Women who flirt w/ married men

[StillHurtin]

At my brothers party last night one of his friends brought a gal that we went to high school w/. I didn't know why she was there sitting w/ a group of his friends. I asked a mutual friend of ours and she said that she and her H had split up several months ago and she was now dating one of my brothers friends. She was drinking and was getting drunk and was flirting w/ all of the guys that she knew and most of them, but a few, are married. She flirted w/ two of my brother's friends who are married. She was even holding one guys hand and rubbing his leg. I overheard a part of their conversation. He was telling her about his marriage problems! The guy she was there w/ was no where to be seen but came back in shortly. She wasn't even hanging around w/ him, she was jumping from one guy to the next flirting w/ them. My sil mentioned something to me. She was not happy. My mom even commented on how she was jumping from one guy to the next flirting and she felt badly for the guy she was w/ (he has been friends w/ my brother since we were kids). Later I walked past them as they were talking and they were arguing. Probably b/c of the way she was acting. I know she is getting out of a M and moving on but how rude of her to come to this party w/ a guy and then not be w/ him and running around flirting w/ all the guys, especially the married ones. She was not very welcomed into our group of friends the way she was acting. It's women like her that give women bad names.

[Marshbear]

She's just a HO!!!!

[whichwayisup]

Obviously she was starving for some sort of attention and she got it from various men that night. Yes, blame her, but blame the MM who ALLOWED her to touch and be flirty with them, knowing that their wives were around the party somewhere. Each MM she flirted with is held responsible for his own actions. She didn't hold a gun to their head and say FLIRT WITH ME DAMMIT!!

 

She IS a Ho and not a nice one. Hope the guy she was with gets rid of her. She sounds like abit of hand full.

[SixthSt.Girl]

Nope, it's the women that call other women names who make our gender look bad. Insecurity and jealousy are traits that are far too common in women, especially lately, it seems. FYI - a man will usually respond favorably to an attractive woman who flirts with him - if that bugs you, don't get married! Or chain your man to your bed.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by StillHurtin

He was telling her about his marriage problems!

 

Regardless of the behavior of the friend, it is a bit telling of the MM if he talks about his marriage problems already when he receives a bit of attention from a woman.

 

SixthSt.Girl makes excellent points.

 

To call her a ho, because she flirts with married men is unwarranted, especially if we may consider the break up of her marriage a few months prior. I don't know the circumstances which led to the breakdown of her marriage, but it might have been a severe blow; and this party might have been one of the first occasions for her to reassert herself as an attractive woman. We are not in a position to judge WWIU and Marshbear.

[whichwayisup]

We are not in a position to judge WWIU and Marshbear.

 

 

I seem you judging No Foolin' a while back on his thread afew months ago...

 

Everyone judges abit here and there, so don't that my way. From what the original poster POSTED about, it did sound very inappropriate for this woman to do what she did. It was rude for her to ditch her date and totally be flirting with many MM as well as single men. Maybe calling her a ho was too much, but I can't even comment on her behaviour and form an opinion on that?? Come on D.

[XNemesisX]

Rubbing on the MMs legs and stuff is pretty ho-like behavior and C'mon what guy would be like "excuse me but please remove your hand from my leg!" heh yeah right.

 

Maybe I am just cynical but I don't see too many guys, married or not, telling her to get off of him. Maybe ho is going too far, but disrespectful is certainly a good word for her.

[d'Arthez]

Have you read that thread properly WWIU? For your information I am from Europe, English is not my native tongue. If I do complain about Americans unable to communicate in their own language, as to make it possible for non-natives to actually read a message smoothly, it is not too much I ask. I am willing to post in my native language, but I think it would make little sense does not it? So at least offer me a message that can be easily understood.Furthermore, I was short and abrasive, and the reason why I have explained in that particular thread. It is not hard to read that.

 

And I was judging his opinion, and not him as a person, at least until the point he become personally offensive to me. Telling

She IS a Ho and not a nice one. Hope the guy she was with gets rid of her. She sounds like abit of hand full.

is clearly a highly judgemental remark. Possibily inspired by the moral bashing opportunities StillHurting 's post offers, as she described in detail, and colored from her perspective what occured.

