Author SolidGoldTurd Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Your situation does not prove me wrong. They reached out with a letter. The kind of NC Ruby and others advocate would make even that impossible. (You can have the post office return all mail from a certain address to sender without you ever getting it. Most people just don't think of it.) They want them to do what Lloyd Dobler did. We learned from "How I Met Your Mother" with a really funny way of putting it it's the Dobler-Dahmer theory. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGyGEcEmQRg If your ex wrote you that letter and you had not been into it he could have gone to jail. So you want the dumper to risk a restraining order, a charge of harassment, etc to get you back. :/ Really :\ This all boils down to what I said about the forms of contact a dumper will use to reach out. I agree 100% with you. Number 1 being the most likely: 1. Texts 2. Email 3.Phone call 4. House visit 5. Letter. In this day and age, only a few will bother writing a letter to their ex. I can barely think of any scenario a woman would send a letter to their ex lol Texts are by far the most likely, because texts are the most common form of interaction in the 21rst century. So silly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SolidGoldTurd Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 You're talking about the dumper making the contact to get back..... I don't see it dangerous and reconciliation is in the hands of BOTH, as they will both have to agree. I'd suspect that with the dumper making the move, and has a reasonable explanation of why they did the dumping, the chance of getting back together would be very good. Also, an honest effort should be made, but some are a bit timid and elect to just give a positive message, however, if followed up on by the dumpee, that's probably a pretty good signal to precede with getting back together. Dumpers are obviously going to contact in a manner which is most comfortable for them. i.e less risks. But that's ONLY likely if the attraction for you is 51% or above. Any where below that and you won't hear from them again. The text you get from a dumper could be absolutely anything from "I miss you" to "Happy birthday". Face it ... someone who doesn't want anything to do with you isn't going to go out of their way to send you a text lol That's like if I sent a text to the prick who attacked me with a deodorant can and lighter ... Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 No offence but Corey Wayne talks crap... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin_D Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Settle down key board warrior Corey definitely has more success than you in life (not just women) What the...? How old are you again? Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 The kind of NC Ruby et al advocate doesn't exclude letters. Or genuine face-to-face meetings. It eliminates the lazy methods of half-ass contact that cause confusion and unneeded stress, wondering what exactly the dumper means. Its meant to allow the dumpee to heal without the sort of "Hey, how you doin'?" texts that may mean everything and may mean nothing. It by no means completely eliminates the possibility of reconciliation, but allows for time apart to truly examine the relationship, and determine if continuing on (were it to be an option) is even the best thing. And really, one sincere, well thought out letter does not a harrassment charge or restraining order make. Much better to receive one than play games with the dumper, and make them prove their commitment to getting back together. The NC method eliminates that back and forth, fishing BS. You can reasonably assume that they're serious if they have to go to.bit of effort to make contact. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Dumpers are obviously going to contact in a manner which is most comfortable for them. i.e less risks. But that's ONLY likely if the attraction for you is 51% or above. Any where below that and you won't hear from them again. The text you get from a dumper could be absolutely anything from "I miss you" to "Happy birthday". Face it ... someone who doesn't want anything to do with you isn't going to go out of their way to send you a text lol That's like if I sent a text to the prick who attacked me with a deodorant can and lighter ... Well, my situation was a bit different. I was the dumper twice, in which I got back with the lady. Once, I clearly thought it was over and there was little chance of getting together. I didn't mess with stupid texts... I called her and told her right out that I wanted to meet and talk, with the intent of getting back together..... It did take some time, but when she accepted my invitation for lunch, I knew there was a reasonable chance. The other time was easier as she really wanted me back in her life, but wanted to be sure I was sincere, so once that was done, I was back. However, in that situation, we both changed dramatically in the time we were apart, and made all the difference in the world. It all depends..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SolidGoldTurd Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 No offence but Corey Wayne talks crap... :laugh: Go read his book THEN you can tell me he speaks crap. I'm ready to bet you haven't watched many of his videos ... Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 :laugh: Go read his book THEN you can tell me he speaks crap. I'm ready to bet you haven't watched many of his videos ... Solid, Agree with you, Corey Wayne has a lot of good videos.... actually a ton of them and would take some time to get through them. They do lean heavily on the dating, early relationships and problems with same, but a few of his videos have good advice for LTR and marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Folks, when moderation starts seeing a name dropping fest mostly intended to drive people to for-profit sites away from LoveShack, we normally ban such people off our site, as this is a site to discuss one's own interpersonal relationships sans commercial content like selling books, videos, consulting, coaching, etc. Hence, if you wish to discuss the concepts related in the starting post and apply them to your real life experience and share the results, please do so. Continued name dropping or linking will find your posting privileges removed. Thanks! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Folks, when moderation starts seeing a name dropping fest mostly intended to drive people to for-profit sites away from LoveShack, we normally ban such people off our site, as this is a site to discuss one's own interpersonal relationships sans commercial content like selling books, videos, consulting, coaching, etc. Hence, if you wish to discuss the concepts related in the starting post and apply them to your real life experience and share the results, please do so. Continued name dropping or linking will find your posting privileges removed. Thanks! William, Perhaps you could give us your thoughts on this post. I read over the rules, and I don't see this addressed. I suspect your message was because of the mentioning of Corey Wayne. I realize that the first post contained a prohibited web site, which was understandably deleted, as it led to a profit making site. However, if one looks at YouTube, there is a ton of reasonably good, and free information there, that could possibly help someone. There's also several good sites and articles that contain free information, often really good stuff. What are the feelings of moderation in the mention a specific name or site, if not linked to profit, or quote some really good free stuff that helps people. I've got 90% of my help info free. (and, yes, I've paid for some, too, but will not post here). Thoughts? And thx. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 And my copy-editing is sh*t. Let's try that second sentence again. If they haven't contacted you in six months or whatever then subvert a block to contact you, they aren't going to get a harassment charge against them. No rational dumpee would threaten that. Are you kidding me? The US state I live in which is a typical midwestern one has a stalking no contact and harassment no contact order law which would cover most of the things you are talking about. If someone blocks a form of contact and you subvert it that is a Felony in this state and people have and will go to prison for it. This is a really interesting convo. A letter means something. Yet when I discuss my ex getting a job a stones throw away from my family home and researching the form of cancer my family is at great risk for*, and she knew that, means nothing according to most of you. *If your going to make peace with someone that beats most offerings. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 (edited) Settle down key board warrior Corey definitely has more success than you in life (not just women) Corey Wayne...blah. Are you Corey Wayne? Why attack a poster as if its almost personal? SmH Edited June 1, 2015 by fireflywy Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 There is no way this thread can continue without it being about a specific dating coach. Which is not allowed so this thread is closed. Link to post Share on other sites
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