My Ex Came back into my life After 10 Years.

[TommyRD]

My Ex Came back into my life After 10 Years.

I remember the first day i met her ( 11 years ago).

my heart flu high in sky like free bird.

She was my first and the only true love in my life.

 

I always felt, and i feel, that she is the only women.was able to make my heart fly, and touch the sky.

she loves me the same way.

we feel, we are a perfect match.

 

Her family wasn't happy with our relationship. because i am 8 years older than her.

she was student and getting support from her family.

she tried, her best to protect our Love.

nothing works, and the situation gets more complicated with time.

 

I moved to live in America. and left her in Europe.

I was looking for an escape, just to get away from everything.

I was in touch with her for couple of years as good a friend per emails. from 2004 to 2008.

even when went back to visit my family a did not see her.

-----My life in America--------

I got married 2005 here in the USA.

our marriage last for 8 years.

I wasn't happy in my life with my ex wife.

i do respect her and like her she is a lovely women.

but my heart was taken away from me.

Me and my Ex we decided to get divorced in easy and friendly way.

we still good friend until today.

 

-----her life in europe ------

she got married in 2012, and she has a beautiful baby girl, and a husband.

------------------------------

now we are 2015.

she found me on Facebook, and sent me a friend request.

i was so happy to receive her request and to found her again.

after accepting her request, i received her 1 message, first words after her last email 7 years ago.

" i am so happy to found you again.

I was thinking of all the time specially this past month"

 

'''i couldn't control my self , i told her i missed so much, and i am glad your are back again''

 

we still share the same feeling to each other like before nothing change.

except she has husband and baby girl now.

 

she is confused, between coming back to me or staying with her family.

we had nice talk through Facebook messenger.

 

sometimes i feel she want me to stay close to her more than a friend. and the same time keeping her family ( husband and her baby).

 

 

I am ready to have back again into my life with her beautiful baby.

 

the bird in my heart and my soul fly's only to sing for her.

.

I love her so much and i want her back.

but i don t want to hurt her husband feelings.

somebody is feeling going to be hurt.

hopefully, its not me, i felt so lonely for 11 years.

 

please advice.

do you really think she wants me back ???? or she just misses me.

[Ruby65]

Wow, I was so happy to start reading your story! I love a reunion.

 

But then you got to the part about her being married and having a 3 month old baby and it was like....oops.

 

 

The timing of this seems strange to me. Why did she wait so many years to find you on Facebook? Why now? Did you just start an account there?

 

Three months after having a baby.... well, she's probably exhausted. And the hormones are making her crazy happy/sad. And she's probably feeling really bored and trapped if she's a stay-at-home new mom and her husband's out working all day.

 

I could be wrong, but I'm thinking her reaching out to you at this point has more to do with dissatisfaction in her own life than wanting to be with you specifically.

 

Right now, she's probably feeling fat, bored, exhausted, overwhelmed, trapped, somewhat depressed -- a typical new mom.

 

If her husband isn't helping her enough with the baby, well.... I can see reaching out to an old flame because right now she's thinking he deserves it!

 

Just my opinion based on my own experiences with new motherhood. I don't think any of us here can say what she's truly thinking or feeling.... but on your end it's super shady to get involved with someone who isn't divorced or separated and has a new baby.

 

The whole situation, it doesn't seem right -- to me anyway.

 

I'd tell her how you feel and I wouldn't stay in her life as a "friend". She can contact you if/when she's left her husband -- but I wouldn't sign on to be her secret online cheating partner. Nothing cool or romantic about that.

 

Just my two cents.

[Mrlonelyone]

Are you now a naturalized citizen of these United States of America?

 

What Ruby said is very correct for this situation. Having a baby has to be messing with her head. However, her reaching out to you means something.

 

I agree with telling her how you feel, not being too much of a friend or initiating contact. Then try to move on as if she will never leave her husband. Don't even hope for it to happen.

 

She may, leave her husband and she may want to be with you, but don't press for it... let it be her idea. It may never happen.

 

As for you being a citizen

It is possible that she think of being with you as also being in the USA.

[TommyRD]

Thank you so much,

 

I will explain more.

i am 40 and dhe is 32 years old

She has 2 years girl.

She has full time job and works as teacher .

She told me that life on couple its not easy for her.( with her husbsnd )

She told me she respect her husband, but she has more feelling to me.

She did ask me, if i have plan to move back to Europe.

She told me that she was looking for me, because she misses me .

Throught facebook chat she telles me everything we had before and she misses all this good times.

But she want to be close to me as friend or more.

I tlold her that love her and nothing is late.