 

For all we know, she might have been a woman who came for advice on LS, after her marriage went haywire. You could have even personally advised her to go out and have a good time. And of course behavior can fall out of line, especially after a traumatic event. I think it would take longer than a few months to recover from the loss of a marriage. So her behavior is naturally off-balance.

 

Originally posted by XNemesisX

C'mon what guy would be like "excuse me but please remove your hand from my leg!" heh yeah right.

Well if a guy starts to tell of his marriage problems after that, it should have revealed to the careful observer that his marriage might indeed be not as good as his partner seems to think. Either these problems factually exist, or these problems don't exist, but the MM is looking for some benefits positive attention to this woman could beget him, which imply there exists a set of problems that is not worked on.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by StillHurtin

She was not very welcomed into our group of friends the way she was acting. It's women like her that give women bad names.

 

You have got to be kidding me. Who the hell would want to be in a group of people that had nothing better to do than sit around and monitor the behavior of someone else? Considering what you've gone through in your life, are you really capable of being that pretentious?

 

Ever thought of introducing yourself and taking her aside to see if she's okay and to see if maybe she's had too much to drink? Ever think to suggest that maybe she'd like to go outside and talk to get away from the noise of the party?

 

What it seems like you did was just sit around and peer at another woman with nothing but disgust. Way to go in trying to help someone not make a fool of themselves. Way to go in trying to help another woman who may, just like you have, been suffering and needed someone to talk to.

 

Who knows why she was behaving that way - all we're left with is a poor image of a woman based only on your perspective.

[XNemesisX]

 

I just clicked that link and now I have spyware everywhere! Thanks a lot!

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by SixthSt.Girl

Nope, it's the women that call other women names who make our gender look bad. Insecurity and jealousy are traits that are far too common in women, especially lately, it seems. FYI - a man will usually respond favorably to an attractive woman who flirts with him - if that bugs you, don't get married! Or chain your man to your bed.

 

I agree that women call other women a lot of bad names and there is a lot of jealousy out there in the world. But I have to disagree w/ your reply about a man responding favorably to an attractive woman who flirts w/ him, that if I don't like it and it bugs me, don't get married. Ummm, a little too late for that one, I have been married almost 13 years. Women did flirt w/ H and at first I didn't mind it, b/c it was harmless, and I knew he was coming home to me or going home w/ me. H told me that women flirted w/ him. But, when his female co-worker went a little overboard w/ the flirting that is when I got pissed. NO woman has a right to touch a man anywhere sexually when she flirts w/ them. Maybe you think I am wrong in that opinion and so be it, but if another woman touches my H in a flirting, sexually manner they better hope I don't find out. If they wanna flirt, fine, but they better keep their hands off!

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by Pocky

You have got to be kidding me. Who the hell would want to be in a group of people that had nothing better to do than sit around and monitor the behavior of someone else? Considering what you've gone through in your life, are you really capable of being that pretentious?

 

Ever thought of introducing yourself and taking her aside to see if she's okay and to see if maybe she's had too much to drink? Ever think to suggest that maybe she'd like to go outside and talk to get away from the noise of the party?

 

What it seems like you did was just sit around and peer at another woman with nothing but disgust. Way to go in trying to help someone not make a fool of themselves. Way to go in trying to help another woman who may, just like you have, been suffering and needed someone to talk to.

 

Who knows why she was behaving that way - all we're left with is a poor image of a woman based only on your perspective.

 

Pocky, I had to laugh at your post. I do know this woman, I went to HS w/ her. We ALL know this woman. And she was a stuck up b!tch in HS, a stuck up b!tch when I was going through counseling during my divorce (she worked as a receptionist at the front desk). Maybe she was stuck up b/c she is jealous of ME! I was very shy in HS, but I was always friendly to everyone. I was very nice to this woman when I went in for my counseling appts but she acted like her old, stuck up self. I have no respect for women who go around flirting when their date is standing right there. If she is wanting to go out and flirt w/ every Tom, Dick, and Harry then don't do it on a date, common sense!

