ma3x Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Hi I am new to this, but here we go. I am very depressed today. My H of almost 9 yrs. and I have been through the ringer and back. We have separated in the past (2 diff. times), have three children, live at my p's house, where I take care of my g.father and family(because I stay home), have been verbally abused and dished it back, struggled to pull us out of debt and did it sev. times, and now after all of these years been sh** again! He finally admitted after getting caught...kind of... that he's an addict to Coc. Blindsided me!! I thought that he was possibly using again but I had no idea how bad it was. He went away to rehab and now has been home since Easter. Making promises that he isn't keeping. Hurting me over and over again...But I am trying not to let him this time! I have been doing a lot of searching and am now coming to terms with the fact that I am a Codependent. Not to his use of drugs but to this whole screwed up life style! I am trying to start to figure things out but it is very hard! Is it so wrong to just want devoted Love? Is it so wrong to just want to constantly be cared for and friends to someone? I hate this!! But I am so sick of being ignored until he needs something. I can deal with the addictive personality type and disease of addiction but the cold heartlessness that i get is becoming very unbearable. Sorry i just really needed to vent!!!!!! I would love to hear from anyone... I am just really sick and tired of being sick and tired. Thanks again! S Link to post Share on other sites
leona Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 dear ma3x i have been in a relationship with a man for 15 yrs who at one time i loved dearly. The last past 5 yrs we have lived separately because he is a cocaine addict. Take it from me it only gets worse. I have been there for many times, helped in rehab, tried to get him back on his feet, and does fine for a month or two, then he starts using again. I myself have been to counselling to try to understand how someone could live their life like that,and i still don't know why. Sometimes i think that i am just a stupid because im the one that is always there for him,make sure he has food to eat(because all of his money goes on drugs), do his laundry,make sure he has a place to live. At one time he was the love of my life now i feel like I'm his mother. You should try to walk away before it gets worse. Link to post Share on other sites
NYC Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 I am replying to the women who said that they are with men who are drug abusers and I just want to let them know that no matter how much they love these men and no matter how much they try to help them, until they are ready to seek help for themselves the women's attempts shall forever be futile. I was married to a man for 10 yrs & for 10 yrs he used crack cocaine. I thought that my love and me being faithful to him, our daughter would help him to stop. I did not realize then that I had become a co-dependent in all of this, and I was hurting him more than I was helping him because he knew that he could mess up & come back home time and time again. Thankfully after so many years of allowing my-self to be duked and sucked back in to his webs of lies I left him and went on with my life. I still was afraid to let go completely so I did not divorce him until about 5 yrs later. I kept hoping that he would get better & stop using but he didn't, & still hasn"t. We married in 1990, we had our child in 1991. It is 2005 he's still using he's back & forth in jail my daughter has not talked to him in months. To anyone involved in a situation like this I say get out!!! Let your spouse do what they have to for themselves and maybe once they have gotten themselves together maybe one day you can work it out. Link to post Share on other sites
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