 

She not talking to me for 2 days now through Facebook messenger

Edited May 25, 2015 by TommyRD

[Ruby65]

Are you saying her child is now a toddler and she's back to working fulltime? I'm not sure how that makes her any less exhausted or emotionally unstable.

 

But look, this is just my opinion, but to me it looks like you're completely overlooking the fact that this woman is trying to begin an affair with you -- and what that says about her character.

 

She's not even saying she'll leave her husband for you. She just wants you in her life in an undefined way so she gets to have you both.

 

What she's doing is actually pretty sleazy -- but you seem to see her in this overly idealized way.... which is probably WHY she's suddenly decided to look you up after all these years!

 

It must seem very romantic compared to her real life: it sounds like she's overworked, exhausted, likely resentful of her husband for not helping more, feeling under-appreciated and probably there's not a lot of sex or romance going on between them right now.

 

I think she's unhappy at the moment... and instead of working on herself and her marriage, she's looking for some ego strokes and escapism into a fantasy relationship with her old flame.

 

But you might want to consider this: if she's up for lying to and cheating on her husband... how can you expect her to treat YOU any better? How can you expect that she'll be careful not to break YOUR heart, or lie to YOU?

 

 

I'm still wondering -- why did she wait seven years to contact you? Is your Facebook account new?

 

If her feelings for you are so much stronger than for her husband.... why wait seven years to reach out? Why marry him and have a child with him?

 

Pretty shady. Just saying.

[TommyRD]

thanks Ruby65,

 

I will try to answer your questions just to give you better view and understand,

what she is really looking for.

 

this is what she told me or i understood

 

She is exhausted from working and wants to take brake from everything.

school, her husband....

 

 

I do believe, and feel she is an angel. ( i Love her so much and my heart see her always as an angel ).

 

I am trying to control my felling and think wisely about evrything.

 

her first message to me was " i am so happy to found you again.

I was thinking of all the time specially this past month"

she missed me so much.

 

 

i had my Facebook page for almost 3 years (but without picture ) .

i just added mu pictures 2 months ago.

 

 

 

 

to answer this question ( why she waited 7 years)

 

we lost contact through email from 2008 until today ( my hotmail address was locked and i lost all her contact information's ).

 

after losing the only contact way ( email ) I did understood that she tried to move on in her life.

( family, home...)looks like didn't workout for her in good way.

[Ruby65]

She's cheating on her husband.... and she's an angel?

 

I think you're in for a rough ride, my friend. I don't think you're seeing her for who she really is.

 

Good luck to you, though! I hope it works out.

[TommyRD]

Thanks Ruby65,

I really apreciate your advice and Time.

as you know love has no limit, no distance, no time.

Thats why my heart is leading.me without thinking.

Again thanks.

[forumman83]

Why don't you simply set up some sort of date or a weekend together and make sure the sparks are still there?

 

 

A lot can change in 10 years and who knows if she still loves you.

[TommyRD]

I have plan to see her next vacation.

(She lives in Europe 10 hours flight from ths LA )

[BC1980]

I really apreciate your advice and Time.

as you know love has no limit, no distance, no time.

Thats why my heart is leading.me without thinking.

Again thanks.

 

I wonder what her husband would say about that. So you're really okay with breaking up a family? And she is okay with that too? That says a lot about the both of you. You don't even seem to care about her being married, having a child, and how that might affect any of them.

 

You're right. Your heart is leading you, and you are not thinking. She is going to burn you badly down the line.

[TommyRD]

first thank"s for reading my story and giving me your opinion.

 

if you go back to first post you will find that i already said it.

" i don t want to hurt her husband feelings"

 

I don t want to hurt anyone's feeling.

 

I had to let her go before, and i am ready to let her go again.

 

But if she is not happy with her life what you want to me to do ?.

 

I decided to give her time and let her make her decision by her self. without having me in the middle of anything.

 

if she wants to stay with her husband its her choice.

 

I want her to be happy that is all.

 

if she decide to be with me i will take her of her and her child.

 

I am not doing anything to her life.

 

she came back to me, what you expect me to do.

 

that its why i am here, to get advice and opinions.

Edited May 26, 2015 by TommyRD

[BC1980]

If you continue down your current path, you will hurt her husband's feelings. I'm sure you don't want to hurt anyone, but it's apparent that your own happiness comes before hurting someone's feelings. I also don't think that she has come back to you. It's all very fuzzy what she wants exactly. I would advise you to step away from this. Tell her to take care of her business, get a divorce, ect. Then, when she is free to start a new relationship, she can seek you out if she is serious.

[TommyRD]

If you continue down your current path, you will hurt her husband's feelings. I'm sure you don't want to hurt anyone, but it's apparent that your own happiness comes before hurting someone's feelings. I also don't think that she has come back to you. It's all very fuzzy what she wants exactly. I would advise you to step away from this. Tell her to take care of her business, get a divorce, ect. Then, when she is free to start a new relationship, she can seek you out if she is serious.

