JiltedJane Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I was in a 5 year relationship with someone who I had been friends with for 10 years. I ended it because after 5 yrs he told me that he always knew he would never marry me and was keeping me around until "someone better for him" came along. I then spend the next 2.5 yrs in an incredibly abusive relationship on every level. I've been single for over a year now. Have gone out with 11 different guys, and asked out by several more. Four of these eleven guys I've been on 4+ dates with before they ghost or do the slow fade. All of them have made it seem like we had potenital. The other 7, either I wasn't feeling it or they had a problem with my age (I'm 30, and these men wanted someone still in their 20s), or they don't want marriage/kids. I want to make it clear that I am not clingy or bring up marriage/babies. I play it cool/aloof. If these topics come up, I say how i feel about them but don't push for anything too soon. Why am I meeting all these ****ty/dishonest men? I feel like the universe is punishing me for something... Link to post Share on other sites
davidromero43 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 It's you. You are choosing them. You are finding the same qualities in eachm that you end up disliking. Maybe a dating site will help you break that cycle. It is kind of like going to a buffet. Your favorite food is pizza. But you see the enchiladas. The enchiladas look good right now, so you get them. After you eat them you think that you really would have liked pizza. But now you are full, and have a stomach ache. Leave the enchiladas alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Have you worked on yourself since leaving the abusive relationship? Did you get into some DV counseling? You probably have serious issues around boundaries and not really sure what qualities to look for in a man. I would suggest you take some serious time to heal from your previous failed relationships and not focus so much on a new man. Link to post Share on other sites
Torii Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Have you worked on yourself since leaving the abusive relationship? Did you get into some DV counseling? You probably have serious issues around boundaries and not really sure what qualities to look for in a man. I would suggest you take some serious time to heal from your previous failed relationships and not focus so much on a new man. I agree. Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and this can cause some serious issues later down the road. I would suggest that you look after you, don't worry so much about finding a partner to help you feel better - make yourself feel better; love yourself for all you are. Link to post Share on other sites
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