Author GoBomb36 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 She once again told me she was confused and needed time to figure everything out. It's so dang hard to not want to talk to her. I wish it weren't so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 As everyone else has mentioned, stay NC. If she isn't sure, then she isn't worth your time. She had time to think about things, now its your turn. Sit back, relax...don't wait up for her. Her uncertainty is holding you back in life. Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She once again told me she was confused and needed time to figure everything out. It's so dang hard to not want to talk to her. I wish it weren't so hard. You need to approach your days as if talking to her is no longer an option. Block every means at your disposal of doing so until you are no longer tempted to talk to her all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Guys, I was weak. Broke NC after only two days. Feel even worse. Now what do I do? I want to do whatever it takes to get this relationship back. I am really confused about your back-story and maybe I am missing something. Did you break up, or are you just taking some time apart from living together to sort things out? Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She once again told me she was confused and needed time to figure everything out. It's so dang hard to not want to talk to her. I wish it weren't so hard. You're making it MUCH harder by continuing to contact her..! Leave her alone. Why are you longing for someone who DOESN'T want you? If she loved you or wanted you, she'd be with you.. Plain and simple. If you ever want another chance (though you shouldn't), here's what you need to do- * Vanish from her life. Block her on everything. Don't speak with her "if" she happened to contact you. * Move on with your life and be happy in your own company. * Find someone else to spend time with. Yes, you may not be ready but there's nothing wrong with casually dating someone new. Just be honest w/them up front. If the ex "happens" to see you with her or hears about it, this will REALLY reinforce how she thinks about you. She may say "thank goodness, he's moved on" or she could say "OMG, I could loose him forever".. Either way, MOVE ON WITH YOUR life and leave her alone. You may just fall for someone else and have the please of telling her to drop dead if she came back for another chance.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoBomb36 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 I guess we've broken up. We had some rocky roads, and I tried to fix it last week. She told me she was confused and need some time to figure everything out. Nothing bad happened between us, but that honeymoon phase passed. Today she told me she didn't know what she wanted and was confused. I told her ok and that she knew my stance. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I guess we've broken up. We had some rocky roads, and I tried to fix it last week. She told me she was confused and need some time to figure everything out. Nothing bad happened between us, but that honeymoon phase passed. Today she told me she didn't know what she wanted and was confused. I told her ok and that she knew my stance. ? I'm sorry but I don't quite understand.. Weren't you guys already broken up? And if you weren't, are you saying that you just broke it off with her after she said she was confused? Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I guess we've broken up. We had some rocky roads, and I tried to fix it last week. She told me she was confused and need some time to figure everything out. Nothing bad happened between us, but that honeymoon phase passed. Today she told me she didn't know what she wanted and was confused. I told her ok and that she knew my stance. I think you need to figure out of you have broken up, period, or if you are taking a break. Those are two different scenarios that need to be handled differently. If you broke up, then NC, absolutely. You've told her how you feel and where you stand. Nothing short of her coming back and saying she wants to work it out should break that NC rule. If you are taking time, then you need to set rules between yourselves. Is it okay to date other people while you're taking this break? How long are you going to separate? Is it okay to contact each other during this time? I would suggest no, for any reason, because the time being taken is personal. Each person has to agree with and respect all the rules. In order for it to be a break-up, one or the other has to officially end the relationship. It doesn't sound like this has happened yet, so first things first. Figure out what transpired. There shouldn't be a guessing to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoBomb36 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Ok, that makes sense. I took her saying that she needed time and space meant that we were apart. That's what I'm going with. I just want to do whatever is best for me to increase the chances of being with her again, so if NC is the best option, please do tell. I know you guys don't know the entire story, but she and I had a great relationship. Our demanding jobs got in the way because she works night shift at the hospital and I am a teacher and coach. I think this can be fixed, so I want to do whatever can increase those chances. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Ok, that makes sense. I took her saying that she needed time and space meant that we were apart. That's what I'm going with. I just want to do whatever is best for me to increase the chances of being with her again, so if NC is the best option, please do tell. I know you guys don't know the entire story, but she and I had a great relationship. Our demanding jobs got in the way because she works night shift at the hospital and I am a teacher and coach. I think this can be fixed, so I want to do whatever can increase those chances. My friend, you're NOT listening to any of the advice from the people who've been through this. YOU need to take charge of this situation. Stop the contact with her. If you HAVE TO, let her know your moving on and will have no further contact with her. I wouldn't. I'd move on and vanish from her life while NOT having any contact. You clinging to hope that you MAY have another shot with someone who doesn't want you is NOT going to help you to heal and move forward. Your mind set should be "she's gone from my life for good like she died and I have to move forward". If you could manage to stay away and have no contact for a couple of months, your head may clear and you MIGHT say, yea, that relationship wasn't working and this is the best for us both. Link to post Share on other sites