[Pocky]

Originally posted by StillHurtin

I have no respect for women who go around flirting when their date is standing right there. If she is wanting to go out and flirt w/ every Tom, Dick, and Harry then don't do it on a date, common sense!

 

I didn't realize she was dating you.

[Moose]

C'mon what guy would be like "excuse me but please remove your hand from my leg!" heh yeah right.

You're right.......I wouldn't either. It would be more like a reactive leap hitting my knee on the underside of the table and probably falling off the side of my chair......then of course there's the embarrassing stare from everyone wondering if I had too much to drink, or if I'm getting ready to have a seizure.......

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by Pocky

I didn't realize she was dating you.

 

Pocky, what I meant by this is she should have a little respect not to flirt w/ men, married or not, right in front of her date. How would she like it if she was on a date and the guy was flirting w/ other women? They have just started dating and I don't think he would appreciate dating someone new who happens to flirt w/ men. I guess everyone is different and takes things differently.

[SixthSt.Girl]

Originally posted by StillHurtin

 

 

Pocky, what I meant by this is she should have a little respect not to flirt w/ men, married or not, right in front of her date. How would she like it if she was on a date and the guy was flirting w/ other women? They have just started dating and I don't think he would appreciate dating someone new who happens to flirt w/ men. I guess everyone is different and takes things differently.

 

If you're not God or a higher power, then what she does is none of your business! Is she flirting with your man - is that why you're so concerned? Be honest. If you were secure about your relationship, then you wouldn't have any care in the world about women flirting with married men. A marriage consists of two people - only one of those people have the power to end it or damage it, not an outsider. She can flirt with a married man - then, the ball is in his court. And now, you're so concerned about this woman's date... why? Can he not leave on his own if he's p'od? Sounds to me like another case of a woman feeling threatened by other women. You have no need to be unless your husband is responding to her enticement - then, you should be mad at your HUSBAND, not this woman.

[Guest]

It seems to me that a lot of the replies from women who don't find this behavior unacceptable (flirting with mm) are probably women who do flirt with mm and see nothing wrong with it. It seems to be you are trying to validate your own doings of flirting with mm. If a man is married, back off! Sure the mm has a choice, to flirt back or not, but a woman has a choice not to flirt with the mm in the first place. There are plenty of other SG to flirt with, leave the mm alone.

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by SixthSt.Girl

If you're not God or a higher power, then what she does is none of your business! Is she flirting with your man - is that why you're so concerned? Be honest. If you were secure about your relationship, then you wouldn't have any care in the world about women flirting with married men. A marriage consists of two people - only one of those people have the power to end it or damage it, not an outsider. She can flirt with a married man - then, the ball is in his court. And now, you're so concerned about this woman's date... why? Can he not leave on his own if he's p'od? Sounds to me like another case of a woman feeling threatened by other women. You have no need to be unless your husband is responding to her enticement - then, you should be mad at your HUSBAND, not this woman.

 

If she is flirting w/ my friend's H (no they didn't flirt back) and doing it right in front of her date who happens to be a friend of mine that I practically grew up w/ then I see it as my business b/c I don't want her hurting him. Yes, he could of left by why should he? He was the one that invited her to this party which happens to be my brother's party. Why would he leave the party he invited her too and she isn't part of this crowd. Ya know, I am not the only one who thought her behavior was unacceptable. There was other women who noticed it and even a few guys she was flirting w/ were making comments on how slutty she was acting, so it wasn't just women saying this. If I seen her flirting w/ someone that I am not friends w/ at the bar, or wherever, and not in front of the guy she is dating (a friend of mine) I wouldn't care.

 

No, she wasn't flirting w/ my H, she doesn't even know him. And if she did, I know he wouldn't of flirted back b/c my H doesn't like women who act like that.

 

If a woman wants to flirt w/ mm so be it, but I don't think they need to be rubbing their legs or holding their hands and this is what this woman was doing.

