Is my husband crossing the line with abortion advice or involvement?

[Jadey]

I really dont see wot the big deal is..Sorry

[Get real]

The only reason a woman asks A MAN about HIS opinion on HER abortion

is that it is HIS baby.

If you want to keep living with this kind of stuff, keep living with this guy.

YOU call the girl and tell her to keep her personal life OUT of your time with your man, that if she calls again and interrupts your time with your man that you will call the boss and tell all you know about her wanting time off and why she wants it. Tell her to call human resources at the job or to go to the baby's daddy to get advice, but to leave YOUR man alone.

 

The tell that flirting weiner that you have as a man that if he gets one more call from women from work that YOU will be taking the calls, and that it won't be nice.... so if he wants to keep "friends " at work, then he better keep them AT WORK.

This guy must not have enough to do at home.....

he has too much free time if he is yakking it up with women from work after hours!!

Do you know how to make a Honey-Do list for him ??

Make it !

[SoleMate]

Asking and giving advice on a deeply personal and life-altering topic like whether to have an abortion is something that SHOULD happen only between people who are VERY close, or a professional adviser (counsellor, doctor, midwife, etc.) Hey, this girl at work can do anything she wants - she does not have to conform to my expectations. Or yours. And apparently neither does your husband.

 

I don't get people not getting this. Why doesn't this unfortunate young woman with the unwanted pregnancy go and get advice from people at the nearest bus stop, or at a bar? She could quickly get to know them as well as she knows your husband.

 

And to me, that is the crux of this issue. This young woman can go from "total stranger" to "intimate confidant" OR "bed partner" in the wink of an eye. And your husband seems like a pretty easy-to-hit target.

 

If this were my marriage, I'd let him know that I cannot accept any kind of intimate discussion like this between him and another woman.

[magda]

I'm sure you've made your opinions clear to him, but you may have married a gossip instead of a tight-lipped executive. If that's his personality, he's not going to change overnight just because you and some people on the internet agree that his behavior is unprofessional (which it seems to be.)

[greenhorn]

I think one should segregate one's professional life and personal life. Giving advice about abortion to a colleague is totally unprofessional unless the colleague has become friends.

 

Lot of times we get good friends from colleagues and then it is ok, or else what is the guarantee that this will not boomerang, tommorrow the girl could come up with a different story woven out of this advice. There are chances that if he gets into this mode then there could be extension of this advice giving thing to those who have not solicited it.

 

There are lot many times in particular with project- mode jobs where you work with a team on a particular project for few months and then a bond develops, so one might be justified in those case but even then there should be a dividing line.

 

Giving opinion about buying a gift is different than advice on abortion.

 

I know of one case when one guy in high position (country manager) developed intimacy with one colleague and they slept together. Few months later that women charged the man with sexually exploiting her, the man had to go for out of court settlement, paid lots of dollars. The firm for which he worked fired him immediately cause firm had to keep its reputation.

 

Tommorrow the girl might say that it was his child and so he helped getting abortion, of course I am seeing things here, but it is hard to trust ppl these days.

[mutton]

your husband and his female co-worker seems to be more than just casual friends, perhaps even into the territory of close friends and further. A woman would have to feel very close to another man before she can confide in him for his advice on an abortion without the fear of him being too judgemental. There are men out there who would condemn a woman for even considering it. The fact that she is asking for his advice on abortion means that she must know your husband and his opinions very well--perhaps a little bit too well for comfort. The only positive thing is that your husband is not being too secretive about it--which shows that he does not feel that he needs to hide anything. It is likely that you are going to have struggle with him about his "friends" in the office. It is also possible that he may not stop his friendship with the female co-worker because you feel that it violates your marriage. He will just go to greater lengths to conceal it. I believe that casual friendship in an office is fine as well as slightly more personal friendship with those of the same sex. In this instance, it just shows that your husband has become a little too personal with the particular co-worker in question. The best thing to do is to talk with him about your feelings on him dispensing abortion advice to a co-worker that he supposedly "barely" knows. Make it clear to him that this is not about him cheating. Judge him by his reactions and see whether it something important enough--or a mistake great enough-- that you will need to take it to the next level.

 

Another thing. A woman who is interested in getting a man will most likely never reveal such a personal secret such as getting an abortion for fear that she may put him off--unless it is his baby. Also, beware of him giving out personal contact numbers--or receiving them-- to his female coworkers for anything other than a professional reason. This is the part that sounds the fishiest to me.