y2k Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Ok, that makes sense. I took her saying that she needed time and space meant that we were apart. That's what I'm going with. I just want to do whatever is best for me to increase the chances of being with her again, so if NC is the best option, please do tell. I know you guys don't know the entire story, but she and I had a great relationship. Our demanding jobs got in the way because she works night shift at the hospital and I am a teacher and coach. I think this can be fixed, so I want to do whatever can increase those chances. You want the best chances to be with her again??? Stop communicating to her. I am going through something similar. Girl broke up with me 2 months ago (1 year relationship, very intense, she wanted kids, I hurt her without realizing it). When she sent me a text saying "it's best we don't speak anymore", I responded back "ok", and nothing more. Needless to say, it sent her crazy. A month later she contacted me again, and we were talking. The bad news is that for those weeks we were texting and talking, she found another guy. Then she sent me a text indirectly implying that she doesn't need me in her life (she didn't know that I knew about her new guy....she hid him from me). Then I told her my position, and told her I'm moving on with my life, and I walked away and MEANT IT. A week and a half later, I find out she broke it off with the new guy, and I happened to find out that she is depressed, and she will most likely contact me within the next week or so. She'll probably be back with me soon enough. THAT'S the way you go about it with the BEST chance to get her back. Indifference to the situation and the outcome, showing NO weakness (no begging....no "baby I need you in my life, no arguing with her when she tells you it's over, etc), and walking away and meaning it. With MANY women, this will make them crave you again, because it puts pressure on any new guy to have such balls and confidence, and it displays to women that you are a superior man. It also communicates to a woman that they can be safe with you. Link to post Share on other sites
forumman83 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Ok, that makes sense. I took her saying that she needed time and space meant that we were apart. That's what I'm going with. I just want to do whatever is best for me to increase the chances of being with her again, so if NC is the best option, please do tell. I know you guys don't know the entire story, but she and I had a great relationship. Our demanding jobs got in the way because she works night shift at the hospital and I am a teacher and coach. I think this can be fixed, so I want to do whatever can increase those chances. Regardless of the how great the relationship was during the honeymoon stage, a period of NC MUST be implemented. This is for numerous reasons. 1. You must take time apart to clear your head 2. You must evaluate yourself and where you need to grow in order to maintain a mature, positive relationship 3. She has to start to miss you 4. If you don't, you will continue pushing the same buttons for each other and dig yourself a deeper and deeper hole. Tell her you are sorry and you know you're not in the right frame of mind. You want to take a month apart and evaluate things. You still love her and care about her and you don't want to see other people, but you think its for the best. Then DO IT. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoBomb36 Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 Thanks so much guys. It feels nice knowing I can get quality advice. I've decided on NC, and I've taken measures to make sure I can maintain it. I've been unsuccessful in the past. I am assuming distance is the key here? I was told by her that she didn't not know what the future held, so she would not count out us getting back together in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Doesn't mean anything, she's just saying this to soften the blow. This literally means NOTHING. It's a complete cop out and you shouldn't spend another second of your time thinking about it in any form. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
y2k Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Doesn't mean anything, she's just saying this to soften the blow. This literally means NOTHING. It's a complete cop out and you shouldn't spend another second of your time thinking about it in any form. I agree. Women make up such Bull when breaking up with someone. Don't ever listen to a woman's words during a break up. It is meaningless. Women change their minds ALL the time. They almost always go back on their words. Her words don't mean anything good, or anything bad. It just means nothing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Agreed with ^ and ^^ . Link to post Share on other sites
y2k Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Agreed with ^ and ^^ . The girl that broke up with me two-three months ago stated that she never saw me as a real boyfriend (before the breakup, she wanted my children....then I hurt her which is what caused my mess), that she only wants to be friends, etc etc. I walked away not taking her crap. She got a rebound.....it lasted only 10 days, and now she is little by little orbiting herself back into my orbit. Women speak in code. Breakups are a bad sign, but it is really a test to see how a man really is. If a man turns into a wimp, the woman will know that she made the right choice. If the man stays strong and displays strength, the woman may just reverse her decision (that is unless she found someone way better which usually does not happen if the original relationship was significant and at least 8 months and more). I learned to not take what woman say literally. There are VERY few women who say what they mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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