An interesting OLD experiment: "leagues"

[ZA Dater]

I decided a wile back to go back onto Tinder and as many know tinder you simply like people who look appealing. I made sure my pictures were as nice as possible and I then decided to just like everyone and see who liked me back.

 

People often type about leagues and so forth and this is where things became interesting.

 

Every and I mean EVERY single person who liked me back was obese, not one of the better looking ones ever liked me back. Does that mean my league is obese people.

 

How does ones self confidence not take a knock, this pattern has been repeated on other OLD platforms over the last 5 years or so and I have to admit many of them simply wanted the physical side of things.

 

Is it ok to be irritated that nobody decent looking likes me back?

 

I think though fundamentally OLD as a platform doesn't work for me at all, in many ways I regret ever signing up 5 years ago because yes I met people but there was never any positive at all that came from them and to an extend OLD simply fuelled a harsh degree of cynicism.

[Toodaloo]

Obese people have taste too...

 

Perhaps they like your eyes or something written in your profile...

 

Seriously - Its OLD take everything like that with a pinch of salt.

 

My bosses went through liking a whole heap of people when I nipped to the loo once...

[ascendotum]

Every and I mean EVERY single person who liked me back was obese, not one of the better looking ones ever liked me back. Does that mean my league is obese people.

 

How does ones self confidence not take a knock...

 

Is it ok to be irritated that nobody decent looking likes me back?

 

lol. sorry dude but ummm kind of yeah in the somewhat distorted virtual world of OLD yeah that's your equivalent. There is not enough slim build women to meet demand so they come with a higher price. With the hookup aspect of tinder, it will be more brutal than relationship dating. I still think for some women their hookup expectations will influence their relationship expectations to a certain degree with OLD. Stick to trying to market yourself to the bext of your ability with face to face chat ups.

[ZA Dater]

lol. sorry dude but ummm kind of yeah in the somewhat distorted virtual world of OLD yeah that's your equivalent. There is not enough slim build women to meet demand so they come with a higher price. With the hookup aspect of tinder, it will be more brutal than relationship dating. I still think for some women their hookup expectations will influence their relationship expectations to a certain degree with OLD. Stick to trying to market yourself to the bext of your ability with face to face chat ups.

 

I am useless at face to face chat ups because I can never find anyone interested in me who I am interested in.

[ascendotum]

I am useless at face to face chat ups because I can never find anyone interested in me who I am interested in.

I know its not easy for some people, and very much for that reason. Many here will say its a numbers game and to take as many opportunities to chat up many women, but if the knock backs far out number the positive receptions it can take a toll on your self esteem...which if it shows just makes it harder. Quite a few here will say if a guy does not do too flash IRL, then OLD is not going to save the day, and in fact its more judgmental. imo you have better chance to IRL to try and win a girl (better than you could meet on OLD) over that you can interact with over a period and build a bit of rapport with.

[ascendotum]

You are from SA. Are a lot of the people there overweight? In the city during lunch hour are there lots of slim build women strolling around?

[ZA Dater]

You are from SA. Are a lot of the people there overweight? In the city during lunch hour are there lots of slim build women strolling around?

 

Obesity is a big problem, as a % we are roughly on par with the USA which considering our lower population is quite shocking.

 

Sure, in the city there are people but cold talking is pointless if she has bf already which the vast majority of them do.

 

Then they want to club which I don't often or then they want to drink which I don't do and woe be tide if one dares not do something society considers normal.

 

Had 6 matches on Tinder today, all were obese and 4 of them had kids.

[ZA Dater]

I know its not easy for some people, and very much for that reason. Many here will say its a numbers game and to take as many opportunities to chat up many women, but if the knock backs far out number the positive receptions it can take a toll on your self esteem...which if it shows just makes it harder. Quite a few here will say if a guy does not do too flash IRL, then OLD is not going to save the day, and in fact its more judgmental. imo you have better chance to IRL to try and win a girl (better than you could meet on OLD) over that you can interact with over a period and build a bit of rapport with.

 

To give you an idea, no matter what platform be in IRL or OLD I have never had a positive response ever. The last one I thought I had a chance with but like the rest it was just utter rejection.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I have not noticed this plethora or contingent of obese women online. There are women who are a few pounds overweight and full figured (5'5", 170 lbs ballpark?), none of whom have any problems getting dates I assume. Are you talking about them? What do you mean by obese?

