Author depressed17 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 Do you work? Do you have a way to access money? You could move and request child support (possibly support for you too) - if you file with the courts. Then get moving forward to become happy on your own. Since you are so unhappy, it may be best to be on your own so you have a chance to find happiness. I do not have a job and he support me and the children.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author depressed17 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 just having the title of "being married" won't fix your problems in your relationship. Have you examined why YOU want to get married in the first place? Or why you want to marry him? I think you need to examine yourself and your own intentions first. What does having the label of marriage do for you, your kids, and him? He says the same thing but My children are living a fake illusion of a married family, they are being denied their dad last name to pass down to their children and so on, they can not and will not be able to trace their family history in the future, plus I as an individual feel that I at least deserve to be married after investing all of my late teens, all of my 20s and working on my 30s. I need appreciation and something meaningful...The last time we been anywhere together as a couple, was when we first met, my life, love, devotion, and time been with this man I have been with him the same amount of that I have been with my family...... I get no romance, no intimate affection : romance, kissing, hugging, pussy licking, compliments ....in fact I get the very opposite. And I am scared........ however I must say he is great with his kids, being there for them and being their hero..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author depressed17 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 Marriage isn't a guarantee that you're going to get sex, romance, attention or affection. What marriage does is amplify issue you're already facing. And if he's not coming to you of his own volition wanting to marry you, do you really want him--someone that you've had to beg, plead and cajole into marrying you? I get that you want the legal protections of marriage, but you need to understand that this man has told you--and has lived his life to buttress what he's told you--that he has no intention on marrying you. He has absolutely no good reason to marry you: he already gets sex if he wants it; his house is cleaned; he's gotten you to bear 4 of his children (the 1st one, ok--but the other 3 without you getting what you wanted first?). Things are going the way he wants them to go--why would he change that if it's working for him? You're not going to get the title of Mrs. Him with this man you're choosing to waste time with... and ever since you found out he doesn't want to marry you, you've been wasting your youth, investing in a fantasy that will never become reality. Don't make it 18 years that you're still in the same predicament doing the same thing, wishing for a different outcome. To answer your question: you're wrong if you think that this man is going to flip into someone he's told you and shown you that he has no intention on being. It's not like you don't know. It then becomes a matter of you being too lazy to do what is in your best interests. It's time for you to start with the "divorcee's revenge": reclaiming your self, your health and your youth. Stop abandoning yourself. You've taught him that that is ok to do it to you because you've being doing it to yourself. I truly appreciate your feedback, its true and that is why I am disappointed , depressed and begining to think, i was young nieve and scary. ....I thought that one day he would marrie me... now I feel stupid and played for stupid ..... and do not know what to do, how to do it, cause i am so use to counting on him... I do not want to make the wrong decision but at the same time i do not want to be with someone who do not feel the need to marry me, after everything and all of the time we share together, i am not perfect but who is??? now that i know how he feel it has changed my thoughts and how i feel and even my behavior. .........."people always seem to notice when you change but not the behavior that caused you to change " -unknown Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Sadly op, I think you have put yourself in a lose-lose situation. Even if he accepts to marry you, you will marry to someone who doesn't care about your needs and resents you for forcing him to marry you. If you want to get married that bad... would it matter if you married someone else, someone who actually appreciates you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) depressed17, You need to take charge of this situation. How old are your children? You need to get some skills to get into the job market. Can you start exploring that avenue? Good luck. x Edited June 29, 2015 by Arieswoman spelling 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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