Why does my ex (the dumper) like to push my buttons when he sees me?

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

I am absolutely devastated... and FURIOUS.

 

I found out tonight that my ex, who left me 2.5 weeks ago, is already seeing someone else and may have possibly left me for her. I believe this because she said he is planning on being stationed close to her at his next duty station. That would be something pretty serious to commit to if they had met just after we had broken up.

 

What hurts me most is that I asked him in earnest on the phone the other night if he left me for someone, and if he was seeing someone new already. He told me and my mother on separate occasions that he wants to focus on his Army career and doesn't want to be with anyone for a long, long time. He lied. I told him if I knew the truth that I would never bother him again, and that it would help me move on, and he still lied to me.

 

She has a child, she's blonde and pretty. I feel insignificant now. They are skyping and doing all the cute things we did at the beginning of our relationship.

 

All those times I didn't trust him - when I found a condom in his pocket and hickeys on his neck - and he told me I was paranoid and wrong for feeling that way... it was all for something.

 

I am wondering if he met this girl while he was on leave in Georgia. He was a different person to me when he came back, and we hardly ever were intimate after that.

 

My head is swimming. I'm enraged, devastated and sick all at the same time.

 

Someone please tell me what to do. I haven't confronted him, but my friend did. I blocked him on all social media and on my phone.

 

How can I deal with this? I feel just as terrible as I did when he left me. Any progress I have made is gone.

 

Please help.

[elaine567]

All those times I didn't trust him - when I found a condom in his pocket and hickeys on his neck - and he told me I was paranoid and wrong for feeling that way... it was all for something.

 

I am wondering if he met this girl while he was on leave in Georgia. He was a different person to me when he came back, and we hardly ever were intimate after that.

 

My head is swimming. I'm enraged, devastated and sick all at the same time.

 

This, although you do not see it this way yet, is good.

This means you can move on cleanly.

There is no "if only we/I had done this or that", no "maybe we could try again", no "perhaps we could do things differently"... etc.

He most likely cheated (how on earth did you manage to lie to yourself re the condom and the hickeys?) - he gaslighted you there.

He moved on.

He has a new gf.

 

There is NO way back, you have a clear forward path to follow.

He is no longer an option, take time to heal yourself and move on.

Do not lower yourself to confront him - he already knows he cheated, and I guess so does she - you will just be labelled as the crazy ex if you do.

[Satu]

You should focus 100% on yourself and your own wellbeing.

 

He doesn't matter any more.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

I was naive to believe his stories about the condom ("I grabbed it off my buddy's dresser when I was drunk") and the marks on his neck ("I got into a fight and was choked and that's how I got the marks").

 

I'm an idiot and perhaps I deserved everything I got.

 

But I don't know why he lied to me the other night. I told him I needed to be able to move on and he flat out lied. My friend thinks he wanted to keep me as a fallback in case this girl doesn't work out. He kept their relationship hidden on social media.

 

I feel just as terrible as I did when he walked out of my door for the last time 18 days ago.

 

I feel so lost. I just want to be over this already. Now I know I'm always going to wonder why he didn't try to work on our problems, and what this girl has that I don't. I'm going to torture myself. I've even felt suicidal over this guy and now this.

[Satu]

I was naive to believe his stories about the condom ("I grabbed it off my buddy's dresser when I was drunk") and the marks on his neck ("I got into a fight and was choked and that's how I got the marks").

 

*I'm an idiot and perhaps I deserved everything I got.

 

 

*You're not an idiot, and you didn't deserve to be lied to and abandoned.

 

Why he did what he did absolutely doesn't matter.

 

He probably doesn't even know why he did it himself.

 

It maybe just felt right at the time.

 

Maybe it was just a sudden impulse.

 

Who knows?

 

Who can know?

 

What matters now is you properly caring for yourself.

 

**********************************************

 

1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, disappointed and angry, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce.

 

2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps.

 

3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right.

 

4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person.

 

5. Tell yourself frequently that you can and will love again.

 

6. Take care of your body:

 

Eat enough and eat healthily.

Drink enough water. Thats 1.5 litres for a female.

Get a bit more rest than you think you need.

Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous.

If you feel physically unwell go to see your doctor.

 

7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn.