 

I have seen a couple of women who are obese and in their late 40s/50s, whom did not have anything in common with me.

 

I'm going one more shotgun round with the OLD, and then I'll do a short writeup, and it will be real and genuine and honest. I hardly know what to believe reading stuff here sometimes.

 

I have been rejected dozens of times without so much as a response from those women though. That much is 100% true.

[ZA Dater]

I have not noticed this plethora or contingent of obese women online. There are women who are a few pounds overweight and full figured (5'5", 170 lbs ballpark?), none of whom have any problems getting dates I assume. Are you talking about them? What do you mean by obese?

 

I have seen a couple of women who are obese and in their late 40s/50s, whom did not have anything in common with me.

 

I'm going one more shotgun round with the OLD, and then I'll do a short writeup, and it will be real and genuine and honest. I hardly know what to believe reading stuff here sometimes.

 

I have been rejected dozens of times without so much as a response from those women though. That much is 100% true.

 

Obese has no allure for me at all. Absolutely......none.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Obese has no allure for me at all. Absolutely......none.

 

What is your definition of obese though? Whoever you are, you still have an idea in your mind of what obese is.

 

Because if you think it's women who are 5'1" 140 lbs, 5'6", 180 pounds, 5'9" 210 lbs, I'll tell you women of that body type have no problems getting men whatsoever.

 

They didn't post but go google some photos of women who are 5'5" 210 pounds and tell me if they have any trouble getting men. Those women who are morbidly obese have trouble likely, but they are relatively rare.

 

The irony of the intention of your post is that in reality it is even HARDER than you suggest.

Edited May 26, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[bebe23]

OP must be 'fat girl cute.'

 

You see, there's cute and then there's 'fat girl cute.'

 

Regular cute is the ideal man. Cute face + ripped, athletic, muscular body.

 

'Fat Girl cute' is someone we bigger ladies (I'm not obese but I'm the type JuneJulySeptember described) would find approachable. It means either:

Cute face + chubby, pudgy body, OR, cute face + lanky, thin body.

 

If you only like slender women, that's fine, we could care less. But you should avoid OLD, which people only seem to shop by photos and judge by body types.

Edited May 26, 2015 by bebe23

[ZA Dater]

I don't like rake thin either...for the record. Obese for me is just overtly round.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I don't like rake thin either...for the record. Obese for me is just overtly round.

 

That's how everybody thinks unfortunately.

 

The bigger women you are rejecting are saying, "Well, the blonde haired fit guys won't date me. The only people who want me are these short, ugly dudes. Hell If I'm settling for that."

 

So, what's your point? Everybody wants the best they can get and we're back to where we began.

[No Limit]

In that logic it would only natural for obese and "ugly" people to give you likes - they're trying to get someone 'above their league'.

[Jethro]

In that logic it would only natural for obese and "ugly" people to give you likes - they're trying to get someone 'above their league'.

 

Exactly, and this is why OLD- at least here in the USA in my area- is a HORRIBLE idea. You are always shopping for the puppy dog. Does anyone ever go to a pet store and decide they want the fat, ugly and mean looking puppy? No, they want the cutest puppy dog possible. Every single person on these dating sites wants to get someone good looking. There are no other criteria for the most part, at least for the initial message. This really got me upset until I realized that I was doing the same thing:eek:

 

 

Just get off OLD unless you are using it for a hook up site.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Exactly, and this is why OLD- at least here in the USA in my area- is a HORRIBLE idea. You are always shopping for the puppy dog. Does anyone ever go to a pet store and decide they want the fat, ugly and mean looking puppy? No, they want the cutest puppy dog possible. Every single person on these dating sites wants to get someone good looking. There are no other criteria for the most part, at least for the initial message. This really got me upset until I realized that I was doing the same thing:eek:

 

 

Just get off OLD unless you are using it for a hook up site.

 

I agree with your assessment.

 

It differs from a pet store though in the sense that people go for their reasonable range. Most guys I assume do not message the really cute/hot women if they cannot even get the average ones to message them back.

 

It's actually quite a fascinating social experiment. I may use it for that instead of actually trying to get a date,

[ascendotum]

I have not noticed this plethora or contingent of obese women online. There are women who are a few pounds overweight and full figured (5'5", 170 lbs ballpark?), none of whom have any problems getting dates I assume. Are you talking about them? What do you mean by obese?

