The next timee you consider calling a fit, in shape woman anorexic, just stop...

[writergal]

I'm pretty sure it's not just 'fat chicks' who call fit women anorexic.

The way you are fat shaming doesn't make you any better than whomever you witnessed calling someone anorexic. Such hypocrisy.

 

100% agree. Why did you start this thread Loveweary11? To fat shame women because of your background as a personal trainer?

 

Anorexic women aren't all the same and don't all weigh 40 pounds near death. There are varying degrees of anorexia which is an eating disorder.

 

A good friend of mine suffered from anorexia in high school and she was not thin. It took her another 6 years to stop being anorexic. She never lost a ton of weight that threatened her health either. Her anorexia was a reaction to the abuse she suffered in her family. Once her symptoms and thought patterns that caused her anorexia were addressed, they all but disappeared. She hasn't been anorexic since.

 

It's a myth to say that all anorexics are thin. Because that's just not true.

Other myths about anorexia that aren't true: they see a fat person when they look in the mirror, their only goal is weight loss, anorexics don't like food, and anorexics never feel hungry.

[ASG]

It's a myth to say that all anorexics are thin. Because that's just not true.

Other myths about anorexia that aren't true: they see a fat person when they look in the mirror, their only goal is weight loss, anorexics don't like food, and anorexics never feel hungry.

 

My step sister, who is a 40 year old woman who has suffered with anorexia for about 10 years, maybe longer, it's not about seeing a fat person in the mirror.

 

She uses her illness as a way to control and get the attention of her parents. She's currently in hospital and is doing all she can to stay there, cause they visit her every day. She is also eating all the pizza, burgers and whatever food she tends to deprive herself of at the moment. As soon as she leaves the hospital, she'll go back to not eating.

 

She LOVES food. She cooks for a living. But she restricts her food intake to a piece of toast and maybe a bit of meat (plus copious amounts of coffee and a few sweets).

[writergal]

I just thought of something else to add about under-eating which is what anorexia is:

 

Physical Effects

Under-eating at any weight has a marked effect on physical health. There is a common misperception that under-eating prolongs life and this is reinforced by evidence that consistent overeating does indeed reduce life span. The exact effects of under-eating depend on the nature and the extent of the diet and the degree of weight loss. In no particular order of importance:

 

Heart , Circulation and Temperature: The heart is a muscle which can be eroded by extreme under-eating and thus becomes weaker. Blood pressure may fall to dangerous levels and pulse rate slows up. Sluggish circulation can lead to ulcers on the legs and feelings of extreme cold. But the most worrying effect of a weakened heart would be if arrhythmia occurred (irregular beating).

 

Sex Hormones and Infertility: In order to protect more important life processes, sex hormone production is interrupted. Sexual feelings decrease, and the signs of puberty in females and males disappear, such as menstruation and nocturnal emissions respectively. Normal functioning may be delayed even after a return to normal eating and weight.

 

Bones: Hormonal and nutritional changes have a profoundly disturbing effect on bone growth and density. The years of puberty are the time when bones grow and strengthen. Should they fail to do so at this time they will never recover. The result in later life will be osteoporosis, stooping and a high risk of fracture.

 

Digestion: The digestive tract in under-eaters slows right down and as a result food moves slowly through it and feels uncomfortable. This explains the heightened sensitivity to feelings of fullness and bloatedness, which is misleading.

 

Skin and Hair: The effects of under-eating are variable from one person to the other. Skin can become dry and show signs of early ageing. It may turn orange in the very low weight, or may be covered in very fine fuzz. Some people find that their hair becomes thin.

 

Sleep and Rest: Under-eaters find it hard to sleep and may wake early with a sense of restlessness which drives them to go out and exercise.

 

Professor Fairburn, inspiration for this article, reminds us that the effects above are the result of sustained under-eating and can occur in someone of any weight but if weight is also very low the effects of under-eating are increased.

 

The Conclusion

Under-eating has specific effects which are universal and which change every aspect of personality. Some distressing symptoms when a person tries to eat more are directly caused by under-eating. Example: being bloated is caused by under-eating and is not usually a sign that you have eaten too much.

 

Your personality, thoughts and feelings are directly affected by what you eat.

The effects of under-eating are dangerous.

 

Under-eating may make you feel special and stronger but this is the eating disorder telling you that this is so and this eating disorder also makes you unhappy and tired.

