quickie2 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 can an ex who was once obsessed over you, aka unrequited love, ever truly get over you? even if she is now dating someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Why? Do you want her to get over you? Link to post Share on other sites
AngelEyz Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 probably not. I find that true love never dies. You will always love that person regardless if it is returned or not. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 That's not always true though particularly when one gets deeply hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
quickie2 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 no. i do not want her to get over me. in fact i want her back eventually. we both have really strong feelings for each other, at least she used to. i was just wondering is it hard for someone to forget even though they had really strong feelings for you once. and she avoids me like the plague now. maybe because she is scared because she knows i want her back now and she also knows i have high ideals. which she can't live up to right now. i saw the good in her but she is wanting to have fun now.. i am just wondering if she may come back. especially when one says it might happen in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Some people just tend to have strong emotions in general, and it can be quite a powerful feeling when such a person chooses to focus those emotions on you for a while. It's important to keep a sense of perspective though. There will always be those who let that sort of thing go to their heads to the extent that they develop an unrealistic and narcissistic feeling of entitlement...something that will ultimately doom them to eternal disappointment and failed relationships. Your comment about having high ideals that this girl is unable to meet right now indicates that this may be a case in point. Link to post Share on other sites
moon Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 I have been realizing more and more lately that I have a bit of an addictive personality. But I am shy about falling head over heals for somebody. Instinct and past pain tell me to move at baby steps. I usually always am in a situation in the beginning of a relationship where the guy wants to move full force ahead. I have been proposed to a few times and it usually started between one month to three months into the relationship. I've said no to any such proposals. I take baby steps as I move along.....slowly, slowly I do fall. Sometimes it takes me longer as was the case with my last boyfriend. I don't think I really fell in love with him until after three years of knowing him. But once I do fall I become sort of addicted. It's really hard for me to get over them when the relationship ends. But I do get over them. Once I finally get over them I sort of sweep it under the rug. Sometimes I forget why I even liked them. I have had one or two people come back later and I think they are sort of surprised that my unsurpassing attention towards them (at least as it was in the past) has sort of disappeared. My attention span is minimalized and I don't really take them seriously ever again. Pictures of them just bring back a sort of faint memory. I break the chain of addiction and bam it's gone. So yeah, I think we do get over the past loves. I don't really keep in touch with any exes. I am not the type who can breaze into a friendship with them afterwards---although I admire those who can. I think this helps to get over them. I think in time we take the love we once had for these people to another realm. I think it's sort of the same you might feel for a close friend who you have drifted from. You might miss them, but their place in your life has probably been filled and you can go on no problem with out them. Of course you have decent memories of them (unless they broke your heart) but you move on........And that's life. But yeah, sometimes it takes a while to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Aha - the unsurpassed attention thing. People who love deeply and generously want their partner to feel confident and secure, but sadly they sometimes breed egotism rather than confidence in the other person. Once the relationship ends the other person will, of course, want to re-ignite it. You can compare the situation to that of a spoiled child who treats his doting parents appallingly, but keeps going back to them for comfort when he discovers that the rest of the world does not share their ludicrously high opinion of him. Link to post Share on other sites
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