Lola2609 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 (edited) So I had a fight or discussion with the guy I am seeing about this girl. He used to have feelings for her (he told me that) but I suspect he still does. They are close friends and they hang out sometime.The guy I am seeing helped her with a big big problem (almost life changing thing). She has a bf btw. Anyway, while talking about her he said something like this (referring to what he did for her) " I was happy to help her and more". That "more" part keeps bugging me. What does that even mean? I don't think they were ever together as she has had the same bf for years. Edited May 19, 2015 by Lola2609 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Without knowing how he helped her I would say he meant the "and more" to mean he would have done even more than what he did to help her if she needed it. I wouldn't read anything more into it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 He's all into her. She probably doesn't feel the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Why didn't you just ask him when he said it what he meant? I agree with others that it means he was happy to do that for her and anything else she asks him to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 Well, we were texting, I was upset, he was little drunk and there were texts back and forth and I didnt really pay attention to that one word as we texted. It is only later that I realized what he said. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 See Mrin's response - I agree with him totally. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 more means.. he would gladly be of service to her .. anytime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 So, I get it means, "I helped her and would have help even more if necessary". Gosh, it sounds to me like he still has feelings forvher. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Hey Lola, if he wanted to tell you about something else that happened he would tell you. Alternatively, if he wanted to hide something he would as well. Therefore, assume that he did not meant to say anything. However, be realistic and ask yourself how many innocent relationships between men and women, especially with that kind of history, do you know.. Hey Jonathan, I asked him about her. He keeps telling me there is nothing between them (I know that, I know she has been in this relationship for 5-6 years). She was in this relationship even when he was helping her and when he developed feelings for her. (2 years ago) They ARE friends but I wouldnt like to be with someone who has feelings for someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 Thanks Jonathan, Well that approach would be impossible as he has been friends with her for long time now. About 7 years. I met him 2 years ago. When I met him, he told be right away about the situation he is in (helping her). As I understood, when he met her, she had the current boyfriend (I guess my bf developed the feelings anyway but it was only one sided). After three years of their friendship, she asked him for help and he accepted. I recently asked him if he has any feelings for her and he didnt give me yes/no answer (red flag). He said "she is an old friend. I have some feelings for my friends, for some I would do a lot, for others I wont bother pick up the phone." I dropped the subject for a while and recently confronted him again. He said that I am crazy and that he used to have feelings for her but now he has for me. I dont know what to think. He sometimes hangs out with her and her friends or with her and her bf and the bf seems not to be jealous at all. I dont want to be jealous but little things like this text drive me crazy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 ***shocker alert****, i have much regard and feelings for the gentlemen and ladies whom I call friends! Silly me, its something us friends emulate in our regards. We also have clear supportive lines. So shocker---- we do not insult or assume that we want anything romantic or intimate to transpire. yes, I get it that the younger generation has a harder time understanding what true regard and respect is.., overall i will hope that your concern is more in your mind and less about the human capability that ppl can care about others ....gender be damned. Please restore my faith that you are simply trying to process that guys can be kind in general to friends. Link to post Share on other sites
isRaven Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I think the meaning is just: I will help her as long as I can, especially she's my close friend. Fyi, I had a big crush toward my childhood friend. She rejected me and got a boyfriend afterwards. Now I have zero feeling for her, but whenever she needs help, I will gladly help her. I even know her boyfriend. So it's not 100% true that if you help your ex-crush, it means you still have a feeling toward them. People change and everyone is different. But anyway, go ask him. Don't have any regret. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 I think the meaning is just: I will help her as long as I can, especially she's my close friend. Fyi, I had a big crush toward my childhood friend. She rejected me and got a boyfriend afterwards. Now I have zero feeling for her, but whenever she needs help, I will gladly help her. I even know her boyfriend. So it's not 100% true that if you help your ex-crush, it means you still have a feeling toward them. People change and everyone is different. But anyway, go ask him. Don't have any regret. Good luck. I did ask and his ambiguous answer made me nervous. I mean he did say he has some feelings as she is his friend blagh blah but was it so difficult to be more clear. For example, romantic feelings no, feelings as for a friend yes. That is all I asked for. He keeps saying there is nothing between us. That is not my question. There is abother reason I am being paranoid. At the very beginning, when we started dating he drank little too much and he said something like this: there is something on my part for her but I know what the reality is. I wished him all the best and goodbye but then he said that I misunderstood, that it is not like that blah blah.... Link to post Share on other sites
isRaven Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Perhaps, it's a just a love for a friend. Who knows? Since they're close friends. But then again, I suggest you to say everything that you've been thinking about him and that girl. Say that you don't like them being together because you think that he still has a feeling for her. Also explain the examples. I'm currently single now, but later if I have a girlfriend, she will be my priority. If she doesn't like me being too kind to my friend, of course I won't. I'm going to marry her, not other girl. Do not burden your heart. Okay? Link to post Share on other sites
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