Can't find anyone suitable who likes pets

[petsrule]

I'm on a few dating sites and the only people who have ever contacted me either have dogs or don't like pets at all. Problem is, one of my two cats is frightened of dogs (I suspect she had bad experiences in the past, she's a rescue). She's only 4 so she'll be around for a while yet (and she's one of the most important members of my family because long story short she's helped me though a lot despite her own issues) so I am not giving her away to anybody else. My question is do I try to teach her that not all dogs are scary (just in case I do start becoming serious with someone who has a dog) or do I remain single?

 

For the record, my other rescue cat is absolutely fine with dogs, she came from RSPCA after getting rescued from a home that had too many pets - you name it that home probably had one as a pet.

 

I'm nearly 26 and I have heard the older you get the harder it is to find someone and it's not helped by my mum saying "have you met anyone yet" every time I see her.

[La.Primavera]

There are plenty of people who love cats. Perhaps you should add "must love cats" to your profile. That will weed out unsuitable candidates right there.

[petsrule]

How do I tackle the whole my-cat-is-scared-of-dogs thing?

[La.Primavera]

How do I tackle the whole my-cat-is-scared-of-dogs thing?

 

If you start dating someone with a dog, don't invite the dog over.

 

This isn't something you need to discuss until you have been seeing someone for a while anyway. I guess if they came over you could say something like, "This is Peaches, she is afraid of dogs."

 

If you want to get it out of the way, just bring it up when you are talking about your pets. No big deal. No one is going to bring there dog in your house without your permission.

[carhill]

Given the circumstances and what I know of cats as a fancier, I'd probably be upfront about the pet situation, since these are your family members, either as part of the profile text or in early communications. There are plenty of guys out there without pets who are OK with cats and IMO that's probably going to be the least stressful solution for your family members, though it might cause more effort for you. Look at it the same as children for the purposes of guys liking or not liking or having of their own.

 

I've got an old male cat and I definitely wouldn't want to stress him out with new introductions of any kind so it would either be a pet non-owner or permanently separated domiciles, at least for his life. He was rehomed from a multiple pet situation and I know first hand, since I know the prior owner, that the situation had him launching fur all over the place and pooping everywhere (stress). Here he's calm and relaxed.

 

You know your pets best. Good luck!

[petsrule]

OK thanks, I'd love to have a dog but unless I can find a way to help her learn that not every dog is dangerous I need to avoid getting into a serious relationship with someone with dogs

[preraph]

Look some cats don't ever like anybody OR their dog. My sweet kitty who died at the age of 20 this year was quite put out every time I brought a new dog home, but she adjusted. They can always go hide. The main concern is that the dog is cat-friendly -- and you can't tell that until you have them around a cat! Moreover, you can't tell that until you have them around YOUR cat because for instance my dogs will still raise hell at a cat in the neighbor's yard but they know my cat is MY territory and that I'm protecting her and they know not to mess with MY cat. So it's a learning process when you blend pets together.

 

I've had some dogs I was worried about with cats, notably my lab mix and then later my border mix. The lab mix was positively rabid about cats around the neighborhood and I was worried. I'm still not sure she didn't kill a kitten I found one time. But when I rescued some cats, I protected them from her but one ended up staying (the one I said I had until she was 20) and she used to positvely jump out in the dog's face and dare her to come after her and it scared the dog to death. Then the border collie was so energetic that I was worried she'd play her to death. But oddly, the cat liked her, though she protected herself and never ran in front of her, which she knows makes a predator's instincts kick in.

 

One of the dogs I have now is overly defensive with everyone because she has a history of seizures, which makes other dogs attack her and people punish her for being surly, so I was extra worried. But by then my cat was old and wise and so I just gave her a paper bag and let her ram into it a few times, which sent the dogs screaming out the door to get away from her. She knew all she had to do is take off heading for that sack to scare the bejesus out of the dogs. They were right there together on the same bed when she was dying of old age.

 

So I had a couple of dogs I felt I had to keep separate for some period of time, but eventually once the dog understood this was my cat, I stopped worrying.

 

I learned at the zoo that anytime you are blending animals (even of the same species), you do it one sense at a time. So you first let them get used to their scent or the sight of them but not both at once. Let them smell their scent under the door for a couple of days. Or let them see them outside. It's less overwhelming.

[MissBee]

How do I tackle the whole my-cat-is-scared-of-dogs thing?

 

I don't think this is anything that really is going to be relevant early in the dating game. This only matters if you plan on living together, which won't come up until months or even years in.

 

If the person has dogs, the dogs will live at their house. Your cat doesn't need to go to their house neither does their dog need to come to yours. So if it's jsut a matter of that, then I wouldn't worry about it but would try to cross that bridge only when we're deciding on whether or not we should live together. Otherwise, it's a non-issue if you're just visiting and I assume when you go over to spend the night at a bf's you don't take the cat along and I've never known a man to spend the night with his gf and bring his pet along. So I don't see any of this really being a problem except in the case you're deciding to live in one house together. I think you're getting ahead of yourself.

 

As someone else said, find someone who likes cats first. Mention this on your profile, and then go from there.

[OldRover]

I don't think this is anything that really is going to be relevant early in the dating game. This only matters if you plan on living together, which won't come up until months or even years in.

 

If the person has dogs, the dogs will live at their house. Your cat doesn't need to go to their house neither does their dog need to come to yours. So if it's jsut a matter of that, then I wouldn't worry about it but would try to cross that bridge only when we're deciding on whether or not we should live together. Otherwise, it's a non-issue if you're just visiting and I assume when you go over to spend the night at a bf's you don't take the cat along and I've never known a man to spend the night with his gf and bring his pet along. So I don't see any of this really being a problem except in the case you're deciding to live in one house together. I think you're getting ahead of yourself.

 

As someone else said, find someone who likes cats first. Mention this on your profile, and then go from there.

 

Good post and I agree.. however, if the guy is totally against pets at all, it could be an issue later on, and one would have to make the decision if they will try to work it out.

 

I don't care for pets, but can put up with them for the right lady. Dated one with a dog and one with cats. I prefer the cats because they are less aggressive. The one with the dog really loved dogs, but this one bit me when I was in bed with her and she got rid of it. If she kept it I would have wanted it out of the bedroom. Getting bit really ruins the mood. The one with cats, the cat would come in and sit on top of me at the wrong time, a quick brush off, or just paying no attention worked. I really didn't care, but it didn't scratch or bite me. But don't need that much pussy.

[OrangeParty]

As a 28 year old with a cat and would rather be single than date a woman who doesn't like cats, you're a Cool Person now.