 

I have seen a couple of women who are obese and in their late 40s/50s, whom did not have anything in common with me.

 

I'm going one more shotgun round with the OLD, and then I'll do a short writeup, and it will be real and genuine and honest. I hardly know what to believe reading stuff here sometimes.

 

I have been rejected dozens of times without so much as a response from those women though. That much is 100% true.

 

The obese words gets thrown around a lot. I went to the mybodygallery site and looked up weights for a 5'6 woman. At 190lbs I call them chubby/beefy. At 220 lbs I can start describing them as fat. But I had to go to 290 lbs before I could say obese. Younger women will carry it better imo as there is going to be less sag. A lot of typical overweight women walking around look like the 190 - 220 lb younger women on that site and are definitely not obese. If a guy (not a chubster) is struggling though, it is frustrating that he cannot get positive reactions from a more broad spectrum of women.

[JuneJulySeptember]

The obese words gets thrown around a lot. I went to the mybodygallery site and looked up weights for a 5'6 woman. At 190lbs I call them chubby/beefy. At 220 lbs I can start describing them as fat. But I had to go to 290 lbs before I could say obese. Younger women will carry it better imo as there is going to be less sag. A lot of typical overweight women walking around look like the 190 - 220 lb younger women on that site and are definitely not obese. If a guy (not a chubster) is struggling though, it is frustrating that he cannot get positive reactions from a more broad spectrum of women.

 

Other guys here can refute me, but I really don't find that chubby women are any less picky. Truly obese women may be, but then like I said, truly obese women are rarer.

 

Like I said before, I think you'd have to go 5'6" and clear 250+ pounds for a woman to really struggle to attract men.

 

So, I like I said before, "define getting attention from only obese women."

 

If you are getting attention from 5'6", 190 pound women, you'd be the envy of me at least. I like big women, because big women = big boobs. They never respond to me.

[SJC2008]

Other guys here can refute me, but I really don't find that chubby women are any less picky. Truly obese women may be, but then like I said, truly obese women are rarer.

 

Like I said before, I think you'd have to go 5'6" and clear 250+ pounds for a woman to really struggle to attract men.

 

So, I like I said before, "define getting attention from only obese women."

 

If you are getting attention from 5'6", 190 pound women, you'd be the envy of me at least. I like big women, because big women = big boobs. They never respond to me.

 

I agree with this 100%. Chunky women who are cute or better have no problem getting men, even thin men. There are plenty of couples where the woman couldn't even fit into her man's jeans.

 

Women will rationalize this as "they have the same overall market value" and I do agree with that, Though I wonder why they seem to go for the skinny equivelant

[jay1983]

This is the problem and gals keep wondering why guys are only looking for sex.

[jay1983]

OP must be 'fat girl cute.'

 

You see, there's cute and then there's 'fat girl cute.'

 

Regular cute is the ideal man. Cute face + ripped, athletic, muscular body.

 

'Fat Girl cute' is someone we bigger ladies (I'm not obese but I'm the type JuneJulySeptember described) would find approachable. It means either:

Cute face + chubby, pudgy body, OR, cute face + lanky, thin body.

 

If you only like slender women, that's fine, we could care less. But you should avoid OLD, which people only seem to shop by photos and judge by body types.

 

What's wrong with big guys?

 

If was I the big teddy bear type, I'd date a 5'6" 210 gal.

[ascendotum]

I don't think chubby young women are all that less picky either. With OLD its going to give them more options than IRL too, even though many of the more desirable guys will be only looking for nsa it will still validate her. Plenty of fit mesomorph build guys will still appreciate a pretty, bubbly, curvy girl (I know a couple that recently got together just like this), and there are just as many chubby/beefy/fat guys out there as women who are going to date in their realm.

 

I have had chubby ladies as gfs, and alas they tend not to stay at that ideal overweight but still sexy for me point. Its the really overweight 250lb+ women who will struggle, and who will have to take the initiative to contact guys. Just because a slim build guy is getting a msg from her does not mean she is also not msging average & overweight build guys also. For the guys that don't do that well on OLD though they will resent it that the few women who contact them are big ones.

