Why do highly sociable people need online dating?

[Bobbi7]

I always wondered this myself. If I was sociable and had lots of friends/connections, I sure as heck wouldn't be using a dating site! I mean, as for me I don't have a social circle, the friends that I have know that I'm single and don't bother introducing me to ANYONE-because it seems like that's how the majority of people meet. So, I have to do all the work on my own-dating sites. But everyone is different.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Online dating isn't just for losers who are hermits.

 

You may be social and see people a lot but that isn't the same as being in a space where people are explicitly looking to date.

 

I am in grad school, we socialize a lot, I go to various events, parties, bars, am in charge of a student organization and I see folks daily and socialize, yet I online date and so do others. The people I see daily are not always single or available or dating and flirting doesn't always come up. Online is direct. You know everyone there is looking to date so you can get to the point whereas in some social settings it's not as easy to know if someone is single or you should flirt with them or sometimes you for it and it doesn't go anywhere so online dating is just another avenue.

 

Online dating's major benefit is that it is explicit and you know the pool of people there are looking to date or at least have sex or something romantic. This isn't something you have to guess about. Out and about its not as easy to ascertain and it's even harder if it's your social circle and you don't want to risk awkwardness among people you see often... Some people also don't choose to date within their social circle or simply may not currently see anyone they fancy, so online is another option. But it's not just for people who have no social life.

 

Funny you mention this, the last date I went on, already the restaurant staff knew her pretty well. The manager approached her to say hello and she introduced me to him. She was almost like Norm from the Cheers TV show from the 80s'. lol

 

We live in a small town, but even though the area I live is quaint she did mention that too many people tend to know each other too well in such a small community. People date AROUND within their own social circles

 

I.E. - Bill's long time girlfriend breaks up with him, she starts dating Bill's client. etc.

 

I haven't noticed this as I don't really partake in socializing with the people around here as I tend to commute to the larger city to see people. (1 hr drive).

 

She did talk about not wanting to live here anymore though.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I always wondered this myself. If I was sociable and had lots of friends/connections, I sure as heck wouldn't be using a dating site! I mean, as for me I don't have a social circle, the friends that I have know that I'm single and don't bother introducing me to ANYONE-because it seems like that's how the majority of people meet. So, I have to do all the work on my own-dating sites. But everyone is different.

 

RIGHT...its ironic that this happens, because most people I know, when you ask, "So how did you all meet??" They say, "Through friends"

 

So there are some people who are desiring to avoid the "through friends" option for whatever reason.

 

With over 1K friends on her Facebook page, and over HALF she claims to personally known and talked with, I would imagine if we don't work out (after the first date, if there's just no 'clicking', we could become friends (since she's local) and she could bring me into her social circle, and you never know I could wind up meeting one of her single friends. ;-)

[elaine567]

Funny you mention this, the last date I went on, already the restaurant staff knew her pretty well. The manager approached her to say hello and she introduced me to him. She was almost like Norm from the Cheers TV show from the 80s'. lol

 

We live in a small town, but even though the area I live is quaint she did mention that too many people tend to know each other too well in such a small community. People date AROUND within their own social circles

 

I.E. - Bill's long time girlfriend breaks up with him, she starts dating Bill's client. etc.

 

I haven't noticed this as I don't really partake in socializing with the people around here as I tend to commute to the larger city to see people. (1 hr drive).

 

She did talk about not wanting to live here anymore though.

 

When someone is young, there is a huge choice of mates available, even in small towns.

As people age, unless they are desperate, they are not just looking for a mate.

They want a good mate, a good match - someone who they have learned over the years will be good for them as an individual.

A woman at 40+ who has been active in a small community will know the value of each available man as he comes on the market.

She probably went to school/university/work with him. She will have heard the gossip, she will know a friend of a friend of a friend and will know the circumstances of his divorce/break up and will have formed an opinion of him, his personality, his family, his exes, etc.

So yes, some will grab any guy that shows up, and will "incestuously" date the brother, the friend, the coworker, the client of her ex, but others who may have more specific needs, may want a wider choice of men to pick from and OLD meets that remit.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I am in grad school, we socialize a lot, I go to various events, parties, bars, am in charge of a student organization and I see folks daily and socialize, yet I online date and so do others. The people I see daily are not always single or available or dating and flirting doesn't always come up. Online is direct. You know everyone there is looking to date so you can get to the point whereas in some social settings it's not as easy to know if someone is single or you should flirt with them or sometimes you for it and it doesn't go anywhere so online dating is just another avenue.

 

Wow, you go to a college and still don't have dating opportunities there? I find that rather unfathomable to be honest.

 

Maybe that's why women are uncomfortable with men doing the cold approach with women who are sitting in the commons area, studying. I actually prefer the old-fashioned means...it's more organic.

 

Remember in the good old day THIS is how people MET? Through real life social interactions and networks. Study partners meet, date, get married, have kids.

 

REmember in the old days you could meet someone in the grocery store? Now with some of the posts about "approaching a woman in the store" is something most women despise these days as they are "in there to shop and get out of the place"

 

And I'm thinking, 'What? To run home, lock your doors, and jump on Match.com all night on a Sat. night?"

 

Answer..."Yep" lol

 

My parents met on the beach because my dad happened to park next to my mom and her sister (or vice versa, can't remember which).

[LookAtThisPOst]

When someone is young, there is a huge choice of mates available, even in small towns.

As people age, unless they are desperate, they are not just looking for a mate.

They want a good mate, a good match - someone who they have learned over the years will be good for them as an individual.

A woman at 40+ who has been active in a small community will know the value of each available man as he comes on the market.

She probably went to school/university/work with him. She will have heard the gossip, she will know a friend of a friend of a friend and will know the circumstances of his divorce/break up and will have formed an opinion of him, his personality, his family, his exes, etc.

So yes, some will grab any guy that shows up, and will "incestuously" date the brother, the friend, the coworker, the client of her ex, but others who may have more specific needs, may want a wider choice of men to pick from and OLD meets that remit.

 

Oh okay, there's some insight there to know. Thank you.

 

She said she was also aware of Meetup.com, but never did anything with it, which is not uncommon as there's thousands of members of Meetup, but only a small handful that actually GO to the events.