Adlih Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 My boyfriend knows I had casual sex with someone he knows. This guy has a terrible reputation, he does it with whatever chick he can. Honestly, the day it happened with between us, I wasn't expecting it. I did not enjoy the experience. I hated myself afterwards because I knew he had just tried to use me. I'm not into that type of relationships. I managed pretty well to get over the whole experience. Save my dignity and stop judging myself. I remember telling my boyfriend about when we were just friends and he didn't really make much of it. Then after a few months after being in our relationship it came up again and he got really jealous. He says it reminds him of his first marriage and he can't get that image out of his mind. He says he doesn't love me less or that he doesn't think less of me, he keeps saying it's a man thing. I would like him to get into his head that there is no point of comparison between him and this other guy. No way, it's not ever happening in this life time! My boyfriend has made me feel so fullfilled and so many aspects. From our sex life to who he is as a man, what he is to me is just so incredible. I am enterily commiited to our relationship and obiovusly to him. I truly love him. I never loved the other guy, he just caught me off guard that one time and wasn't even going out with my boyfriend. So, my real deal is that I want to find a way to help my boyfriend to get that image out of his head. I feel I've showed him how much I love him and I am willing to continue doing so. I am wiling to do my part, or is it just something he needs to do on his own? I don't want this to be in the way because it's not even worth it. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 You can't fix that for him. If he really can't move beyond it, some therapy might help. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Next time, don't tell a guy you're seeing something about you and/or your past unless it is affecting your current RL (ie an STD, drug addiction)...cuz all you do is burden that person with useless info. I'm still here scratching my head trying to figure out why you're telling people who you had casual sex with. I don't even tell my closest gfs half of what I do with guys. Also, as much as people wanna say women can sleep around and guys want sex as part of each "relationship" they have when they darn well know it's not gonna result in marriage, guys are hypocrites and will slutttt shame women even if she had sex with "one" guy before him (casual or not). While I think its unhealthy for this guy to keep on bringing this up, maybe it's still an issue for him that you did a casual thing with a jerk. In dating (unless you are just looking for "companionship") we are looking for a "match"...That entails evaluating their character, morals, values. Maybe he has issue with people's morals/values/etc - who engage in casual sex, like you did. He may also question your judgment cuz per your post, seems like you just opened up your legs and don't even know why. How could he trust you wouldn't do something so flippant like that again? When I open up my legs...I'm doing it for a reason 3 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 This happened before you were dating. It's his issue. He needs to grow up. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Slap him. Seriously. Well I guess not seriously, bc that would be assault, but sth like that is what he needs to snap out of it. A stern talking to seems like a poor substitute, but that might be your only alternative (unless he agrees to getting slapped ). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 It isn't a man thing. That is a cope out excuse. It is a "him" thing and he is being irrational and immature. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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