kikilish Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Ok...here goes....My bf and I have 2 children 4 months and 18 months. We do not live together and he works odd hours ( 12 hour days with 3 days off graveyard) so during the week we rarely get to see him because he's alseep . He does attempt to get up early b4 he goes to work to see us but normally its only 15 - 30 minutes that we get to spend together as a family. My problem is that I feel he takes advantage of me and doesn't spend enough time with us. A little back story b4 I had my 4 month old my bf would sleep ALL DAY on his days off....He would stay up all night the last night he had to work and then sleep all day....I know this goes with the territory cuz I have worked the graveyard. My problem is during the times he would stay up at night and our baby (the 18 month old) would be crying he wouldn't get up to see what was wrong with him (i would spend the night). Now he would be on the computer chatting or doing whatever and I would be asleep. I see it this way...He's awake so he could at least come and pick him up and feed him..nope didnt happen....I was sooooo grateful when he started sleeping through the night. Ok...now the problem is THE MOTORCYCLE... it wasn't my daughters birth that made him change his ways of sleeping all day and staying up all night. Its because now he has a motorcycle now (with my help) and he says all he wants to do is ride. And he has assured me that most likey he will do A LOT of riding this summer. The problem I have with this is I feel he doesn't spend enough time with me and our children. B4 the motorcycle and my daughter he acted like we (my son and I) weren't enough to get him out of bed...we would go to his house and he wouldn't even get up. Now when we go over he gets up so he can RIDE....this irritates me to NO END......and he stays out for 4, 5 6 hours at a time with no word whatsoever. Now I know he needs time for himself but so do I. His excuse...He works and I dont but you know what i worked RIGHT UP TO THE DAY my son was born, it was my off day from work and then 6 months taking care of him basically all by myself I get a job and when I get home he says 'he's all yours i need time for myself'....AHHH......and then you know what AGAIN I work RIGHT UP TO THE DAY our daughter is born and currenly im not working but it wouldn't make any difference because I dont get any free time myself, not when im working or now. I dont know am I being selfish to expect him to spend time with us? I'm tired of arguing because I tell him whats wrong he apologizes and does the same thing the next time he's off....im at my wits end what should I do????? Link to post Share on other sites
meagain Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Break up with him. Do you really need his support? Does he support you and his family?? Sounds like he got you pregnant with two children and now your left on your own to care for them. Have you been dating long?? Is there any inkling that you will marry this guy in the future? I ask this because besides the kids you have no ties to eachother - heck you don't even live together - and by the way, why not?? Sounds like he wanted kids, got them and now has his own life to attend to.... this is really sad. Make your own life, obviously he does not want to be in the kids or your life - only when it is conveient to him.. right there is the red flag to jet. Hope all works out but be strong and move on. There will not be a child custody issue - he will give them to you, he already has./ Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Why is it the 2 of you have 2 Little People together, are still together as a couple? BUT don't live together? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts