An interesting OLD experiment: "leagues"

[JuneJulySeptember]

Welcome to OLD. OLD is a totally different experience, which has very little to do with reality. I had a similar experience with it. It is exceedingly hard for a regular guy to meet a regular girl on OLD who actually wants to meet and date him. Like you, I was talking to obese women almost exclusively, despite the fact that I was not only in good shape, but had more going for me in other areas.

 

You have to admit though.

 

The very first days you were on OLD and the very first few women you messaged who were average-ish looking who made 50K a year, and who described themselves in their own words as "down to Earth, laid back, looking for a down to Earth guy, likes sports", you thought to yourself:

 

"Oh god, she'll message me back for sure! That's me, I'm a down to Earth guy. And I have a college degree and an OK job. And I'm sorta good looking. And I like sports! She'll be SO EXCITED to hear from a guy like me!"

 

:lmao:

Edited May 27, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[jay1983]

You have to admit though.

 

The very first days you were on OLD and the very first few women you messaged who were average-ish looking who made 50K a year, and who described themselves in their own words as "down to Earth, laid back, looking for a down to Earth guy", you thought to yourself:

 

"Oh god, she'll message me back for sure! That's me, I'm a down to Earth guy. And I have a college degree and an OK job. And I'm sorta good looking. She'll be EXCITED to hear from a guy like me!"

 

:lmao:

 

ROTFL! Yeah, I had no idea lol at first you think well maybe I'm not her type, maybe she's too shy or nervous to write back. Then after 20 or 30 you stop and ask "WTH is going on here?" Lol

 

Even worse dude, I read a couple that said "please don't ask about sex or send a pic of your dick!"

 

I thought hey, she'll be happy to get a nice sincere message. then got ignored lol

Edited May 27, 2015 by jay1983

[JuneJulySeptember]

ROTFL! Yeah, I had no idea lol at first you think well maybe I'm not her type, maybe she's too shy or nervous to write back. Then after 20 or 30 you stop and ask "WTH is going on here?" Lol

 

Even worse dude, I read a couple that said "please don't ask about sex or send a pic of your dick!"

 

I thought hey, she'll be happy to get a nice sincere message. then got ignored lol

 

Oh yea. I carefully handpicked the first 10 to make sure they seemed really laid back. No photos with fancy dresses or taking shots at bars or hang gliding over the Grand Canyon. All different races, and weights (but all shorter than me). Nobody who made over 75K a year.

 

And I spent about a half a day hand-crafting the messages I sent to them.

 

Not a single response. Not even thanks, but no thanks.

 

It was pretty deflating. But I really was very optimistic at the first wave.

 

Now, I just kinda try and throw darts and see what I can get.

[ZA Dater]

Interesting perspectives here!

 

Hooking up with chubby and overweight is not something I wont to do, couldn't think of anything worse than a first time with a chubby/obese female.

 

The kicker with all of this is I am sure many of you have had some success at least with people other than chubby and obese, I haven't had that.

 

At the moment I have an extremely large lady on Tinder who despite me not replying will not leave me alone. On the other flip side of I a chased a mere friendship with someone I didn't meet on OLD and fell as flat a pancake falling out of a pan.

 

I have no doubt 95% of guys just end up using OLD as a hookup site and I suppose that's fine but that's not what I want, sure maybe if a 5.9 athletic brunette was interested I would but this being the real world that 5.9 brunette already has a bf/ has no trouble finding guys/ doesn't do on line dating.

 

As cruel as it may seem I have deduced, in SA at least that the type of female who resorts to OLD is one who has kids, over weight, very little ambition, desperate, over 30 yo, very little in the way of intellect, enough baggage to fill 6 trains and usually a menial job.

 

By contrast I tried OKcupid and did a USA search, there I found lawyers, CPA's and other professional people. The general standard of person is higher and the stigma about OLD is much less than it is here. Mention you are on OLD and most people look at you as if you are totally mad.

[Rejected Rosebud]

l There is not enough slim build women to meet demand so they come with a higher price.

That is interesting please tell me what the price of "slim build women" is compared to the heavier styles of women? I am "slim build" myself maybe I should be charging my guy $$$ !!

[ZA Dater]

That is interesting please tell me what the price of "slim build women" is compared to the heavier styles of women? I am "slim build" myself maybe I should be charging my guy $$$ !!

 

I once paid a slim, athletic brunette to have coffee with me. Was one of the better "dates" I have had because I knew I was being used, irrespective of that she was nice company.

[LookAtThisPOst]

It seems with online dating, the women that would have probably so EASILY have dated me had they met me in real life, would reject me online.

 

It would quite shock me to come across a woman's profile, who had even the most obscure things in common with me, only to reject me. A few I recall had some weight on them, too. Yeah pretty sad.

 

Women (and men even) should realize they would be better off dating those who are equal to them in the physical looks department.

 

I think some of the heavy set women wouldn't date me only because they don't like the that their own girth consumes their male counterpart. LOL

 

Kind of like a tall woman not wanting to date a shorter man, but the situation is horizontal, not vertical.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Right on with the "Unread/Deletes", it's funny how people here claim women don't just look at the pictures and do not read the contents of the email sent to them.