 

8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media.

 

9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do.

 

10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate.

 

11. Post here as often as you want to. People will offer support.

 

************************************************

 

 

All the best,

 

Satu.

[Jimmyjackson]

You now know who he really is so you can move on. What you've just wrote, read it back to yourself and ask yourself, "do I really want to get back with that?"

 

The answer should be clear, after what he did you should be more inclined to move forward and not want anything to do with him.

 

I think it's a lot harder to accept a break up when the person who dumped you was good to you and didn't really do anything wrong, just didn't wanna be with you. The fact you know he's bad can help you here.

[Annie767]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

I just thought I'd try offer you a bit more perspective with my experience since everyone else has been so helpful with me.

 

I went through a breakup with my ex of 4 years nearly 2 years ago. The breakup was terrible. I had no idea what was happening or why. We were very happy as far as I was concerned. I had to leave our home.

Anyway a few weeks later, I found out. My ex gone back to his ex who was apparently 'psychopathic' in his words. I found out through a friend and confronted him about it. I wish I hadn't but honestly only a dose of tranquiliser would have subdued the absolute rage and humiliation I was experiencing. It was like something from 28 days later.

Anyway it hurt me much more finding out the details. He laughed about it.

To this day I don't know how I didn't end up in handcuffs.

A very good friend forced me to delete all his contact details and block him. I asked friends not to tell me anything about him. Like he never existed. May sound sad but my friend put a bottle of champagne in the corner of my kitchen and told me....when it all goes south for him we'll drink this.

 

That rage turned into something else, it turned I to determination and resolve.

Now I'm glad of it. I 'rode the wave'.

Fast forward to now and yes it did go south for him but I couldn't care less. The bottle of champagne remains unopened as I'm saving it for something much more worthy.

 

Now, although yes I'm going through another breakup, it is nothing like that one. And I don't regret the breakup for one minute, that betrayal confirmed to me what I knew but didn't want to believe.

 

Ride it!

 

Ps something I read a study of social baboons which helped me (don't ask me

How!)

When competing for top rank, The 'underdog' baboons showed fewer stress hormones when fighting for a top position. The alpha baboon, who was fighting to keep his position showed significantly higher levels of stress hormones and more signs of mental distress.

So now you're the underdog, use this rage to help you fight on.

He has everything to prove now. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[GoBlue]

I too am sorry for the situation and the pain that you are enduring. In order to move forward please understand that this is still very fresh. The new revelation has removed a scab that was starting to develop and seems to be a set-back, but it really isn't. I agree with the others that this can actually help you in the long run. I don't know why people who want to end a relationship have such a hard time simply telling the truth, but it is the same story over-and-over again. I guess most people have an innate desire to not be "the bad guy/girl." You will get through this, you will recover, and normality will return to your emotional life. Do you have any support group that you can lean upon for help? The biggest mistake that I made was to isolate myself while I was trying to recover from my divorce. Family, friends, and concerned others can be a big help. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be blessed!

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

I can't move on cleanly. A sane person would be able to, but one thing I need to be out on the open in order for people here to understand my posts and mindset is that I have TERRIBLE self esteem, daddy issues, anxiety, depression, possibly bipolar (as in I've seen a doctor about his stuff). I'm always going to wonder if the problems in our relationship were caused by me. I told him from the very beginning that I had emotional issues and that it would be hard at times. He said he understood.

 

He gave me physical reasons to believe he was cheating. Realistically can he go from running around on me to having a LDR with someone else?

 

I also find myself questioning the validity of our relationship now. Did he ever even love me? How can he be this cruel? He is one of the most immature guys I've ever known, yet he's entering into a relationship with someone who has a child?

 

It makes me wonder if there's something so spectacularly awesome about this girl that he's willing to change for her, when I tried so damn hard to fight for our relationship and what we had built together and he gave up.

 

Also, WHY SO FAST? If they weren't seeing each other before two and a half weeks ago, why is this girl throwing around the L word already? Why is she saying they are about to be official? Why is she claiming he will relocate in the army to be closer to her? It just seems so FAST.

 

And the thing that absolutely turns the knife is, when he broke up with me and in the aftermath, he said so much crap about wanting to be "alone" and focus on his career. Now he's already "with" someone else.