 

Aren't you the OW to a MM? If I remember right you are and if so, no wonder you got so defensive, b/c you are the same way, flirtacious w/ mm.

[SixthSt.Girl]

[color=green]Aren't you the OW to a MM? If I remember right you are and if so, no wonder you got so defensive, b/c you are the same way, flirtacious w/ mm.[/color]

 

No, you're wrong. I have never been an OW. I have had the opportunity a few times, but never took it. The MM initiated the flirting every time, and I backed away. You can read my past posts. I'm not advocating flirting with MM - I am saying that it's the husband's responsibilty to know better, even if he doesn't start it, he has the power to end it or else end his marriage. I think too many women want to believe their husbands are immune to bad behavior and are forever faithful - women grow to be too dependant on their husbands and too comfy in their relationships, and won't leave or badmouth hubby even if abuse or humiliation is involved. I think that is almost as pathetic as the cheating. Just bothers me to see women ganging up on the evil OW and placing all the blame on her for destroying marriages! Does the man have no choice - does this "drunken slut" have the powers of hypnosis, poisoning the minds of poor, defenseless men?

 

If you think this woman is responsible for MM's behavior at a party, then your views are warped. It was their choice to flirt back or back off. Would you have been so worked up if the MM had avoided the overtures altogether? No, I don't think so. You feel upset by the influence that a certain woman can have on a man, married or single. If you want to deny it, that's up to you. But, it's painfully obvious, as other posters have also picked up on it. You should pay more attention to your marriage and things that you actually have some control over. This woman will sober up after the party and probably not be a problem anymore, and you will have been worked up over nothing.

[CurlyIam]

Some women like a lot of attention. Feel like tey've got nothign to lose or like they have to make up for the lost time. Who knows what's going on inside her head?

 

Men will always be flirting back at women. If my hubby would allow another woman to be massaging his heg, you can bet I'll have a raw. I don't care how the other men are acting, they may even let her perform a bj in public, NO ONE touches hubby's legs. As for the rest of the crowd, there are so many attention-starved men, you wouldn't believe it. I'm not saying it's ok, I'm saying it's predictable.

 

As for her behaviour, I'd simply be watching her around my hubby and not have her around my cercle of friends. You don't have to do a thing. This type of behaviour will get her ostracisized sooner than you think!

 

Get her off your mind like she were an annoying flee!

[KissMyTiara]

StillHurtin - you're threatened, not only because of your history with this woman, but because of your own marital history. Certainly, it wasn't the NICEST thing in the world for her to do, but there could be a ton of reasons why this hapless girl did what she did that don't extend into "ho-dom." How about just feeling sorry for her? See her as a poor, pathetic, insecure, attention-seeking mess (NOT a ho) who doesn't know her boundaries, and then be thankful that you'd never act like that so as to have someone else writing a post about YOU.

 

Anyways, that's what I do - when people act inappropriately, it's a lot easier to blow it off if you feel pity for them than to get all aggitated.

[RecordProducer]

I think there are two kinds of flirting:

 

1. 'innocent flirting' that boosts the actors' egos and gives the wife a lot of headache; and

2. flirting that means "I wanna f*ck you!"

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by KissMyTiara

StillHurtin - you're threatened, not only because of your history with this woman, but because of your own marital history. Certainly, it wasn't the NICEST thing in the world for her to do, but there could be a ton of reasons why this hapless girl did what she did that don't extend into "ho-dom." How about just feeling sorry for her? See her as a poor, pathetic, insecure, attention-seeking mess (NOT a ho) who doesn't know her boundaries, and then be thankful that you'd never act like that so as to have someone else writing a post about YOU.

 

Anyways, that's what I do - when people act inappropriately, it's a lot easier to blow it off if you feel pity for them than to get all aggitated.