 

I can see them clicking through the ensemble of emails, 'ugly, ugly, ugly ugly, cute...., ugly ugly ugly..cute"

 

Select the uglies (or even guys that are my equivalent in looks), delete without reading!

 

It was indeed quite maddening to not get replies.

 

Now I'm seeing dating profiles of women saying, "If I don't reply to your message, it means I didn't think we're a good match...sorry, I wish you luck."

 

Or I would even see a woman conclude her profile with, "Good luck in your search" as if she was a prize to be won during a BINGO announcement as a grand prize to be won.

 

 

Yup, pretty much. My first few months of OLD were like that. I even paid to upgrade my account to see if something was going wrong with my messages, because they obviously weren't getting them POF used to tell you "Unread Deleted" meaning she looked at my thumbnail pic and didn't even bother to read my message. That's rough That's what drove me to the different dating forums in the first place. That's where I saw that pretty much every other guy was having the same issues.

 

"Inside every cynic there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin

 

It became crystal clear what the problem was when my old roommate first moved in with me. All I had to do was see his OLD account. All of the women I had been messaging and getting no response? They were all messaging him. He is still on there, and still sleeping with most of the single women in our area.

[guest569]

Ok, just because someone is fat, it doesn't mean they are desperate. Just because you cant see their beauty, doesn't mean other men are not jumping at the chance. You can not criticise people for being shallow and then say they are too obese for you and out of your league in the same breath.

[ZA Dater]

Ok, just because someone is fat, it doesn't mean they are desperate. Just because you cant see their beauty, doesn't mean other men are not jumping at the chance. You can not criticise people for being shallow and then say they are too obese for you and out of your league in the same breath.

 

My experience is a great many of them are indeed very desperate. Other men are jumping but what % are jumping for sex or jumping for a relationship...

[scorpiogirl]

For men who can't get dates you lot are awfully critical. So people should just accept you for who you are, but you won't date the "uglies" and the "fatties".

 

I've dated good looking men, average looking men, short, tall, muscular Greek gods, average, men with bellies, white, black.

They all had an attractive personality. They were intelligent, confident, funny, treated me like a lady, doted on me, allowed me to dote on them.

 

They had interests in sports, world affairs, and other things that made them good conversationalists. I've rejected attractive men who had nothing to talk about. I've rejected men who were aggressive or were judgemental or had a "woe is me" attitude. Men who felt entitled to certain things.

 

I'm overweight. I'm working on it. But my weight has no bearing on who I attract. I have an active dating/ relationship life. Men see that I'm an intelligent, witty, charming woman. And yes pretty ( beautiful to some in their own words.

They don't want me to be what I'm not. They can be themselves with me.

 

There are no "leagues".

 

Stop complaining about women you can't get and work on yourselves, otherwise even a "fatty" like me will never date you.

 

You want to force women into a box you think they should fit into. Seriously. You never listen to the WOMEN on here who offer you solid advice. Instead you all console each other and commiserate about what shallow bitches women are.

 

Seriously?

[frogs88]

It became crystal clear what the problem was when my old roommate first moved in with me. All I had to do was see his OLD account. All of the women I had been messaging and getting no response? They were all messaging him. He is still on there, and still sleeping with most of the single women in our area.

 

Hoe does he even manage that? It sounds like a fulltime job.

[ZA Dater]

For men who can't get dates you lot are awfully critical. So people should just accept you for who you are, but you won't date the "uglies" and the "fatties".

 

I've dated good looking men, average looking men, short, tall, muscular Greek gods, average, men with bellies, white, black.

They all had an attractive personality. They were intelligent, confident, funny, treated me like a lady, doted on me, allowed me to dote on them.

 

They had interests in sports, world affairs, and other things that made them good conversationalists. I've rejected attractive men who had nothing to talk about. I've rejected men who were aggressive or were judgemental or had a "woe is me" attitude. Men who felt entitled to certain things.

 

I'm overweight. I'm working on it. But my weight has no bearing on who I attract. I have an active dating/ relationship life. Men see that I'm an intelligent, witty, charming woman. And yes pretty ( beautiful to some in their own words.

They don't want me to be what I'm not. They can be themselves with me.

 

There are no "leagues".

 

Stop complaining about women you can't get and work on yourselves, otherwise even a "fatty" like me will never date you.

 

You want to force women into a box you think they should fit into. Seriously. You never listen to the WOMEN on here who offer you solid advice. Instead you all console each other and commiserate about what shallow bitches women are.

 

Seriously?

 

Good for you.

 

Point still remains the advice isn't solid and it isn't universal because people aren't universal in though, in fact it amounts to little more conjecture.

 

Work on what exactly, why it is the guy must do all the work at everything?

 

People often wonder why a large sector of guys end up being habitual customers of the "paid dates", its simple really because rejection takes its toll, you can only do so much and then reality kicks in that you actually cant get what you want and don't want what you can get.

 

A past friend of mine ended up going down the road.

