Maymay12 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I really need your advices , so me and boyfriend we've been dating for almost two years and everything was very good between us until up to 2 days ago . Something happened in his family and he shuts me out and not talking to me much . He said he needs space from everyone. He doesn't want to tell me what happened and I respect it and I'm not asking him but he told me that whatever happened will change him and he will not be the same person . I told him I respect his decision and I give him his space and I also told him I don't want to know what happened , and whatever it is he's going through, I want to be there for him and help him but he's not letting me . He shuts me out and he's not talking to me . I check on him in the morning before I head to work , but what I don't understand is , why wouldn't he let me be there for him ? Doesn't spending time with me would make him feel better ? Please help me , I don't know what to do , I'm very worried about him. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Not everyone feels better when they hang out with people they love. Especially if something is going on. It's nothing against you, it's just that your boyfriend is probably processing stuff and many people don't like to pull loved ones into whatever they are processing. Don't bug him about it, that will only make it worse. Whatever it is, let him process it in peace and don't expect him to feel better when your around just because if it were you, you'd feel better if he was around. It sounds like he deals with and processes things differently than you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Some people need to withdraw into themselves when they are hurt. Let him do that for now. He knows you care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maymay12 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 I don't get to see him much and we usually see each other every Wednesday , should I be concern if he doesn't come today? He haven't said anything today to me . Should I let him be? Or check up on him if he's okay Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Guys aren't chicks. They don't need to sit and cry with their friends and hash everything out. That's what girlfriends do. Guys retreat into their and work things out on their own. He said he needed space so give it to him. Listen if he wants to talk about it. Go on about your business as usual if he doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If something so bad happened in his family that he can't or won't talk about it, i would assume you are not seeing him today. You need to be OK with that. Even after 2 years he may not be emotionally ready to bring you into private family matters & that's OK because you are not family. I had been with my EX for about 6-7 years when I series of deaths in the family necessitated a restructuring of certain family businesses. I was excluded from every discussion. My BF told in general -- we own XYZ buisness & we're talking about the restructure -- but until the new president was announced I didn't know anything else, nor was I entitled to. I wasn't a family member & I did not have an ownership interest in the company. Not everything in a person's life has to be discussed with everyone else. Back off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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