 

KMT, I'm not threatened by this woman's behavior. I guess I am just I feel badly that she was flirting w/ all these men, mm or not, in front of her date that I happen to be friends with. I could see he was a little upset about it and in turn, I felt for him. I guess that is the point that upsets me the most. And the mm she was flirting w/ (her hands on his leg, and holding his hand) upset me because his wife happens to be a friend of mine and her ds and my ds are best friends, and it just bothered me seeing her doing that to him and he didn't bother doing anything about it but just sitting there letting her do this to him. It just made my stomach churn seeing this going on. I am sure it was probably harmless but it bothered me because I am sure his wife wouldn't of thought to highly of it if she was there to see it. I am sure she would of jumped on his a$$. I didn't feel it was my place to say anything to either one of them.

 

And your right, TG I am not like this.

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by SixthSt.Girl

[color=green]Aren't you the OW to a MM? If I remember right you are and if so, no wonder you got so defensive, b/c you are the same way, flirtacious w/ mm.[/color]

 

No, you're wrong. I have never been an OW. I have had the opportunity a few times, but never took it. The MM initiated the flirting every time, and I backed away. You can read my past posts. I'm not advocating flirting with MM - I am saying that it's the husband's responsibilty to know better, even if he doesn't start it, he has the power to end it or else end his marriage. I think too many women want to believe their husbands are immune to bad behavior and are forever faithful - women grow to be too dependant on their husbands and too comfy in their relationships, and won't leave or badmouth hubby even if abuse or humiliation is involved. I think that is almost as pathetic as the cheating. Just bothers me to see women ganging up on the evil OW and placing all the blame on her for destroying marriages! Does the man have no choice - does this "drunken slut" have the powers of hypnosis, poisoning the minds of poor, defenseless men?

 

If you think this woman is responsible for MM's behavior at a party, then your views are warped. It was their choice to flirt back or back off. Would you have been so worked up if the MM had avoided the overtures altogether? No, I don't think so. You feel upset by the influence that a certain woman can have on a man, married or single. If you want to deny it, that's up to you. But, it's painfully obvious, as other posters have also picked up on it. You should pay more attention to your marriage and things that you actually have some control over. This woman will sober up after the party and probably not be a problem anymore, and you will have been worked up over nothing.

 

SixthStGirl, sorry that I confused you w/ being the OW. B4 H's A I never, ever thought he would have an A. But he sure thought I was out to have an A. I couldn't go out w/ my friends w/o getting 50 questions when I got home "Who flirted w/ you, you bought you a drink, who did you sleep w/ 2nite?" No kidding, every time I went out (which is maybe two or three times a year) these questions would be thrown at me.

No, I am not saying that this woman put a gun to the mm's heads to make them flirt back. I don't think any of them did flirt back if I remember right. The only thing I seen that I thought went too far is her holding hands and having her hands all over a mm's leg and he did nothing to push her away. I can't see any man just shoving a woman's hand of their legs. I guess maybe he could of just scooted away from her w/o having to actually remove her hands from his legs.

 

Like I told KMT, I think I was more upset that she was acting this way in front of my friend (her date) and didn't seem to care that he was bothered by it. I guess I shouldn't care if his feelings are hurt or not because if he chooses to date a woman who wants to flirt w/ men in front of him, on a date, that is his problem.

 

This happened over a week ago and I really don't care anymore. I was just a little ticked when it happened.

[Marshbear]

Originally posted by StillHurtin

I guess I am just I feel badly that she was flirting w/ all these men, mm or not, in front of her date that I happen to be friends with. I could see he was a little upset about it and in turn, I felt for him. I guess that is the point that upsets me the most. And the mm she was flirting w/ (her hands on his leg, and holding his hand) upset me because his wife happens to be a friend of mine and her ds and my ds are best friends, and it just bothered me seeing her doing that to him and he didn't bother doing anything about it but just sitting there letting her do this to him. It just made my stomach churn seeing this going on. I am sure it was probably harmless but it bothered me because I am sure his wife wouldn't of thought to highly of it if she was there to see it. I am sure she would of jumped on his a$$. I didn't feel it was my place to say anything to either one of them.

I ythnkAnd your right, TG I am not like this.

 

I understand your problem with this women's behavior and I think you are absolutely right to be upset with it. She showed very little character by acting this way and was insulting to her date and guests at the party. She might have problems in her life but is that an excuse for bad behavior?