 

Under-eating will keep you locked in to the eating problem by making you more obsessed and preoccupied by food and more irrational about how you really look; more inflexible and more easily bloated.

 

All of these horrible symptoms – including self hatred and feeling fat, will begin to recede if a person is able to start eating and regain a healthier body weight. If weight is already low, you may need some expert support to help you manage this change and keep you safe.

 

-Adapted from Fairburn, CG, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy & Eating Disorders Guildford Press 2008

[Mr Scorpio]

Point is.. fat chicks shouldn't go around calling in shape people "anorexic" when it's an actual, medically dangerous, health problem.

 

I agree with your general point. People shouldn't shame others over there body-type, whether the shamed individual is overweight or underweight.

 

Sub-point: using the term "fat chicks" in a discussion rallying against body-shaming isn't going to persuade your audience.

[writergal]

I agree with your general point. People shouldn't shame others over there body-type, whether the shamed individual is overweight or underweight.

 

Sub-point: using the term "fat chicks" in a discussion rallying against body-shaming isn't going to persuade your audience.

 

I agree. The phrase 'fat chicks' is pejorative. It's derogatory and fat shaming.

 

It's hypocritical to accuse others of fat shaming, then do it yourself loveweary11 in the same sentence.

[xxoo]

My step sister, who is a 40 year old woman who has suffered with anorexia for about 10 years, maybe longer, it's not about seeing a fat person in the mirror.

 

She uses her illness as a way to control and get the attention of her parents. She's currently in hospital and is doing all she can to stay there, cause they visit her every day. She is also eating all the pizza, burgers and whatever food she tends to deprive herself of at the moment. As soon as she leaves the hospital, she'll go back to not eating.

 

She LOVES food. She cooks for a living. But she restricts her food intake to a piece of toast and maybe a bit of meat (plus copious amounts of coffee and a few sweets).

 

I didn't control my food to gain attention, but rather to control something in my world. It was an addictive sense of power when I felt otherwise powerless and full of fear. I took pleasure in controlling food. Eating felt like failure. It was unpleasant. I normally enjoy food, so that was part of the illness.

 

At the worst part, it was semi-conscious suicide. I was trying to fade away. I felt like a burden to my family with all the attention on my mental health, and my inability to function like a healthy person. I wanted to stop being.

 

Thankfully, my anorexia disappeared with proper treatment for the depression I was suffering. For me, anorexia was a symptom of the depression. For years after, whenever I had thoughts of controlling my food, of controlling my weight (I've always been thin), of eliminating that small amt of fat on the inner part of my thighs....I took it as a big red flag to take care of my mental health.

 

I've been free of these thoughts for a long time now. Giving thanks for my healthy mind and body when I look at those photos of the woman currently trying to survive

[Haydn]

Sometimes PC goes bonkers.

 

Close mates i don`t see for a while, i often greet them with... `you look healthy`

 

Which means they have put on a quite a bit of weight.....and are now a fat b...d.

 

The woman in the pic is at the very extreme and i expect that an eating disorder is only one of her very alarming problems.

[regine_phalange]

The poor woman It made me sad. She was beautiful before.

I wonder, is it possible that she knows she has a problem and at the same time still has the anorexic psyche? Or has she recovered psychologically and now she has to deal with the physical symptoms and the weakness?

 

Bless her husband....

 

Damn, I was feeling guilty for eating double serving of veggie sushis today, but I take it back. I used to be 8 kgs down, but I was underweight myself. Since I packed this weight I noticed how much thicker my hair became and how much better colour my skin has. And I have more energy. And still in the middle of the normal weight range.

[ASG]

I wonder, is it possible that she knows she has a problem and at the same time still has the anorexic psyche? Or has she recovered psychologically and now she has to deal with the physical symptoms and the weakness?

 

I think most people KNOW they have an eating disorder. My step sister is fully aware. She is being followed by specialists. But she can't let go of it...

 

Last year, she was admitted to hospital for kidney failure and they couldn't even find a vein to put her IV in, so they had to put in a central line. The procedure didn't go so well and it was, apparently, very painful. She told my step dad that she never wanted to go through that ever again, so she was gonna start eating normally as soon as she left the hospital.

 

She didn't. As soon as she left, she lost all the weight she had put on and continued not eating. Even knowing that her health was now really suffering because of it. And 6 months later, she was back in hospital.

 

She refers to it as "[her] illness". I think the best way to describe it is a drug addict who knows they have a problem but can't kick the habit...

