Some , Does She Want Me Back???

[Amtracker]

Any thoughts and help from someone would be appreciated. So, my ex and I started dating again. It was a rocky break up but, we later started talking. It's been about five months since the break up. About three weeks ago I discovered she was talking to another dude. I shouldn't of been snooping but my gut told me that something was up. Last night we had a great dinner and fun. She stayed at my house for a bit. We kissed and cuddled but we didn't get any further which is understandable. She's still secretive with her phone. I know it's not my business. I'm just concerned that she may be talking to this other dude who lives hours away. She has the snapchat app, so do I and I see her score going up. She says she misses me and loves me. I can offer her the world and a home. I really love her but I don't want to act needy and untrustworthy. Prior to our break up she was very jealous and is still somewhat. She claimed a few days ago she hasn't really talked to this other dude. I'm thinking I should pump the breaks and stop showing her so much affection and love. Maybe she will get the picture. She talks about getting back together all the time. We were together for two years and she lived in my home. I'm confused abort this situation my heart says one thing but, my gut tells me something is up. I deal with deceptive people in my career and I can smell BS a mile away. I do love her but every time I ask if she was seeing other people she would say, "no no and if I was it would be none of your business." Later on I found out about the other guy. Recently we were talking again and still our. She still has that dumb snapchat app. That bothers me and the secretive phone locks and no messages are visible. I don't invade her privacy but at times she has left her phone out and I texted her. I just don't want to be strung along. I treat her very well and owned my mistakes. She said she has seen the changes. Any thoughts.

[Ruby65]

The consensus from your last thread about her seems to have been that she was keeping you as a Plan B. I have to admit, reading your OP, this was my thought as well.

 

She's dating you -- but says it's none of your business if she's talking to other guys? It sounds like she's treating this as a non-exclusive relationship.

 

Since this isn't what you want, I'd set some boundaries. Tell her you want to date exclusively, or not at all. If she's not willing to commit after five months, end the relationship for real and go No Contact so you can heal.

 

She needs to either commit to reconciling for real -- or you need to stop being there as a backup plan.

 

That's what I'd do, anyway.

[aloneinaz]

Ruby is right on point here. I also agree you're her back up plan. Reading your post reinforced my believe that relationships should stay ended when the break up.

 

It also appears that you're allowing her all the power in directing/driving that relationship. When a person feels they are totally in control of their partner, they lose respect for them as the feel they are their puppet.

 

If I was in your shoes, I'd be looking for an exit plan from what's not going to be a happy ending for you.

[Satu]

You get one vote, and one vote only.

 

You either vote for yourself, or against yourself.

 

What's more, voting is compulsory.

[forumman83]

I've been through a similar situation with my ex where she was stringing me along with someone else in the picture; boy do I look back at myself then and think "what a chump."

 

Cut her off immediately and take time to heal. Work on yourself and let her miss you. This girl is not emotionally stable enough to be dating either one of you.

 

 

Though, judging by your posts it is clear that you will not have the fortitude to accomplish the above, I know sometime in the near future you will look back and say "damn, I should have listened to everyone on Loveshack..."

[forumman83]

I've been through a similar situation with my ex where she was stringing me along with someone else in the picture; boy do I look back at myself then and think "what a chump."

 

Cut her off immediately and take time to heal. Work on yourself and let her miss you. This girl is not emotionally stable enough to be dating either one of you.

 

 

Though, judging by your posts it is clear that you will not have the fortitude to accomplish what I suggest, I know sometime in the near future you will look back and say "damn, I should have listened to everyone on Loveshack and my gut and let her go."

[JennK]

I have learned that making assumptions does nothing but drive you crazy. The scenarios, the what ifs...I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt unless you have solid proof, like she tells you that she's seeing someone else. There's nothing you can do about it anyways, if she is.