[scorpiogirl]

Good for you.

 

Point still remains the advice isn't solid and it isn't universal because people aren't universal in though, in fact it amounts to little more conjecture.

 

Work on what exactly, why it is the guy must do all the work at everything?

 

People often wonder why a large sector of guys end up being habitual customers of the "paid dates", its simple really because rejection takes its toll, you can only do so much and then reality kicks in that you actually cant get what you want and don't want what you can get.

 

A past friend of mine ended up going down the road.

 

 

I didn't say "men" have to work at everything. I said you and all the other complainers. I work on myself daily. I have varied interests. I try new things regularly. I started guitar lessons recently. I learn new languages all the time. I've lived and worked in two countries on separate continents from my home. I'm well-travelled. I have a law degree and still study.

 

I expect nothing more from a man that what I offer.

 

How can my opinion and advice based on MY experience be conjecture. Women all over these boards tell you what they want in a man. They speak from experience too. Instead you ( plural you) base your opinions on what you think women are thinking.

 

Your "league" is based purely on guesswork of what the opposite sex wants.

 

So women are to blame for men visiting prostitutes?? Would you like to blame the entire female population or just a select few? Men who go down this path are insecure boys. If one of a man's options is to pay for "dates" then he's not someone I'd want in my life at any point.

 

But you continue your pity party lamenting your league. I won't be back in this thread. I'm bored by its repetitive theme.

[SJC2008]

Of the 12 women I dated online, I lowered my standards for 9 of them. Their demand goes up because there are more men. Market principles of supply and demand!

[ltjg45]

Yeah, OLD is really a crapshoot and that is funny for me to say since I never exchanged a message with a woman on those sites yet.

 

I just stopped because I look at the women available and like 80% of big enough to do some damage to me if they were to do a body slam and that is a MAJOR deal breaker. Not to mention finding ANY woman who doesn't have kids already is also just as rare.

 

Combine the two and the quality of my profile doesn't have any relevance. All I would get is these heavy-set single mothers contacting me and I wouldn't be surprised if they are looking for a father figure or extra wallet on the side for their benefit.

 

Not what I am looking for in the slightest.

 

I just stop bothering now. If I do decide to see what Tinder is about or go back to OKCupid, it is strictly just for finding FWBs and it will be stated in my profile. I doubt I would find a woman I actually want to be in a long-term relationship with via OLD. If I do, I will be legitimately surprised.

[ZA Dater]

 

So women are to blame for men visiting prostitutes??

 

For the most part yes in my opinion a great many are. Simple reason being there are many nice guys around, guys who aren't overweight, guys who are educated but for whatever reason don't have a social life, these guys get written off and generally treated badly by females desperate to have a guy who fits in with the rest of their friends and most importantly a guy like the boyfriends their friends have.

 

 

Never under estimates societies want to conform and woe be tide if you don't conform.

[misspond]

...there are many nice guys around, guys who aren't overweight, guys who are educated but for whatever reason don't have a social life, these guys get written off and generally treated badly by females desperate to have a guy who fits in with the rest of their friends and most importantly a guy like the boyfriends their friends have.

 

Then you're not getting out to the right places to meet girls who will appreciate you. And yes I know the problem is you don't have a social life, you're going to have to craft one somehow.

 

I'm very different than you ZA Dater (nearly 50, female, two kids, some relationship experience but not a whole lot to be honest as I'm not one for casual stuff), but in many ways the same; lacking social life (or at least a social life where I do new things and meet new people), nice person, boundaries in place. In fact I think my social skills are pretty good but I'm still not meeting the kind of man I'd like to. Truth is I might not ever meet one with whom I click. But I'm giving it a try.

 

As you should. Just. Get. Out. There. And smile whilst you're doing it.

[ZA Dater]

Then you're not getting out to the right places to meet girls who will appreciate you. And yes I know the problem is you don't have a social life, you're going to have to craft one somehow.

 

I'm very different than you ZA Dater (nearly 50, female, two kids, some relationship experience but not a whole lot to be honest as I'm not one for casual stuff), but in many ways the same; lacking social life (or at least a social life where I do new things and meet new people), nice person, boundaries in place. In fact I think my social skills are pretty good but I'm still not meeting the kind of man I'd like to. Truth is I might not ever meet one with whom I click. But I'm giving it a try.

 

As you should. Just. Get. Out. There. And smile whilst you're doing it.

 

Thanks for the encouragement but to be honest I think I am done. I can't handle another bruising rejection really I can't. When even like doesn't like me my confidence is truly gone, I just don't know what to do any more.

 

If ladies prefer players and drinking social guys then so be it. I chased and tried but it never worked.

[guest569]

Thanks for the encouragement but to be honest I think I am done. I can't handle another bruising rejection really I can't. When even like doesn't like me my confidence is truly gone, I just don't know what to do any more.

 

If ladies prefer players and drinking social guys then so be it. I chased and tried but it never worked.

 

Probably for the best judging from your views on women.

[ZA Dater]

Probably for the best judging from your views on women.

 

Views all shaped by experience.