 

I just have so many questions, and yes they do matter to me because my self worth and self esteem has taken a nosedive. I slept two hours last night. My anxiety is at an all time high.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

One thing I forgot to add: do you think he possibly chose to enter into a LDR so he could still have a "relationship" while still being able to do his own thing up here? That was a big problem with ours- he wanted freedom to party and hang out with his friends without having the girlfriend waiting at home.

 

Thanks all of you for your words. I am just a mess right now. I slept two hours and can barely keep food down. The thing is, I was doing really well the past few days until I found out.

[na49]

You have no idea how normal you are for having all of these feelings lol.

 

It's okay to doubt your relationship after seeing your ex move into a new relationship so quickly. I have seen my ex leave me for someone else, get dumped by the guy after a month, pretend to want me back, and then date someone she met on a dating app a week later. This was the girl who spent 3 years with me, and had me convinced that she was really "in love" with me. Do you think my head was spinning?

 

This girl was probably in the picture before he broke up with you, and it might have influenced his decision to leave. She is "new and exciting" (for now) and you got "boring" to him.

 

It's really great that you found this out. Not for the short term, but in the long term you will not have any doubt. Sure, you'll probably hope they break up and he comes back. but right now, just try to look at him for who he is. (a lying, cheating scumbag)

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

You have no idea how normal you are for having all of these feelings lol.

 

It's okay to doubt your relationship after seeing your ex move into a new relationship so quickly. I have seen my ex leave me for someone else, get dumped by the guy after a month, pretend to want me back, and then date someone she met on a dating app a week later. This was the girl who spent 3 years with me, and had me convinced that she was really "in love" with me. Do you think my head was spinning?

 

This girl was probably in the picture before he broke up with you, and it might have influenced his decision to leave. She is "new and exciting" (for now) and you got "boring" to him.

 

It's really great that you found this out. Not for the short term, but in the long term you will not have any doubt. Sure, you'll probably hope they break up and he comes back. but right now, just try to look at him for who he is. (a lying, cheating scumbag)

 

I'd rather be able to process these feelings now than find out some other way and prolong the after effects of this breakup much longer.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you. How did you get over the hurt?

[na49]

How did you get over the hurt?

 

I'm still working on it. She left me 3 months ago, and it's been a whirlwind since then. It's settled down now that she is with a new guy, I haven't heard from her. I still hope to hear from her though.. I filter her emails to trash because I've blocked her everywhere, and check my trash folder every so often. It's pathetic really.

 

How I've tried to get over the hurt is just look at her for who she is. She's someone who needs to have a boyfriend at all times. She's someone who didn't care about my feelings when she broke up with me. (I should mention that she broke up with me twice, she came back after leaving me the first time) I realize that she isn't the only girl I can have a relationship with, so that gives me some hope.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

I'm still working on it. She left me 3 months ago, and it's been a whirlwind since then. It's settled down now that she is with a new guy, I haven't heard from her. I still hope to hear from her though.. I filter her emails to trash because I've blocked her everywhere, and check my trash folder every so often. It's pathetic really.

 

How I've tried to get over the hurt is just look at her for who she is. She's someone who needs to have a boyfriend at all times. She's someone who didn't care about my feelings when she broke up with me. (I should mention that she broke up with me twice, she came back after leaving me the first time) I realize that she isn't the only girl I can have a relationship with, so that gives me some hope.

 

Thank you. I don't think I will ever understand my situation. He strayed from the idea of marriage but will enter into a LDR with someone who has a child. I just don't get his mindset.

[BC1980]

Recovering from somebody doing a U-turn on their feelings or proclaimed intentions | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

I found this link to a blog that might help. There was an actual post on this blog that was called "Why Them and not me," but I can't find it. It spoke to exactly what you are asking.

[Shetland]

Hey, I understand how you feel and all the questions you are asking.

 

I'm a guy, but my ex also gave me a whole speech on focusing on her life and not getting into a relationship anytime soon. Next thing I know, she tells me she's seeing someone a month later. And they had gotten really close shortly before she broke up with me, so I'm sure something was going on even shortly before or after my breakup.

