Mrlonelyone Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Something to ponder but not dwell on. In a trade publication I saw a paper on which my ex was a co author a while back. Thought nothing of it. I have since seen a total of three such publications referenced, one so fresh it hasn't even been fully published yet, the institution being a teaching medical facility near where I live. (By the by I teach at another such institution...small world.) In fact I was born at that particular hospital. Could be old work just now making it out of embargo but still... When we were together a mutual friend informed her of an opportunity and at the time she did not seem enthused by traveling out to the area I live in. Nobody from that part of town is. It has an exaggerated reputation for crime. It's a ride to the end of a commuter train line...and then a bus ride. Not far by car but still... She could have worked anywhere in the world. She has the credentials. Of all the places around the corner and down the street. I could bump into her while just trying to get a Whopper or a big mac. If this were all reversed and I did likewise I'd be in danger of being called a stalker. We broke up in part because we both knew the odds were we'd end up working thousands of miles apart. With only one exception everyone who graduated from that school had to move to another coast to find a job. Now she's as close as possible to me. I'm not asking what it means. I know it means nothing just another one of the long line of coincidences that mark this relationship. My thinking brain knows this...my heart says it could be fate. Talk some sense to my thinking brain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Does she know where you live? How long are you NC? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 Does she know where you live? How long are you NC? She knows where I live. We talked about the town I grew up in (how it kinda rhymed with her name) and how to get here by public transit and by car. We talked about all of that. Likewise I knew that stuff about her. This would be like if I got a job at a particular hot dog stand we would walk to together. Not right at her door step but still close enough to raise and eye brow over. NC: After the break we both contacted eachother intermittently for a few months. Then went total NC for a year... then she started reaching out to me again. I'll be NC until she reaches out in a more concrete way. Yet when I respond she'll withdraw again. I tried to be NC again but I had to take one last stab and now we are connected on a social media site. Not FB or twitter but one where there's a pic of me listed as one of a very few people she interacts with at all there. My brain says it's just a coincidence like so many other things about us. My heart wants it to be fate, to be romance. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I could bump into her while just trying to get a Whopper or a big mac. Don't get Whoppers or Big Macs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Don't get Whoppers or Big Macs. Or at least get them elsewhere. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 Or at least get them elsewhere. Easier said. Many of the places that my family gets food are right around there. I'd also have to avoid taking public transit from now until eternity. (I haven't taken it but my car is on its last legs). ... No I'm not going to avoid places I've gone for 30+ years because of this. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Easier said. Many of the places that my family gets food are right around there. I'd also have to avoid taking public transit from now until eternity. (I haven't taken it but my car is on its last legs). ... No I'm not going to avoid places I've gone for 30+ years because of this.[trans] God, I'm dying to bump into her...what will I say? how will I feel? Giddy-giddy-gumdrops~ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 [trans] God, I'm dying to bump into her...what will I say? how will I feel? Giddy-giddy-gumdrops~ No translation this is my turf hers is in a city 1000 miles away! Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Gibbs Rule #39: There is no such thing as a coincidence. [The World is not small]. Yas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 Gibbs Rule #39: There is no such thing as a coincidence. [The World is not small]. Yas Rule 18: "It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission." Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Rule 18: "It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission." Gibbs Rule #51: Sometimes you're wrong. (I think that might be one of the most important rules). Yas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 Interesting note. The research she has done relates to an issue that we were surprised to find out was not effecting my father, a form of cancer. She has spent the last couple years working on that. Wow. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Interesting note. The research she has done relates to an issue that we were surprised to find out was not effecting my father, a form of cancer. She has spent the last couple years working on that. Wow. I see at least three more of Gibbs Rules that could be applied in combination for further investigation, contemplation, and interpretation of this interesting situation - especially, in light of the newest revelation. You first. [i named the most obvious one already]. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 I see at least three more of Gibbs Rules that could be applied in combination for further investigation, contemplation, and interpretation of this interesting situation - especially, in light of the newest revelation. You first. [i named the most obvious one already]. Yas No duh. That can't be a total coincidence. But it does not mean she wants a relationship....we did make a big impression on her. If it means any thing...it is an affirmation that what we had really meant something to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 No duh. That can't be a total coincidence. But it does not mean she wants a relationship....we did make a big impression on her. If it means any thing...it is an affirmation that what we had really meant something to her. Right, I totally agreed with Rule #39 completely, exactly. No such thing as a coincidence! She is there on purpose. Of all the towns in the world, she ends up finding a job in your town. Right. She wants to be near you. She is not randomly researching the medical topic earlier related to your father. No way. She knew you would eventually see her work in the literature base. Duh. It is a way to remain psychologically connected to you and your loved ones via intellectual proxy. Yeah, she has had her mind on YOU for an extended period of time, and been making plans for quite awhile. It is all coming together now. You don't need to worry about running into her. She is going to "run into you," that is the next event to unfold, I promise you. Leave it to her. In the meantime: Rule #5: You don't waste good. [That is, if it is good - see note]. Rule #8: Never take anything for granted. Rule #35: Always watch the watchers. Note: Other Gibbs Rules, (as well as NC), may critically apply depending on how she treated you during the original relationship that ended. Yas PS Sorry, my other other post must not have been clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 . In the meantime: Rule #5: You don't waste good. [That is, if it is good - see note]. Rule #8: Never take anything for granted. Rule #35: Always watch the watchers. Note: Other Gibbs Rules, (as well as NC), may critically apply depending on how she treated you during the original relationship that ended. Yas PS Sorry, my other other post must not have been clear. Yeah but do I want relationship advice from a guy who's been divorced as many times as him? lol. In reality no one is all good all the time and no one is all bad all the time. Nor can I take for granted she wants something to do with me or not. The watchers of this being the people we both know. It is not a big community that does what we do so there is like one degree of separation. When I have interacted with them the interactions have been positive to neutral. All I can do right now is be NC/LC at least for a while for some months. I need to think about myself and my life as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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