice feelings toward him. You'll feel worse in days to come. I'm sorry. You could have avoided it though. You should have maintained no contact. Now you're progress is all gone and you'll have to start from zero. There was no need o be there when he picked up the keys, you should have left it with a neighbor. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I honestly don't want to be negative towards you, and I think you'll have a melt down tomorrow, when you'll realize your meeting didn't lead to anything. My guess is that you feel ok now because of the rush of endorphins you had from the encounter. I wouldn't be so sure about all your nice feelings toward him. You'll feel worse in days to come. I'm sorry. You could have avoided it though. You should have maintained no contact. Now you're progress is all gone and you'll have to start from zero. There was no need o be there when he picked up the keys, you should have left it with a neighbor. I think that depends on the person.... and things just may be fine and perhaps helped added closure. Others can fall apart and have to start all over. I've been in both situations. Would be nice to here the conclusion after a few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I think that depends on the person.... and things just may be fine and perhaps helped added closure. Others can fall apart and have to start all over. I've been in both situations. Would be nice to here the conclusion after a few weeks. But you should read her story... She blocked him, unblocked him, created s fake Facebook account to stalk him, etc. I hope she is ok after meeting him, but I've been on her shoes and can assure you that no good comes after an a counter with the ex when you're not over him. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I honestly don't want to be negative towards you, and I think you'll have a melt down tomorrow, when you'll realize your meeting didn't lead to anything. My guess is that you feel ok now because of the rush of endorphins you had from the encounter. I wouldn't be so sure about all your nice feelings toward him. You'll feel worse in days to come. I'm sorry. You could have avoided it though. You should have maintained no contact. Now you're progress is all gone and you'll have to start from zero. There was no need o be there when he picked up the keys, you should have left it with a neighbor. I have to say that I agree with this. I would have just put the keys in the mailbox or something. Maybe a friend could have dropped them off to him or left them at this house. In the year following my breakup, I would randomly find odds and ends that belonged to my ex. I put them all in a box and ended up getting a family member to drop them off to the ex. I think it would have been so awkward to see my ex to return stuff. Especially given the post-breakup history that we had, same as the OP's. Going NC and then caving. Playing games with LC. I knew I couldn't handle seeing him at that point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 I honestly don't want to be negative towards you, and I think you'll have a melt down tomorrow, when you'll realize your meeting didn't lead to anything. My guess is that you feel ok now because of the rush of endorphins you had from the encounter. I wouldn't be so sure about all your nice feelings toward him. You'll feel worse in days to come. I'm sorry. You could have avoided it though. You should have maintained no contact. Now you're progress is all gone and you'll have to start from zero. There was no need o be there when he picked up the keys, you should have left it with a neighbor. I would have loved to remain NC but I actually didn't have a choice. I live in a apartment building. People can't just walk in and out freely to collect things from people. I don't know any of my neighbors either. Sometimes situations are unavoidable and this was one of them. I'm not a dishonest person so I cannot just throw away another person's keys either or pretend I never found them. I assure you that if I had a choice I would not have done this. I don't see how any of my progress is gone really. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 I have to say that I agree with this. I would have just put the keys in the mailbox or something. Maybe a friend could have dropped them off to him or left them at this house. In the year following my breakup, I would randomly find odds and ends that belonged to my ex. I put them all in a box and ended up getting a family member to drop them off to the ex. I think it would have been so awkward to see my ex to return stuff. Especially given the post-breakup history that we had, same as the OP's. Going NC and then caving. Playing games with LC. I knew I couldn't handle seeing him at that point. We don't have mailboxes at our apartment building and neither does his one have that. See I live in a student town so the set up is different. Ultimately I could have given it to a friend but I think that makes me look like a very angry girl who cannot put on her big girl panties and give something as silly as a pair of keys to her ex. I'm stronger than that and felt like I was ready. To drag friends into this is making this a very big deal out of something minor and he'll realize this too. I suppose I felt like I've been healing a lot with the past few weeks and I'm actually still feeling really good about my decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I would have loved to remain NC but I actually didn't have a choice. I live in a apartment building. People can't just walk in and out freely to collect things from people. I don't know any of my neighbors either. Sometimes situations are unavoidable and this was one of them. I'm not a dishonest person so I cannot just throw away another person's keys either or pretend I never found them. I assure you that if I had a choice I would not have done this. I don't see how any of my progress is gone really. when i got done with his keys they would have been flat, unrecognizable bits of metal, thrown in the garbage because if he's gotten along without them all this time... and they weren't the keys to a kingdom, were they? and you could have mailed them to him, to his job, to his mom, registered. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 when i got done with his keys they would have been flat, unrecognizable bits of metal, thrown in the garbage because if he's gotten along without them all this time... and they weren't the keys to a kingdom, were they? and you could have mailed them to him, to his job, to his mom, registered. Haha yeah I feel you but thankfully I have no reason to be angry with him or to harm his keys. If he cheated on me or did something terrible I would have:p He was actually glad about the keys because he only managed to get one of the 3 keys replaced. He stays literally a few roads away from me so mailing it is a waste. I honestly think making a big deal out of minor things can sometimes be worse. Obviously if you're still head over heels in love and crying yourself to sleep every night then it's another story but I'm mentally strong and have done significant progress so I don't see why I should resort to really silly ways of getting a simple pair of keys back to him. Link to post Share on other sites
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