cg9328 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] I don't know what to do. Let see if i can make this short. Ok been dating this girl for almost four years. started dating when I was 18 and she was 17. through out the relationship we talked about marriage. She wanted to and I was still kinda fuzzy about it. well in the meantime she went to college 200 miles away and I figured that I did want to get married. But now she is all wishy washy about it. I am now 22 and in the work environment and she is 20 (will be 21 in july) and in her junior year of college. It has been just this last year that her feelings are going crazy. She has told me that the thought of marriage make her feel sick to the stomach. And of course i want to get married. She has also told that she doesn't want to loose me. Her work schedule at school would make anyone wonder how she pulls it off. all together she avg. 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night. the rest of the time she is always doing something. Just recently she has started talking to me about how she feels about marriage. I feel that she is a commitmentphob. But I don't know. I love this girl with all I have and she knows it. She has also told that she is scared that she might let me down. I have told her that I am willing to take the chance. I would love to spend the rest of my life with her. I have had people tell to just purpose to her. I know we are both still young and we have our whole life ahead but I am really looking for what i should do. Should I purpose to her or should I just wait it out till she decides what she wants? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you've been dating her for four years I wouldn't say she has commitment issues. You both met when you were very young and you need to understand that some people, even if you haven't, can change dramatically as they mature and find who they are on the inside. You have been an important part of her life for four years but in all reality you may not be the person she wants to spend her life with. You have to be prepared in case this is what the issue is - she may not want to marry you. I don't think proposing to her at this time would be good. She has already communicated to you that she isn't interested in getting married. Why would you put her in this position? What you might end up with is a woman that tells you yes simply because she can't stand the thought of hurting your feelings only to turn around right before the wedding and tell you she can't marry you. You'd be making a big mistake by forcing her hand so to speak. My question to you is why are you in such a big rush to get married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cg9328 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 I'm not in a big rush to get married. she poped the question "do you ever see yourself getting married" and told her that was wanting to get married but not till she gets out of school at the earliest. that was two years ago. now that she has had a year to think about it she is really freaking out. I have told her here recently that we both need to get know each more, even more than we do now. I personally think the distance is a issue here. When she is home for the summer everything goes great. its when she is at school when things really start to heat up. I go and see her at least twice a month if not more. basically when I get a free day I go and see her. I am putting forth the effort and i think that might scare her. she told me that I am really the only person who she has cared for this deeply. I don't know if its just graduating and having to face life or the fear of having someone always there for her. Thank you for advice..... Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you're not in a big rush to get married and she still has to finish school why are you contemplating a proposal? Link to post Share on other sites
bigbuffs Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Don't rush into it. Make sure you are both 100% sure that you want this. If someone is on the fence it will not work. I suggest waiting until she is out of school. When my wife of 5 years graduated school, she started changing and started feeling different about me and that has led to a lot of problems including our separation. Take your time, you both have a lot of life yet to live. Link to post Share on other sites
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