 

How can he/she do this? Does he/she have any idea how messed up this is? Is the other guy/girl so amazing to ditch a great relationship based on knowing the other for only a few days? What did I do so terribly wrong for someone to do this?

 

Think about these questions hard, evaluate everything, question everything, and then realize there will be no answer that will make you feel better.

 

I'm still in the works in figuring all this out, but I guess I'm further down the process. It's hurts SO BAD, but you must expect yourself to get better. It's a very slow process, but everyday you are healing by an extremely miniscule amount

 

Maybe there was something he didn't like about you. Maybe there were things you shouldn't have said or done.

But where he was wrong was seeing you as who you are, and not who you can be. Human beings are extremely resilient and have an unlimited potential in improving every aspect of their character both physical and mental. He didn't see that in you, but you must see that in yourself.

 

If you can prove to yourself and to life, that you can become 10x the person you are now, you will find yourself happy and surrounded by people who love you just as you are.

[BC1980]

Thank you. I don't think I will ever understand my situation. He strayed from the idea of marriage but will enter into a LDR with someone who has a child. I just don't get his mindset.

 

Yeah, been there and done that with my ex. It's amazing how people will change their terms. I totally get what you are going through. I went through it myself. My ex got engaged 5 months after we finalized the end of our relationship, so I'm sure that he had this other woman on the side for who knows how long. Honey, he used every reason under the sun that he didn't want to be with me. And all after he had bought the ring, and asked my parents if he could marry me. Even blamed it on his poor son. He said his son didn't want us to get married. But yet none of that mattered when he found this other woman.

 

People like that are not genuine at all. I could give you a dissertation on my ex and how he screwed with my mind and gas lighted me. I did feel crazy for a long time. He screwed with my head so badly that I felt d@mn near nuts. The experience was so traumatic and jolting, he did such a 180 that I think he must be a professional. A lot of us have been there. I think that the fact that you even searched out a sight to talk about your ex is a big clue that something is amiss. I've had three prior breakups, and I never searched the internet for help until this one. Never thought I needed therapy until this one. Never felt so confused until this one. I consider myself pretty even keel, nice, genuine, sane. Hell, this guy had me crawling away after he discarded me like trash. Had my self-esteem in the toilet. I had no clue who I was when he finished with me.

[BC1980]

I just have so many questions, and yes they do matter to me because my self worth and self esteem has taken a nosedive. I slept two hours last night. My anxiety is at an all time high.

 

I so wish that I could sit down with you and answer all your questions. Please read the website I posted because there is a lot of good info on there. One thing I will tell you is that it's not about you. Don't make his actions about you. Let him own what he did. That is the most important takeaway from all of this that I have learned.

 

All the questions and feelings you have are so common and normal. I promise. It's a process you have to go through.

[dyna85]

Thank you. I don't think I will ever understand my situation. He strayed from the idea of marriage but will enter into a LDR with someone who has a child. I just don't get his mindset.

 

Of course you can't understand his mindset. This is because he is not like you, character-wise. It's difficult to try to figure out people who are so confused even about themselves, like this guy.

 

Trust me, you're the lucky one in this scenario. Would you really want to be with someone who is capable of wreaking such havoc on someone's emotions? Someone who cheats and lies?

 

Don't beat yourself up for being naive to his bs. It happens to the best of us.

 

You WILL get thru this. You just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It will be a hugely bumpy and upsetting ride, as you are already experiencing, but you will grow so much from this, and this is the ultimate lesson in learning to love yourself. This guy did you a huge favor, which you will recognize in time. A hurtful and extremely painful lesson this is, but you will eventually look at this with clear eyes and be SO thankful. Have faith.

 

I know it's a struggle and you're in physical pain, but as Annie said - ride it. You just have to keep going, and let the anxiety be. Your feelings are totally normal, as unbearable as they may be. In time, the hurt will lessen.

 

This is a lesson you will take with you always. Not gonna lie though, it will likely take a while to heal. You have to be gentle with yourself.

 

18 days is nothing in BU time. Just do whatever you can to comfort yourself. You are your most important priority right now. Take the focus off of him and his stupid nonsense. He's going to keep causing problems for himself and others. That's no longer your concern. Now it's all about YOU.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

Recovering from somebody doing a U-turn on their feelings or proclaimed intentions | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

I found this link to a blog that might help. There was an actual post on this blog that was called "Why Them and not me," but I can't find it. It spoke to exactly what you are asking.

