ing Boyfriend Once He's Out Of Jail

[PersonaPersona]

My boyfriend was put in jail for traffic violations (getting into an accident and not having insurance) and we are a long distance relationship for the time being as he is in Georgia and I am in New Jersey. I have talked to him a couple of times on the phone since–all being short phone calls.

 

What makes me worried is that he does not sound like himself, and I am eating myself up inside trying to figure out how he's feeling, I just hate that I cannot be there for him. I have started a day-by-day journal and a blog filled with pictures, both which I will show him after he gets out. Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do for him when he gets out? To help him adjust?

[jen1447]

Was it manslaughter or did he seriously injure someone? People don't usually go to jail for operating without insurance and getting in an accident without injuries/death. They will pay lots of fines tho. But you're talking like he's in prison doing hard time, not just the county jail. Even if he got a jail sentence for something like that it would almost certainly be 93 days in county or something along those lines.

 

I know that doesn't answer your question but ....um, are you sure he's in jail?

[I_Give_Up67]

Was it manslaughter or did he seriously injure someone? People don't usually go to jail for operating without insurance and getting in an accident without injuries/death. They will pay lots of fines tho. But you're talking like he's in prison doing hard time, not just the county jail. Even if he got a jail sentence for something like that it would almost certainly be 93 days in county or something along those lines.

 

I know that doesn't answer your question but ....um, are you sure he's in jail?

 

 

They do in Georgia, Jen. They have some jacked up punishments for traffic violations, especially lack of insurance.

[PersonaPersona]

They do in Georgia, Jen. They have some jacked up punishments for traffic violations, especially lack of insurance.

 

Yup, County Jail. He didn't injure anyone, it was just an accident with a few scuffs and broken car pieces. But yes, he got jail time for that. He isn't in prison.

[jen1447]

Ok, but prison? OP didn't say that explicitly but she referred to "when he gets out" and adjusting, like it's some major thing. Most people can do a stint in jail without major turmoil, it's the prison people who change.

 

edit -

Sorry - above was in response to IGU67.

 

Jail shouldn't be a big deal for him hon.

[PersonaPersona]

Ok, but prison? OP didn't say that explicitly but she referred to "when he gets out" and adjusting, like it's some major thing. Most people can do a stint in jail without major turmoil, it's the prison people who change.

 

edit -

Sorry - above was in response to IGU67.

 

Jail shouldn't be a big deal for him hon.

 

No worries, all I'm saying is that county jail isn't exactly a breeze and everyone handles it differently! He's looking at getting out at the end of June, and I want to be there for him the best I can.

 

I know if I went, I would be miserable and come out a little shaken, even if it is a month– but that's just me.

[I_Give_Up67]

One thing that you can continue to do for him, although very expensive, is keep accepting his phone calls. Just having someone to talk to outside of the jailhouse, will keep his spirits up.

 

Also if you can afford it, send him some canteen money so he can buy real snacks and food during his stay. It's almost as bad for the loved ones on the outside, as it is for the person incarcerated. Just continue to be there for him, as you are now.

[PersonaPersona]

One thing that you can continue to do for him, although very expensive, is keep accepting his phone calls. Just having someone to talk to outside of the jailhouse, will keep his spirits up.

 

Also if you can afford it, send him some canteen money so he can buy real snacks and food during his stay. It's almost as bad for the loved ones on the outside, as it is for the person incarcerated. Just continue to be there for him, as you are now.

 

They are expensive, but that doesn't matter when I get to talk to him after days of silence.

[d0nnivain]

You seem to be doing a lot. Can you fly down there when he's released?

[PersonaPersona]

You seem to be doing a lot. Can you fly down there when he's released?

 

Yeah, I plan on taking a bus down there once he is out.

[justwhoiam]

Sorry guys, but - as a foreigner - I really have a hard time seeing the difference jail/prison. I mean you're still in a small cell, with bars and an exposed toilet bowl... Sure one month is more acceptable than 10 years, but I guess you'd still be side by side with shady men/characters.

[madjac74]

, but I guess you'd still be side by side with shady men/characters.

 

You mean like people who think they are above the law by not bothering to pay for insurance when they are obviously a bad driver?

[justwhoiam]

You mean like people who think they are above the law by not bothering to pay for insurance when they are obviously a bad driver?

That's bad and I don't mean to justify or condone that in any way. Nevertheless, I still think there's a difference between someone temporarily without car insurance coverage and a rapist. Both can be guilty of liability offence in the USA.

But you might be without an insurance because your insurance company didn't receive your last payment, or you thought payment went through because you signed up for auto-deduct program, but something went wrong. Where I live, we have a 15-day bonus to renew car insurance. Usually, the insurance company sends a warning before the expiry date, so that the insured driver has the time to renew.

 

Anyway, in Georgia you get a fine from $200 to $1,000 with possible jail time up to 12 months. Possible, not compulsory. So I do wonder if nothing could be done to avoid time in jail. And that might raise more questions.