[ascendotum]

Third, you CAN NOT diagnose anorexia on sight. When I was struggling with it the most, a few men praised me for my slight weight. That was not helpful.

 

So maybe you could say you were suffer4ing from anorexia but not yet anorexic. I suspect you will say all those suffering from anorexia are anorexic. To me anorexic is the physical manifestation of the condition. Being slender is not anorexic. My sister was skinny and she ate haphazardly and liked her figure (and got plenty of attention from guys) but she was not anorexic. I was skinny too but ate way more then her, so maybe eating small or large could have made difference for her.

 

A couple of women I know are quite slender. One is vegetation, exercises (not overly) and the other just doesn't eat all that much and from what I see she does not have much appetite and both are quite healthy. I certainly would not call them anorexic, but you might say they could be secretly suffering from anorexia. They say they are not dieting, and if they were eating just small portions as long as they got good variety and all their vitamins & minerals that's fine. A lot of it is going to be whats going on in her head and whether despite her trim/slender body she is still unhappy even if guys are complementing her often.

[Taramere]

First of all, that woman you referenced is dying of anorexia. She didn't look like that the entire time she has had anorexia. Look at her past photos, and you'll see what anorexia looked like at other stages. At some points, she was very fit! This is tragically the end stage of the disease. I dearly hope that the treatment she gets is successful and she recovers.

 

Right. A friend of mine has come close to the state that woman is in....but not quite as thin as that. I'd never tell her that though, because it would just fire up her competitiveness. That said, everything does. Or rather, the competitive desire to be as thin as possible is something that is with her all the time - whether or not other people are saying the kind of things we might describe as "triggers".

 

When she was close to being that thin, people would give her horrified stares all the time. I remember meeting up with her and being close to tears. I knew she was feeding her consultant a pack of lies (she was an out patient at the time) but it seemed unthinkable to me that somebody with his level of experience wouldn't know full well that she was flooding herself with water every time she went in there to get weighed.

 

Luckily she was admitted soon after. With serious long term cases like her, one method they'll use is to feed them up to a healthy weight and then retain them in hospital at that healthy weight for a long period of time (like a year, or more) in the hope that it'll break the pattern.

 

A lot of the fellow sufferers she talks about seem very committed to getting better. She isn't. She hates being a normal weight and can't wait to get out so that she can diet back down to the horrifying state she was in before. She doesn't want to get better. Being anorexic and bulimic is far too much a sense of her identity now.

 

 

Second, of course people shouldn't throw around the word "anorexia" as an insult. That's extremely insensitive. Likewise is "fat chicks".

 

Right. Anorexia is probably a worse thing to say to somebody because it's such a potentially serious mental health disorder. When somebody has that, there's a constant risk that they'll be sectioned for medical care...which can affect their chances of employment and can also have a very isolating impact socially. People tend to be reluctant to form friendships or romantic attachments with those who are highly likely to end up killing themselves through starvation - or by having a heart attack.

 

Third, you CAN NOT diagnose anorexia on sight. When I was struggling with it the most, a few men praised me for my slight weight. That was not helpful.

 

Exactly. It's very difficult to compliment my friend. To compliment her when she's really thin would a) encourage the disorder, and b) be a lie as she looks horrendous when she's really thin.

 

When she's forced up to a healthy weight, she looks great. However, if you tell her she looks great she'll grimace because when other people say "great" or "stunning" she hears "fat". She's only close to happy with her physical appearance when other people are worried that she's going to die on them.

 

Somebody like my friend feels validated in her "lifestyle" when she hears other women being fat-shamed. I wouldn't say it triggers or motivates her...because in her case, she's constantly driven to starve herself to death. It's not a case of having relapses after being triggered. But she would most likely be drawn to men who fat shame any woman who isn't extremely thin. She'd perceive them as "getting" her, and approving of all the things that cause so much anger, frustration and despair to everybody else in her life. That said, she does criticise people who make "triggering" comments. It's a strange condition indeed. It's like there's this tiny but absolutely lethal and unremovable grain of irrationality in an otherwise very smart, talented and logical person.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Taramere

[123321]

I can't see stuff like that. It's just terrible.

[xxoo]

So maybe you could say you were suffer4ing from anorexia but not yet anorexic. I suspect you will say all those suffering from anorexia are anorexic. To me anorexic is the physical manifestation of the condition. Being slender is not anorexic.

