Chi townD Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Dude, it takes a very special kind of lady to be a military wife. You found out that she wasn't one of them. I think you just wrote that you're out after 12? Why? You were more than half way there? Well, at least you have the post 9/11 GI Bill which is an outstanding program. USE IT!! The military used you for 12 years, you use THEM for everything they can offer you! Start making positive changes in your life and heal. Start moving forward and you're going to do great things! Keep your head up dude. Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 My fiance cheated while I was deployed overseas. Don't they all? I hear about this all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 NO they don't ALL do it. Stupid thing to say. Plenty of great military wives. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Don't they all? I hear about this all the time. Untrue and unfair. Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 NO they don't ALL do it. Stupid thing to say. Plenty of great military wives. Some pretty good .mil husbands too if the ones I know are any indication. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Hey, I don't mean to be rude, can we keep on topic with my situation and not bicker about mistruths about the semantics of a military marriage. Unless you have been there, and done that, please do not comment. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Venue - Check DJ - Check Caterer - Check Florist - Check Wedding Planner - A big help with canceling everything. It is now official. Kind of sort of hit me. Like a brick. Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I imagine this beats the heck out of sitting around wondering when the next time will be. Thank you for setting a good example of decisiveness and effective action. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Venue - Check DJ - Check Caterer - Check Florist - Check Wedding Planner - A big help with canceling everything. It is now official. Kind of sort of hit me. Like a brick. So, I take it the Ex has stopped contacting you all together? Believe it or not, that would be a good thing. Helps you start healing. It wouldn't surprise me if she composes a "closure" letter to you to try and explain everything because she never got the chance. So, be mindful of that. It might be coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Actually, she showed up at my parents house and my mother slammed the door in her face. She has no way to contact me other then showing up. If in fact does compose a letter, I will not read it. I also found out (not that I wanted to know) she is still seeing the the boss. I have his first and last name now. Debating on contacting him. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I also found out (not that I wanted to know) she is still seeing the the boss. I have his first and last name now. Debating on contacting him. Perhaps (or has this been discussed?), does the boss have a wife? Let her know, just in case she should be tested for STDs... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Perhaps (or has this been discussed?), does the boss have a wife? Let her know, just in case she should be tested for STDs... I just recently found out he has a girlfriend, not a wife. I will see what can be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I just recently found out he has a girlfriend, not a wife. I will see what can be done. If I were you, I would contact the girlfriend. She has a right to know what kind of guy she's dating. I wouldn't contact her boss, what for? He didn't give a damn that your girl was engaged, why would he care what you have to say? And if you come back and say that he might not have known that she was engaged. He knew, and if he didn't, he knows now. Her life just blew up in her face and yet he's still sleeping with her. Kinda tells me, he doesn't give a sh*t. So, get in contact with his girlfriend. Tell her everything, the cheating, that he got your fiancé pregnant...everything. So, she can make an INFORMED decision on what she wants to do with her life and relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I just recently found out he has a girlfriend, not a wife. I will see what can be done. Don't work too hard on it brother. Let her go. Let them have each other. Be glad that she showed you who she really was before you married her. She sounds like a spoiled, self-important, entitled female who likes the attention of several men. She needs that attention to feel validated and to feel like she is desired. Such a woman does not make a good wife or lifelong companion. You seem to be a good, decent guy. There are loads of women out there looking for a real man like yourself. Your ex doesn't know what a real man is. She would rather have a skunk who cheats on his girlfriend and cheats with the fiancee of a serviceman. They are both trashy. Be well, and thank you for your service to our country. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I would tell the gf if you could , you know where you would be if your exs friends didnt tell you . Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I would tell the gf if you could , you know where you would be if your exs friends didnt tell you . Count me as a vote for telling her as well. She needs to know what type of B/F she has. As her friends let you know what she was doing. You have handle everything so good, you can pull this off as well. 2808 Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Actually, she showed up at my parents house and my mother slammed the door in her face. Good for your mom, but why in the name of heaven did your ex show up at her house? What could she possibly have been thinking? Yeah, no answer to that one, but, well, wow. What's next? Skywriting? Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Badass mom. Good for your mom, but why in the name of heaven did your ex show up at her house? What could she possibly have been thinking? Yeah, no answer to that one, but, well, wow. What's next? Skywriting? Some cheaters believe they can fix things even when there's enough proof to go around. She hoped that her future-in-laws loved her as a daughter and to manipulate them to pressure their own son to still marry her - well, it's desperation only from her. I wonder if she told her sidepiece that she was busted, otherwise he's in for one hell of a ride. Is it a big company by the way? Many employers don't take kindly to their employees spending their worktime hours for affairs, some even get fired right away. Perhaps you should contact the OM's boss while you're at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I know I'm being repetitive Robbie, but make your decisions based on your own best judgement and instincts. Everybody here means well, but your understanding of what's best for you trumps everybody else's, including mine. In all matters concerning yourself, you know best. Link to post Share on other sites
Sticky Fingers Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 RobbbiA, did you ask her friends if they had gone to her parents with the truth of her cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Well at this point, the name of the game is all about self preservation. Right now, I believe I come first. I have sacrificed so much of my life, I do not deserve what happened to me. About my mom. I guess you can say I come from an overprotective family. All my siblings are female (I have a twin sister as well) and I am the baby of the family. Having so many sisters can be intimidating if you are a girl trying to date me. I have been told that before. Part of the reason why my service in the Marine Corps was so long was I truly made a second family of brothers, I made many friends, and I lost many friends. I felt I had an obligation to continue what was started. I did get a college education while serving. The money is not the best, that is no secret, so I decided to get out and use my education. I was supposed to start a family, no I must start over. As far as her friends telling her family, the answer is not to my knowledge. They came to me first, as far as I know. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Well at this point, the name of the game is all about self preservation. Right now, I believe I come first. I have sacrificed so much of my life, I do not deserve what happened to me. About my mom. I guess you can say I come from an overprotective family. All my siblings are female (I have a twin sister as well) and I am the baby of the family. Having so many sisters can be intimidating if you are a girl trying to date me. I have been told that before. Part of the reason why my service in the Marine Corps was so long was I truly made a second family of brothers, I made many friends, and I lost many friends. I felt I had an obligation to continue what was started. I did get a college education while serving. The money is not the best, that is no secret, so I decided to get out and use my education. I was supposed to start a family, no I must start over. As far as her friends telling her family, the answer is not to my knowledge. They came to me first, as far as I know. Keep doing what you're doing Robbie. You're on the right path. And thank you for your service as a Marine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Robbie, I know you are hurting. The truth had to come out. You deserved to know. You are a diamond in the rough and you treated ****** like gold. What she did was horrendous and despicable. You put yourself in harms way many times, cheating death and sacrificed not seeing your family for long periods of time. Myself Denise and Angela could not in good conscience let you marry her. We don't even know who she is anymore. A lot of people are on your side. Call or text if you need anything. I truly am grateful for her former friends letting me not marry her. I feel lost. I am lonely. My rottie is glued to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 There are plenty of lovely ladies who'd love to keep you company, but it's a bit too soon for that, I think. Maybe just keep surrounding yourself with lots of friends and family? Of course, we're here too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobbieA Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 There are plenty of lovely ladies who'd love to keep you company, but it's a bit too soon for that, I think. Maybe just keep surrounding yourself with lots of friends and family? Of course, we're here too. I very much appreciate that. My family and friends are on my side, but ultimately I am the one with the tools to heal. If that makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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