 

Was it this one?:

 

He?s with someone else ? Why her and not me? | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

I have actually read quite a few articles from this site. I'll have to check this one out.

 

In response to your other responses: did your ex and up marrying the woman you were talking about?

 

And it DOES feel like you've been tossed out like garbage. I feel lower than dirt. I DO feel like it's somehow my fault. He was just that good at convincing me of that.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

Hey, I understand how you feel and all the questions you are asking.

 

I'm a guy, but my ex also gave me a whole speech on focusing on her life and not getting into a relationship anytime soon. Next thing I know, she tells me she's seeing someone a month later. And they had gotten really close shortly before she broke up with me, so I'm sure something was going on even shortly before or after my breakup.

 

How can he/she do this? Does he/she have any idea how messed up this is? Is the other guy/girl so amazing to ditch a great relationship based on knowing the other for only a few days? What did I do so terribly wrong for someone to do this?

 

Think about these questions hard, evaluate everything, question everything, and then realize there will be no answer that will make you feel better.

 

I'm still in the works in figuring all this out, but I guess I'm further down the process. It's hurts SO BAD, but you must expect yourself to get better. It's a very slow process, but everyday you are healing by an extremely miniscule amount

 

Maybe there was something he didn't like about you. Maybe there were things you shouldn't have said or done.

But where he was wrong was seeing you as who you are, and not who you can be. Human beings are extremely resilient and have an unlimited potential in improving every aspect of their character both physical and mental. He didn't see that in you, but you must see that in yourself.

 

If you can prove to yourself and to life, that you can become 10x the person you are now, you will find yourself happy and surrounded by people who love you just as you are.

 

So are they still together?

 

What you said about him only seeing me for who I was really struck a cord with me, because I had told him so many times that if he'd only meet my halfway in the relatiionship, then I would be a lot more happy with him. He only thought in the present; the here and now. I can be an amazing person to be with when I feel like I'm valued a little more, and when I am not happy I will say something. Honestly, is that wrong? Should I not vocalize that as much in my next relationship?

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

Of course you can't understand his mindset. This is because he is not like you, character-wise. It's difficult to try to figure out people who are so confused even about themselves, like this guy.

 

Trust me, you're the lucky one in this scenario. Would you really want to be with someone who is capable of wreaking such havoc on someone's emotions? Someone who cheats and lies?

 

Don't beat yourself up for being naive to his bs. It happens to the best of us.

 

You WILL get thru this. You just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It will be a hugely bumpy and upsetting ride, as you are already experiencing, but you will grow so much from this, and this is the ultimate lesson in learning to love yourself. This guy did you a huge favor, which you will recognize in time. A hurtful and extremely painful lesson this is, but you will eventually look at this with clear eyes and be SO thankful. Have faith.

 

I know it's a struggle and you're in physical pain, but as Annie said - ride it. You just have to keep going, and let the anxiety be. Your feelings are totally normal, as unbearable as they may be. In time, the hurt will lessen.

 

This is a lesson you will take with you always. Not gonna lie though, it will likely take a while to heal. You have to be gentle with yourself.

 

18 days is nothing in BU time. Just do whatever you can to comfort yourself. You are your most important priority right now. Take the focus off of him and his stupid nonsense. He's going to keep causing problems for himself and others. That's no longer your concern. Now it's all about YOU.

 

In response to the bolder: about a month before our breakup, we had an argument and I got upset, left the house and went to the bookstore. I did some soul searching that night. I thought "Am I ever going to be happy in this relationship?" At that point I seriously questioned leaving him, as we had argued over our future together and he seemed uninterested.

 

So I guess I should not have been too surprised when we broke up, and I do know it was for the better. I think, though, that it's different when the person who gave more to the relationship does the dumping. When the more indifferent one does it, it feels like they gave up too easily since they never put forth much effort in the first place. It makes one question their worth. Finding out there's someone else in the picture now only increased those feelings tenfold for me.