I like your advice.

Its the best decision to do.

I want her to be happy.

I am glad i live here in the USA and she live in europe.

We are far from each other.

She will have time and clear view to make a decision.

I wish her all the happiness of this world.

If she decide to stay with her family. I will move on with my life, and keep her love and every moment we had together as beautiful gift from this life.

[Mrlonelyone]

TommyRD

 

This is going to be crummy advice from a moral perspective. "If they'd do it with you they can do it to you" etc. There is something to be said for being a bit selfish about this.

 

You both moved on move on and now you have another shot at it. Take that shot or you may regret it for life.

[TommyRD]

Thanks Mrlonelyine,

My heart is teeling me to give her chance, And follow his path.

 

But after she became free .

 

She has time to make decision .

[minimariah]

she loves me the same way.

we feel, we are a perfect match.

 

i think you're her little escape from reality, seeing how you're on two different continents -- it's safe.

 

the truth is - you don't love her because you don't know her. you love the woman she was 10 years ago and i assure you she's different, especially considering the fact she was a young adult back then. you're in love with a projection & a memory, not a reality -- you've been pining away for it for YEARS & you heavily romanticize it, that's your biggest problem in my opinion.

 

will she leave her husband to be with you? i highly doubt it. too much fantasy, too little reality.

 

good luck.

[SolidGoldTurd]

One thing I'd like to point out ... NEVER ask another women for advice on another woman. This is for break ups, hiccups in a relationship or dating advice.

 

Second ... let them do all the chasing if they dumped you.

[CarrieT]

the truth is - you don't love her because you don't know her. you love the woman she was 10 years ago and i assure you she's different, especially considering the fact she was a young adult back then. you're in love with a projection & a memory, not a reality -- you've been pining away for it for YEARS & you heavily romanticize it, that's your biggest problem in my opinion.

^ ^ OP, re-read this ^ ^

 

 

You are romanticizing this woman based on a decade-old infatuation - not reality as it is today.

[TommyRD]

i think you're her little escape from reality, seeing how you're on two different continents -- it's safe.

 

the truth is - you don't love her because you don't know her. you love the woman she was 10 years ago and i assure you she's different, especially considering the fact she was a young adult back then. you're in love with a projection & a memory, not a reality -- you've been pining away for it for YEARS & you heavily romanticize it, that's your biggest problem in my opinion.

 

will she leave her husband to be with you? i highly doubt it. too much fantasy, too little reality.

 

good luck.

Thanks Minimariah.

 

I know that we didn't see each other for 10 years.

I have new pictures from her, she is beautifull like before.

Beautifull as my heart see her and feel her.

She came in time where i am looking, for a heart . And a true love . To feel alive again.

Its my destiny to have her again ???

 

I do beleive she is missing something in her life .

That its way she is back.

I feel she just wants me to be around as a nice history, but next to her in reality.

Edited May 27, 2015 by TommyRD

[Ruby65]

If she'll lie to her husband... and cheat on him.... she's just as likely to lie to you and cheat on you!

 

This is who she is -- someone who has affairs when she's not happy with her current relationship.

 

I don't really understand how you can romanticize lying and cheating and breaking up a family, OP.... but whatever!

[No Limit]

OP she wants you for an affair, simple. Do her family a favor and inform her husband before you leave, chances are she's so broken down that it impacts the family peace at home anyway (and nobody can tell me that someone searching the internet for attention is an efficient parent).

[erklat]

OP she wants you for an affair, simple. Do her family a favor and inform her husband before you leave, chances are she's so broken down that it impacts the family peace at home anyway (and nobody can tell me that someone searching the internet for attention is an efficient parent).

 

Don't do this. Making sure your not the one who breaks her family is your concern.

Her husband and child are not. You're over the threshold of living your life and living

hers if you do this.

[No Limit]

Don't do this. Making sure your not the one who breaks her family is your concern.

Her husband and child are not. You're over the threshold of living your life and living

hers if you do this.

 

So having a long term affair would be alright but not telling the husband so he can prepare everything to get the situation at home solved? I'm just waiting for OP to say he's moving to Europe, that woman wouldn't waste a week to move into his place and leave her kids behind.

[TommyRD]

I want to thank all of you.

As a said before , my ex will decide by her self, what she really wants.

I do beleive that, I have the right to get her back if she is free a women again.

"Divorce" exist, and couple do it when they are not happy.

I will marry her and i will take care of her child as my child.

I am not destroying anyones family.

I am just getting back my only true love .