truncated Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 If you have been married a long time ( more than 15 years) what are some of the little things that you do to show your spouse you care? Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I get up before him 5-6 days a week and cook him breakfast which I serve to him in bed with a glass of oj and a vitamin. I also lay out his clothes, get his boots cleaned, make and pack his lunch. I also braid his hair. It's longish, so that's partially a safety issue and partially because he likes how it looks neat and tidy. I listen to and laugh at the same old stories and jokes. I massage him whenever he asks or I notice he is moving like he's sore and stiff. I listen to him whenever he needs to talk. Even when I could/should/want to be doing something else. I send him memes and loving or funny messages via text at least once a day. I tell him often how attractive and wonderful he is and how much I like his wit, humor, heart, mind, and body at least once a day, usually more. And I give him an occasional verbal butt kicking when he needs it! ETA: We've been married 12 years, but have been a couple for 15.5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Carson Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I get up before him 5-6 days a week and cook him breakfast which I serve to him in bed with a glass of oj and a vitamin. I also lay out his clothes, get his boots cleaned, make and pack his lunch. I also braid his hair. It's longish, so that's partially a safety issue and partially because he likes how it looks neat and tidy. I listen to and laugh at the same old stories and jokes. I massage him whenever he asks or I notice he is moving like he's sore and stiff. I listen to him whenever he needs to talk. Even when I could/should/want to be doing something else. I send him memes and loving or funny messages via text at least once a day. I tell him often how attractive and wonderful he is and how much I like his wit, humor, heart, mind, and body at least once a day, usually more. And I give him an occasional verbal butt kicking when he needs it! ETA: We've been married 12 years, but have been a couple for 15.5 years. You my dear lady are one fine woman, and your hubby is a lucky man, it's nice to hear makes me Link to post Share on other sites
Syberia Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 (edited) I've only been married 5 years, together for 9. Our work schedules are terrible right now so we barely get to see each other except one day a week when we're both off. One thing I've always done is to go meet her on her lunch break and go somewhere for lunch together. Sometimes when I'm leaving and she goes back to work, I'll get her a little gift from somewhere and leave it in her car where she'll see it when she gets off. Not every time, I try to do it just enough to where it remains a surprise. We hold hands/cuddle/kiss all the time, both at home and when we're out. We probably say I love you at least 10 times a day, it's become the default thing to say to each other when there's nothing else to talk about. I'll send her little texts, sometimes just a "<3" throughout the day when she crosses my mind. That's all I can think of off the top of my head, though I'm sure there's more. Edited May 19, 2015 by Syberia Link to post Share on other sites
catapult88 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Well, I'm not at 15, but I'm coming up on 11 years and we've been together over 16 years. Similar to Syberia, for the past several months, we've reconnected well with having a weekly lunch date. She is off on Mondays and the kids are in school, so a few months ago I asked her to lunch. She was through the roof and we've done it almost every week since. It feels different than a typical date night, for some reason it really feels like just our own time to be together. Also, I started buying flowers once a week. Nothing big, little $3-$5 bunches, but she still is appreciating that. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 40 plus years..... Date night, every Friday, or if anther night if works out. SEX. Know too many couples, that have allowed that to die off. Not every night, but there is the possibility of Sex every night. We average 2 to 3 time a week. Giving he the space to have her own hobbies and friends. She letting me have mine. Asking each other, how their day went, and listening to what ever comes out. Setting down to dinner together, each night. 334358 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I don't know if I can make a list. The care is in daily interactions, smiles, hugs, random touches, holding hands, etc. We touch a lot. I think that your face should light up when your spouse enters the room, and I try to remember to live that. I ask about his day and take an interest in his news. I make sure he has time for his hobbies, and naps (he's napping right now ). Sex. Lots of sex. We reach for each other every night, although it doesn't escalate to sex every night. We've been married over 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Syberia Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 SEX. Know too many couples, that have allowed that to die off. Not every night, but there is the possibility of Sex every night. We average 2 to 3 time a week. That's where we went wrong. For a couple years, we let it go down to once a month or less. The connection we have now that we are back to having regular sex is so much stronger than when we were hardly doing it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 yeah, if you are not having sex at least 3 times a week, even as an old fart...there is something to fix! It does not have to be PIV sex every time, but there should be a strong sexual thread running thru the marriage forever. The key is to find out what the other partner likes, and give that to them...at least 3 times a day. Like if wife likes small acts of romance...bring her coffee in the morning, pick a flower from the garden for her...etc. those little things keep HER thinking of YOU in a positive way. and for him? does he beg you to wear lingerie, and you never do? just surprise him wearing something hot while he is watching tv tonight. grab his butt next time you are grocery shopping, flash him your breasts when no one else can see, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 spanz1 "yeah, if you are not having sex at least 3 times a week, even as an old fart...there is something to fix! It does not have to be PIV sex every time, but there should be a strong sexual thread running thru the marriage forever. The key is to find out what the other partner likes, and give that to them...at least 3 times a day. Like if wife likes small acts of romance...bring her coffee in the morning, pick a flower from the garden for her...etc. those little things keep HER thinking of YOU in a positive way. and for him? does he beg you to wear lingerie, and you never do? just surprise him wearing something hot while he is watching tv tonight. grab his butt next time you are grocery shopping, flash him your breasts when no one else can see, etc." Always treat your spouse as a desirable sexual being. Never let them forget that you want to have sex with them and look forward to it. 330332 Link to post Share on other sites
Author truncated Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 I've found that it's the little things that you do each day that you don't even notice that can make a huge difference. Little kindnesses that show you care. things like my husband is always happy that i make sure to put out his next day's uniform for him, and make home made iced cappuccino for him on hot days, hot coffee for when he gets home on cold days, and have a bath run for him, etc. he's also mentioned how glad he is that I've been willing to be dragged around all over hell's half acre every time he gets posted somewhere new. Hopefully, that won't happen again for a while now. Something else he told me re really appreciated was how , when he got back form his last deployment and was having some trouble I bought him a set for doing sumi-e . He's always enjoyed paintings done in that style, and I thought he'd find making his own to be relaxing and calming for his mind. It was, and he got really good at it and has even sold several pieces. From what he's told me, giving him the support and encouragement and space to do something like that meant a lot to him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bebe23 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I would mention the little things like cooking dinner, making him a sammich when he has to grab a bite and go, give him a call or text, but what he REALLY appreciates is a little thing with the same initials as Bo Jangles. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Carson Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I try not to complain when she asks me to do something for her I just go and do it this is a big one. Since we both work full time I make sure the kitchen is spotless, and pickup all the dishes and glasses the two other grown people in our house can't seem to do. Our son can make a hook shot from outside the paint but couldn't throw a glass in the dishwasher if he was standing on the open door! I would help with the laundry but I've been banished form the laundry room since I turned her favorite sweater into a size T1, 20 years ago. Also I pay for a house keeper once a week, another big one. I just sent her a text ''I forgot to tell you how pretty you looked at lunch to day'' Link to post Share on other sites
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