[ascendotum]

OLD has a cycle that tends to repeat itself. Woman goes online and gets messages from all sorts of guys. She talks to the better looking ones, pretty much ignoring the others. Those better looking guys are just dating down and looking for sex, which those girls provide. The guy ghosts, and the girl is back looking for dates. I could not defeat that system, so like every other "successful" guy I know, I joined in. I started talking to women I would not normally date, and lo and behold, they are throwing themselves at me. All the while, the type of women I normally date in the real world would hardly answer my messages, let alone date me.

This is very much how a lot of online dating goes. One of the good looking guys I know who was dating & sleeping with plenty of women many of whom, I & the other guys there would have been happy to have as gfs (saw pics or vids) was saying he was dropping his standards with them and so not interested in anything serious. This scenario just flows down the line with men at the different levels. I know a few (and I'm one) like you who developed a 'if you cant beat em join em' attitude to OLD.

 

A woman I know who used OLD seemed to have a lot of STRs/flings, and one of our friends was telling her nicely that the guys she dated did seem a little too good and to date more regular guys, but she wasn't buying that message at all. To her the fact that she regulatory got to go on dates with these sorts of quality men meant that was her realm and she was just having bad luck with jerks. Looking at some of the women I know in their 20s & 30s just seeming to having numerous STRs from OLD I get the impression for those that don't have a marriage or baby making deadline, that they don't seem too phased by it as long as they continue to get contacted by the guys they think are worthwhile (at some point she will get frustrated tho)

 

 

Men on the other hand, if you're overweight, you're just a fat guy. You don't see any "curvy" guys.

Yeh there are no curvy guys but a guess a guy would not like to be called that. Chubby or stocky is probably the best for a fat guy. A skinny chick can call herself slender but the skinny dude thin or wirey is about the best term. A short girl can be petite but a positive term for a short guy is ?? Edited May 27, 2015 by ascendotum

[jay1983]

Welcome to OLD. OLD is a totally different experience, which has very little to do with reality. I had a similar experience with it. It is exceedingly hard for a regular guy to meet a regular girl on OLD who actually wants to meet and date him. Like you, I was talking to obese women almost exclusively, despite the fact that I was not only in good shape, but had more going for me in other areas.

 

OLD has a cycle that tends to repeat itself. Woman goes online and gets messages from all sorts of guys. She talks to the better looking ones, pretty much ignoring the others. Those better looking guys are just dating down and looking for sex, which those girls provide. The guy ghosts, and the girl is back looking for dates. I could not defeat that system, so like every other "successful" guy I know, I joined in. I started talking to women I would not normally date, and lo and behold, they are throwing themselves at me. All the while, the type of women I normally date in the real world would hardly answer my messages, let alone date me.

 

 

 

That's because obese women are selling themselves as curvy, and saying that men need to be attracted to them or we aren't real men. Even the guys on this thread giving out height and weight measurements of women are just calling obese women chubby or thick. Like the 5'6 190lb girl...that's obese, bottom line. Men on the other hand, if you're overweight, you're just a fat guy. You don't see any "curvy" guys. You don't see any fat male models. And all of those Internet memes about curvy women have them matched up with a fit guy.

 

This is very much how a lot of online dating goes. One of the good looking guys I know who was dating & sleeping with plenty of women many of whom, I & the other guys there would have been happy to have as gfs (saw pics or vids) was saying he was dropping his standards with them and so not interested in anything serious. This scenario just flows down the line with men at the different levels. I know a few (and I'm one) like you who developed a 'if you cant beat em join em' attitude to OLD.

 

A woman I know who used OLD seemed to have a lot of STRs/flings, and one of our friends was telling her nicely that the guys she dated did seem a little too good and to date more regular guys, but she wasn't buying that message at all. To her the fact that she regulatory got to go on dates with these sorts of quality men meant that was her realm and she was just having bad luck with jerks. Looking at some of the women I know in their 20s & 30s just seeming to having numerous STRs from OLD I get the impression for those that don't have a marriage or baby making deadline, that they don't seem too phased by it as long as they continue to get contacted by the guys they think are worthwhile (at some point she will get frustrated tho)

 

 

Yeh there are no curvy guys but a guess a guy would not like to be called that. Chubby or stocky is probably the best for a fat guy. A skinny chick can call herself slender but the skinny dude thin or wirey is about the best term. A short girl can be petite but a positive term for a short guy is ??

 

Yes & yes. Lol