Lonely73 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 i am thinking of ending my A with MOM. It has been a little rocky lately but bottom line is he is internally torn and I really don't want him to suffer anymore. Honestly. I know it will hurt and have already cried a couple of times when things were rough. I know I will cry for awhile and not be myself. My question is, how do you MOW keep it together at home when going through the break up? My kids are teens and are busy so that helps some. But I had a hard time not being in tears all the time before and Coming up with reasons for H. How did you handle it? Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I didn't handle it well at all. I was crying in the shower, crying at work, crying in the car, crying in the car AT work.... I started wanting more and more space from my husband because I was trying to process it and just felt so overall F-ed up. The whole affair took a toll, but the breakup subsequently threw me into a tailspin for various reasons. I suggest you get yourself into some counseling if you're not already. You're going to need some type of outlet, because after a while, excuses for crying and wanting space just don't cut it anymore. Most men pick up on it. Mine actually figured it out on his own. Most of all, just keep yourself busy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 i am thinking of ending my A with MOM. It has been a little rocky lately but bottom line is he is internally torn and I really don't want him to suffer anymore. Honestly. I know it will hurt and have already cried a couple of times when things were rough. I know I will cry for awhile and not be myself. My question is, how do you MOW keep it together at home when going through the break up? My kids are teens and are busy so that helps some. But I had a hard time not being in tears all the time before and Coming up with reasons for H. How did you handle it? Yes, this was a tough one. Did much of what GoldieLox did. Lots of shower and car cries. I was very clean and car was very wet! IC as an outlet (though I did not find it terribly helpful). Lots of running, biking, gardening. I have lots of kids and work so that kept me busy. Though I generally work the equivalent part-time, I purposely took on a bigger workload. There was also something else going on in our lives that I was able to use as a "cover up" for tears. Don't know your back story but I can pretty much guarantee you will suffer. But you will be doing to the right thing and it will be worth it. Fake it 'til you make it. As Winston Churchill said "when you’re going through hell, keep going." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 It's very hard. I cried a lot and had anxiety attacks. The only thing that kept me and keeps me sane is being busy.i work, garden, clean, read...go out w friends... I'm really involved with my kids and school stuff. Eventually you go a day and you realize you made it without crying. I get emotional like every four weeks but could be hormonal too! Just feel everything and then you will heal... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonely73 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 MOM beat me to it. After a memorial weekend away with his family, during which he also celebrated his wedding anniversary, he has no longer responded to my texts or emails. No explanations, just gone. I didn't expect to hear from him over the weekend, but he's been back for a couple of days now and won't respond to me. Trying to accept it and get through each day. I won't try and contact him anymore but all I do is cry. If he would have just said he wanted to work on his marriage, no longer had feelings for me, etc. I feel like it would be somewhat easier. Now I am just left wondering g. Is it that? Did I do something that completely made him angry? Was there a D? Hurts. Any MOM perspective and OW/MOW helps on getting through would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 MOM beat me to it. After a memorial weekend away with his family, during which he also celebrated his wedding anniversary, he has no longer responded to my texts or emails. No explanations, just gone. I didn't expect to hear from him over the weekend, but he's been back for a couple of days now and won't respond to me. Trying to accept it and get through each day. I won't try and contact him anymore but all I do is cry. If he would have just said he wanted to work on his marriage, no longer had feelings for me, etc. I feel like it would be somewhat easier. Now I am just left wondering g. Is it that? Did I do something that completely made him angry? Was there a D? Hurts. Any MOM perspective and OW/MOW helps on getting through would be appreciated. Men are conflict avoiders. Not all, but a lot of them. Instead of having a difficult talk with you, he may have found it easier for *him* just to end it like this. He could've at least given you an explanation, but to be honest, I got a half-assed explanation and it didn't really make it much easier on me. There's nothing left now but to accept it and retain what's left of your dignity. Stop trying to contact him. You're going to be left wondering, and it sucks. But like I said, I got a half-assed explanation, and there's STILL answers to questions I wonder. You have to learn to be okay with not knowing. Grieve it, but don't let it consume you. Have a good cry and keep yourself busy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I am on the other side, a BS hiding my hurt from my kids- its not easy and it really can take its toll on you- you need to make sure you rest and eat well-sounds so cliche but I found when I was exhausted or out of balance in my diet I would fall apart- I am a be believer in yoga- discovered it during the initial months after dday- still at it 2.5 years later- went from a size 6 to a size 0 and have clarity about myself-I am still working on the clarity about my marriage, but at least I feel better about me- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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