deg20 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Ok...so my ex wife has been in a relationship with a new man for about three months. We have been separated for a year now. We did keep in contact for the first 8 months and were amicable, even though she took advantage of me and used me...I know...my bad! As of March, we haven't been in contact. I heard through others about her new man. I should state that right after she left, she went wild, engaging in a lot of threesome sex, sex with strangers, sex with my long time friend the night I moved out, and sex at work ( a high school ) with another teacher and a married janitor...during school hours...she told me and I confirmed it! I received a few texts from her yesterday, out of the blue. I'm going to relay a few things she said in them, and I would like you to offer up your input and opinions, as I'm a little confused. I keep her number because of my stepson, btw... * How are things? Are you playing ball? Did you get that full time teaching position at the college? * Are you with anyone? Are you happy? * Bill and I are moving forward. I met his kids last week. I only realized how much he likes me last week. I am getting my confidence back. He is lots of laughs like you. * I've always been a one guy girl. * I cried over all my bills I have to pay. The house won't sell. * When you buy your car, you'll have to show me. Blue is my favorite colour * You're a good person. I still feel sad about us. * I still don't want to live with anyone. * Coffee soon, ok? Or is that a bad idea? So, input anyone??? Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 She's only trying to ease her guilt for all that she has done to you. Do not take the bait. I hope you will ignore answering any of her questions, or revealing any of your personal details to her. I'd ignore her completely, but if you must reply, be very brief and polite. She may be coming to her sanity now, but she did tell you that she is moving forward with this Bill guy. This is not an attempt to get back with you, but she looking for you to take her guilt away. Don't do it! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 deg20, pay attention to the bold bits.... Ok...so my ex wife has been in a relationship with a new man for about three months. We have been separated for a year now. We did keep in contact for the first 8 months and were amicable, even though she took advantage of me and used me...I know...my bad! As of March, we haven't been in contact. I heard through others about her new man. I should state that right after she left, she went wild, engaging in a lot of threesome sex, sex with strangers, sex with my long time friend the night I moved out, and sex at work ( a high school ) with another teacher and a married janitor...during school hours...she told me and I confirmed it! I received a few texts from her yesterday, out of the blue. I'm going to relay a few things she said in them, and I would like you to offer up your input and opinions, as I'm a little confused. I keep her number because of my stepson, btw... * How are things? Are you playing ball? Did you get that full time teaching position at the college? * Are you with anyone? Are you happy? * Bill and I are moving forward. I met his kids last week. I only realized how much he likes me last week. I am getting my confidence back. He is lots of laughs like you. * I've always been a one guy girl. * I cried over all my bills I have to pay. The house won't sell. * When you buy your car, you'll have to show me. Blue is my favorite colour * You're a good person. I still feel sad about us. * I still don't want to live with anyone. * Coffee soon, ok? Or is that a bad idea? So, input anyone??? That's what she's doing. Trying to re-establish the 'buddy-buddy' scenario, getting you on board to be friends again - so that when, inevitably the brown smelly stuff hits the hi-speed rotating ventilator, you'll be there to help pick up the pieces. It's just a load of - "Hey, be my friend again, I'm going to need bailing out soon, and who better to be the sad schmuck than you - ?!" Do not reply, respond, or give her the remotest hint - even with a brush-off - that she's got through to you. If you MUST keep the number for your step-son, then that's who it's for. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Just forget she even texted you and delete them. Move on with life and smile your moving down a better path. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Sounds like a mix of easing guilt, hoping to keep you on the backburner and checking if you've moved on. Don't reply. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Exactly what No Limit said. I would not reply to anything unless it was absolutely necessary as it relates to terms of your separation or your stepson. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 "Hey, be my friend again, I'm going to need bailing out soon, and who better to be the sad schmuck than you - ?!" Great translation. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 She's mentally unstable & a bit of an attention whore. She probably can't stand not knowing what you're up to. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I'm simply amazed that you even care what it could mean or not mean? She turned into SUPER whore after you split. She used you in your words. Why have ANY contact with her? She's clearly manipulative and is only concerned about herself and her needs. You need to work on yourself here. You need to figure out why you give one flipping thought to this train wreck that is your past. Really.. You should flat out ignore her and have zero contact with her while you're looking for a normal, healthy, loving woman for yourself.. Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye2 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Sounds like a mix of easing guilt, hoping to keep you on the backburner and checking if you've moved on. Don't reply. Both of these are exactly it. In a way you’re like a priest that can give her absolution of her sins. Being the one that she wronged the most, if you forgive her then how can anyone else criticize her? By acting friendly toward her you are sending her and everyone else the message that what she did must not have been so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Akashsingh Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I would reply in only two words: "bad idea" , end of story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deg20 Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 All of you are absolutely right, and it hits home even more when I read your input... I guess a small part of me is concerned about her well being, and I want to see her healthy again... As bad as she was...and she was extremely hurtful and callous and selfish...there's a small part of me that wants to see her "normal" again, even if it's not for me...I hated to know she was whoring it up for every man and woman in town... I've let her go as a wife, friend, acquaintance...that's gone...and I don't want to be in her life at all...but I guess I'd like to know she's trying at least to gain some self respect, at least to be a good mom and a decent person.. but I didn't/won't respond, and I'm moving forward! Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I think the more pertinent question is why are you busying yourself with decoding this dingbat? And it's very apparent---you carefully brush away the traces of involvement or obsession, attempting to make your inquiry look "healthy" and "rational." Any person fresh out of a relationship having sex with co-workers at a high-school qualifies as dingbat. Extract yourself from her world. You owe her nothing. You have no ties. Meet a woman who can propel your thoughts and concerns upward. This woman's behavior demonstrates that she's good for dredging the bottom of the lake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deg20 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 I realize there is nothing to salvage...and any kind of friendship would be toxic in this case. I have to accept she is just not worth knowing...at all. For someone to do as much damage as she has to one person, physically and mentally, is unfathomable. And I'm not even sure if she's done this willingly or not. I'd like to think there was SOME good in this woman, but I'm afraid there isn't. I was never one to dismiss anyone from my life. Always forgave. Always thought that anything broken can be fixed. Not this time... Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I felt the same way until I starting readingLS. People today do not seem to have any honor anymore. If I feels good do it. I know that everyone isnt like that, but dang!!!! Oh well, off to the beach. A little cloudy, but decent surf. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 It's all a matter of satisfying her ego. If you engage her, it tells her you're not over her and you'll blow her head up by making her think that her ex husband is still clinging on to the past. Why give her the satisfaction? Exes are exes for a reason. And given the fact that she became an easy woman after the divorce, you clearly dodged a bullet of having to waste the latter half of your life on her. Live your life and continue to ignore, ignore, and ignore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deg20 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Actually, the responses I gave stated that he's a good guy...the kind she can retire with and be happy with... Link to post Share on other sites
Author deg20 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 There is no doubt in my mind that she is not only texting me, but a number of other guys while three months in to her new relationship...which puts an even greater perspective on what kind of person she truly is. A few months back, she verbally stated, "I want you to find someone so I'm off the hook". If that doesn't speak volumes, I don't know what does...among the other things she's said and done. Sometimes I think I'm so fascinated with the complexity, the ruthlessness, and the corrupt make-up of this woman that it floors me...still in disbelief that I dedicated 9 years of my life to this. I feel shamed, embarrassed, and a chump. Before posting this thread, I almost entertained the thought of going for coffee with her, but realized two things: 1. She is only offering this to alleviate guilt, and even if I said yes, she wouldn't follow through... 2. She wants to test the waters to see if she can ask me for money yet again. I won't see her, and won't respond to her contacts. There is no good that can come from any of it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deg20 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Three kids...all hers though...two oldest aren't in the picture. I'm intermittently in contact with the youngest, 16... Yes...I won't entertain her once-in-a-while texts or attempt to contact me... Trying to shut her down completely...and I am succeeding 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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