 

Being slender is not anorexic. I am still slender, but I am not even a little bit anorexic.

 

But "anorexic" is just the adjective form of anorexia. A person suffering with anorexia is anorexic.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Point is.. fat chicks shouldn't go around calling in shape people "anorexic" when it's an actual, medically dangerous, health problem.

Ah there we have it a stab at FAT CHICKS! Being a fat chick really doesn't have anything to do with misusing and understanding "aneroxia" or using it as a put down for a thin person.

[loveweary11]

Ah there we have it a stab at FAT CHICKS! Being a fat chick really doesn't have anything to do with misusing and understanding "aneroxia" or using it as a put down for a thin person.

 

Being a fat chick has*everything* to do with calling fit people anorexic. Who do you think does the name calling, other chicks that are in shape?

 

This isn't even close to a stab at fat chicks. Eat all you want... don't exercise, I don't really care.

 

What I do care about is watching some poor girl who works hard to be healthy get ridiculed and bullied by a little gang of fat chicks.

 

I'll go to bat for that odd girl out every time, as I did when one of my heavier employees attaked an in shape one, calling her anorexic.

 

To use that word describing a fit person, giving them a complex about a body in peak condition is disgusting.

 

So... I'll always come to the aid of the in shape one.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

This is really getting out of hand.

[Maleficent]

Being a fat chick has*everything* to do with calling fit people anorexic. Who do you think does the name calling, other chicks that are in shape?

 

This isn't even close to a stab at fat chicks. Eat all you want... don't exercise, I don't really care.

 

What I do care about is watching some poor girl who works hard to be healthy get ridiculed and bullied by a little gang of fat chicks.

 

I'll go to bat for that odd girl out every time, as I did when one of my heavier employees attaked an in shape one, calling her anorexic.

 

To use that word describing a fit person, giving them a complex about a body in peak condition is disgusting.

 

So... I'll always come to the aid of the in shape one.

 

Not only overweight people shame other people's bodies. Fit people do it too. Yes fit people skinny shame and fit shame other people!

 

Not sure why it pisses you guys off so much that some people have different priorities...

[PrettyEmily77]

I'm very fit and healthy and I have NEVER been called anorexic; NOT ONCE. People around me who are on the heavier side get called names and insulted and treated like sub-human slobs ALL THE TIME. See the difference?

 

 

I don't take any glory in exercising or looking after myself, I don't need applauses or other people bowing to me because of all the hard work I put into keeping in shape. I do it for myself only and not to attract men. I am also very lucky that I am in a healthy mental state most of the time and I keep in mind that not everyone is happy with themselves, whatever their shape or size or whatever else, like the lady in the pic. People who demean her are no better than people who demean bigger people, the majority I'd bet also have mental or emotional issues.

 

 

I find people ridiculing others for how they look a complete turn off and very unattractive, whether they are doing it to people who are too thin or too big.

[Taramere]

Being a fat chick has*everything* to do with calling fit people anorexic. Who do you think does the name calling, other chicks that are in shape?

 

This isn't even close to a stab at fat chicks. Eat all you want... don't exercise, I don't really care.

 

What I do care about is watching some poor girl who works hard to be healthy get ridiculed and bullied by a little gang of fat chicks.

 

I'll go to bat for that odd girl out every time, as I did when one of my heavier employees attaked an in shape one, calling her anorexic.

 

To use that word describing a fit person, giving them a complex about a body in peak condition is disgusting.

 

So... I'll always come to the aid of the in shape one.

 

I think you have to be very careful how you handle these situations. I agree that a group of women accusing a slim woman of being anorexic is bullying behaviour. Whether she is or isn't actually anorexic/bulimic. A former friend of mine one time sent me an email and a group of other women an email containing a picture of her best friend who had become very thin to the point of looking ill. She had written "check this out. Anorexic or what?"

 

I felt like flipping out at her for that. The temptation to do so is really strong, but sometimes you have to take a step back and ask yourself "will that actually help the person being bullied here?" So I wrote a private email to my friend (rather than a group one) expressing my concerns about a) her friend having lost so much weight, and b) the impact that possibly hearing about this circulated email could have on her friend. But I kind of tried to tone it as "I know you're concerned about her? What do you think would be a good, caring way of extending some support if it's needed?"