 

I went out with a friend last night, but he wasn't out like he usually is. I know it's because he's invested in this new relationship now and spends the majority of his evenings Skyping with her, and that HURTS. Knowing I'm sitting there drinking my feelings while he's becoming more and more emotionally intimate with someone new is the most gut wrenching feeling in the world, and I don't know how to move on from this.

[BC1980]

Was it this one?:

 

He?s with someone else ? Why her and not me? | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

I have actually read quite a few articles from this site. I'll have to check this one out.

 

In response to your other responses: did your ex and up marrying the woman you were talking about?

 

And it DOES feel like you've been tossed out like garbage. I feel lower than dirt. I DO feel like it's somehow my fault. He was just that good at convincing me of that.

 

Yes, that's the post. I'd like to reread it again myself. In answer to your question, my ex is actually getting married tomorrow to the same woman. I guess he is anyway, or he was at one point. I remember the date because it was our anniversary. To be honest, I already felt tossed out like garbage long before I found out my ex was with this woman. They were engaged for a long time before I knew anything, so I was mainly wrestling with feelings related to what HE did to me. Not anything to do with him finding someone else. He had very much depleted my self-esteem during the relationship, so him getting rid of me just made it all that much worse.

 

When I found out he was getting married, the main emotion I dealt with (and sometimes still do) is anger. It's mainly anger that he showed little remorse and then went on to live a happy life. Of course, in reality, I know him, and he's got a slew of issues. I doubt he is living the life of Riley, but we tend to make it out like that. Feelings are emotion based, and often don't derive from facts of logic. We assume a lot, when, in reality, another person's behavior often has very little to do with us. We want to make it all about us when it's not. I really have no idea what his life is life, but I'm sure she has the same issues with him that I did. But I don't even care. I don't care how he feels about her, if he loves her or not. I just don't care because he is irrelevant to me. People usually end up reaping what they sow and falling on their own swords anyway. And to be honest, if something bad did happen to him, I wouldn't care at this point. I probably wouldn't even know about it.

 

But yeah, that feeling of being tossed out is normal. I used to say it felt like someone had thrown me out of the car with no map, and I was expected to find my way back to something with no help. I felt completely deserted and abandoned, and that's a pretty devastating feeling. It also feels like another person has stepped in an assumed my life, living in the same house we lived in, parenting his child in the way I did. Going on the same vacations we did, visiting his family the way we did. That is the really hurtful part, the realization that I was completely disposable to him. Because he wasn't disposable to me. But in the end, I don't want to be with someone who thinks I am just some object that is useful to him until I'm not anymore. And if I'm honest, I always felt that way, and it's no way to have a relationship. It's just not, and it's not worth it in the end.

Edited May 15, 2015 by BC1980

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

^^^ he is marrying someone else on your anniversary? What is WRONG with that guy?

 

I like the comparison of your breakup with the map. So true. It does make you feel lost, and when you've invested so much into someone and they're suddenly not only gone, but moving on, it sends you into a tale spin. Did he try to contact you much after the breakup when he was with this new woman?

 

I do feel, as do my friends and family, that he saw me as an object to be used as well. My mother thinks that he didn't come to get his things because he wanted a reason to come back someday, and that he wanted me to be a "fallback girl" in case this new thing doesn't work out, which may be why he kept it hidden from me even when I asked him.

[OldRover]

I'm still working on it. She left me 3 months ago, and it's been a whirlwind since then. It's settled down now that she is with a new guy, I haven't heard from her. I still hope to hear from her though.. I filter her emails to trash because I've blocked her everywhere, and check my trash folder every so often. It's pathetic really.

 

How I've tried to get over the hurt is just look at her for who she is. She's someone who needs to have a boyfriend at all times. She's someone who didn't care about my feelings when she broke up with me. (I should mention that she broke up with me twice, she came back after leaving me the first time) I realize that she isn't the only girl I can have a relationship with, so that gives me some hope.

 

NA,

 

Wow, I went through a VERY similar situation, only I did the breaking up, but the cause was what she did to me.... and went through it twice. Should have learned the first time. Sometimes you just can't "fix" someone. Both times she didn't waste a day finding a new boyfriend. The second time she had three dates within a week and a few weeks later is planning a week trip with one of them. She also needed a boyfriend at all times, regardless. I just don't care anymore and glad to be away from it.