 

As far as the employee being picked on by colleagues goes...as others are saying, an eating disorder isn't necessarily a very visible thing. We talk about anorexia a lot, but really...bulimia is more commonplace. Most of the women with serious cases of eating disorders that result in hospitalisation will be bulimic.

 

I've known quite a few people who were bulimic. Always going to the loo soon after eating is one of the most obvious signs. There are quite a few pretty stomach churning behaviours associated with bulimia that you're more likely to be exposed to if you share bathroom facilities with a woman who's a sufferer. There are lots and lots of little tell tale signs...but confronting somebody with it in front of people and in a shaming sort of way is a terrible thing to do. Generally, I'll just try to create the sort of vibe where a person can disclose the problem to me if they want to....but actually confronting somebody with my concern that they had an eating disorder is something I would find very tricky indeed. It's an area that's fraught with potential problems.

 

What you, as an employer, should probably consider is the possibility that those women have picked up on bulimic type behaviour/indicators that you haven't picked up on. I'm just saying it's a possibility you should not rule out...I'm not for one moment condoning the way they've behaved. I would think that the most appropriate course of action would be to speak to the bullies one by one and tell them that if they have genuine concerns about their colleague's health then this is something they should raise in a very private, sensitive manner.

 

That you personally have seen nothing to indicate that she has this condition, that it's wholly unacceptable to throw out accusations. If any of them have genuine reason to believe that she is suffering from an eating disorder, then they should raise it with you (or HR) in an appropriate and sensitive manner. But that future occurrences of that sort of behaviour (publicly accusing a colleague of being anorexic/bulimic) will be treated as a serious form of bullying.

 

But fuelling any sort of "fat girl(s) versus thin girl(s)" conflict here just adds to drama and could trigger quite a few problems if the girl in question actually does have an eating disorder. And you don't know whether she does or not...because trust me, people with eating disorders are incredibly skilled at disguising those disorders from other people...and as others have said, a person doesn't have to resemble the girl in the picture to be suffering from an eating disorder. Often people will be managing the disorder with supports, but can quite easily be triggered back into a downward spiral.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Taramere

[gaius]

I'm waiting for an orange line train and two women who look about 50-100 pounds overweight are goofing on some not here skinny chick they think needs to eat something.

 

The world has turned upside down.

[thefooloftheyear]

"Meat for the man.....bones are for the dogs..."

 

 

TFY

[Mr Scorpio]

So... I'll always come to the aid of the in shape one one being ridiculed regardless of what shape she is.

 

That's very kind of you. The world needs more kindness.

[SpiralOut]

I think the problem goes deeper than calling healthy, slim women "anorexic" when they aren't. Yes it's extremely annoying.... BUT I think it indicates a general lack of compassion towards anorexic women (or men).

 

 

Sometimes, when someone spitefully calls me that word in front of a group of people, I wonder to myself "what if I really WERE anorexic? How would that comment make me feel?" Probably embarrassed, ashamed, angry, humiliated. That's not a nice way to approach someone whom you think might have a problem. It's appalling, really. If you think someone has a problem then you should pull them aside and speak to them privately. Ask them if they are okay. Tell them you've noticed they lost some weight, or are acting differently and that you are worried. Insulting someone for having a problem fixes nothing. It's shameful.

 

 

I get the impression sometimes that certain people are angry towards eating disordered people, or even have a holier than thou attitude. Give me a break.

[SpiralOut]

Being a fat chick has*everything* to do with calling fit people anorexic. Who do you think does the name calling, other chicks that are in shape?

 

This isn't even close to a stab at fat chicks. Eat all you want... don't exercise, I don't really care.

 

What I do care about is watching some poor girl who works hard to be healthy get ridiculed and bullied by a little gang of fat chicks.

 

I'll go to bat for that odd girl out every time, as I did when one of my heavier employees attaked an in shape one, calling her anorexic.

 

To use that word describing a fit person, giving them a complex about a body in peak condition is disgusting.

 

So... I'll always come to the aid of the in shape one.

 

I'll admit that most women who have called me anorexic have been overweight. However, there has been the occasional slim girl who threw that word at me. One of them was even thinner than I was!! I didn't even know what to say to that one. I mean really?

[guest569]

Sometimes, when someone spitefully calls me that word in front of a group of people, I wonder to myself "what if I really WERE anorexic? How would that comment make me feel?" Probably embarrassed, ashamed, angry, humiliated.

 

Spot on, its ridiculing someone and achieves nothing positive, could even make the issue worse.