how do you have sex????

[mikey]

hey well i'm 17 and me and my girl have been goin out for awhile now and everyone was sayin that we should probably start having sex. well i talked to her about and she said she was ready and i'm ready to but i was wondering how exacttly should i do it???? i need some help and some advice from some of you experienced people out there.tell me about your first time and how it went???? well please help me and e-mail me at <e-mail address removed>

[Tony T]

I'm sure you'll get some email from people with some good instructions in it. You can also get a wealth of play by play instructions, accompanied by pictures, on the Internet if you use a search engine.

 

You ought to talk to a responsible adult before you get into this. I mean your post indicates that the two of you were just chugging along seeing each other and all of a sudden you've decided, based on the urgings of other people, that you should have sex...pretty casually.

 

Sex can bring out some pretty strong emotions, particularly in a female and especially if it's her first time. This experience is something that requires more than just a feeling that, well, everybody's saying we ought to have sex so I guess it's time for sex.

 

Who the hell is everybody for them to run your life? I hope you don't conduct every significant aspect of your life based on what other people tell you it's time for. Sex is a very private thing between two people, especially losing your virginity, and should not be sanctioned or monitored by all your friends. They also don't need to determined when it's time for you to do it. That's insane.

 

You also need to know that sex is like riding a bicycle in some ways. I can tell you how to do it all day but you have to actually get on it and ride in order to effectively learn. Of course, I don't see anything wrong with your mama telling you it's time for you to go ride your bike.

[unnamed]

"15 minutes of pleasure and a lifetime of pain?" - My father.

 

That there, Mikey, is the best quote I can give you. Sex is something extremely special, something to be shared after marriage. You have no knowledge whatsoever on the subject, yet you are willing to jump into it without a rope.

 

Listen up, and I hope you take my advice into consideration when preparing for this.

 

Nothing will completely prevent her from getting pregnant. Indeed, a condom, birth control or any other form of contraceptive will NOT guarantee a 0% chance of pregnancy. And, not from experience but from spectating, getting a woman pregnant at the age of 17 can have horrific effects on your life. And, chances are from they way you talk about your relationship, there is no committment, nor is their any love. What is sex without love and committment? Sex is more than pleasure, far more.

 

Picture this: You go to school everyday, have a good time. When you get home, you finish up your homework and head over to your girlfriend's house. This is a regular; you guys spend a lot of time together.

 

But tonight is different. You two decide to have sex. It was amazing, and you loved the feeling. One month later she doesn't get her period. You hope for the best, praying she's not pregnant. Another two weeks go by, and she still doesn't have her period. She gets a test done, and the result is pregnant. What will you do?

 

What will you do when this girl you probably have very little interest in spending the rest of your life with gets pregnant by you. Now, for the rest of your life, you will be forever connected to this woman, probably against your will. At the age of 17, you will most likely have to drop school, pick up two well-paying jobs just to support the child. In addition to this, you will probably not attend college or university at the time you wanted because you've dropped out of high school. In addition to this, you have to tell your parents and her's that you two, completely uncommitted, that you will be having a child. A child. A human being to take care of for the rest of your life.

 

There's more to that picture, but I think you get the point. It just is not worth it.

 

You can have sex with her, and for 15 minutes you will delightful and happy. But, when the time for her period comes around, all you will thinking of is, "is she going to get it?" Its something you shouldn't have to go through, and if you were smart, you wouldn't.

 

I'm 17, also, and I made the mistake of having sex. Fortunately, it is with a woman I love dearly and we are fully committed to each other; someday soon, we will be married. But it does not make what we did okay. We have stopped now, recognizing the possibility of a ruined future.

 

My dad gave me the best advice. Its either 15 minutes of pleasure and a lifetime of suffering and regret, or a few minutes of holding back and waiting until your married.

 

You're not ready to have sex. Don't jump into just because your friends think you should. You're girlfriend is not ready either. No one is at 17.

[Aria]

I just wanted to say how impressed i am with this mature attitude you have about this. It's not something you hear a lot now, waiting until marriage, but something that I agree with. It's not easy, but totally possible, and I hope that you can keep sharing this with others.

"15 minutes of pleasure and a lifetime of pain?" - My father. That there, Mikey, is the best quote I can give you. Sex is something extremely special, something to be shared after marriage. You have no knowledge whatsoever on the subject, yet you are willing to jump into it without a rope. Listen up, and I hope you take my advice into consideration when preparing for this. Nothing will completely prevent her from getting pregnant. Indeed, a condom, birth control or any other form of contraceptive will NOT guarantee a 0% chance of pregnancy. And, not from experience but from spectating, getting a woman pregnant at the age of 17 can have horrific effects on your life. And, chances are from they way you talk about your relationship, there is no committment, nor is their any love. What is sex without love and committment? Sex is more than pleasure, far more. Picture this: You go to school everyday, have a good time. When you get home, you finish up your homework and head over to your girlfriend's house. This is a regular; you guys spend a lot of time together. But tonight is different. You two decide to have sex. It was amazing, and you loved the feeling. One month later she doesn't get her period. You hope for the best, praying she's not pregnant. Another two weeks go by, and she still doesn't have her period. She gets a test done, and the result is pregnant. What will you do? What will you do when this girl you probably have very little interest in spending the rest of your life with gets pregnant by you. Now, for the rest of your life, you will be forever connected to this woman, probably against your will. At the age of 17, you will most likely have to drop school, pick up two well-paying jobs just to support the child. In addition to this, you will probably not attend college or university at the time you wanted because you've dropped out of high school. In addition to this, you have to tell your parents and her's that you two, completely uncommitted, that you will be having a child. A child. A human being to take care of for the rest of your life. There's more to that picture, but I think you get the point. It just is not worth it.

 

You can have sex with her, and for 15 minutes you will delightful and happy. But, when the time for her period comes around, all you will thinking of is, "is she going to get it?" Its something you shouldn't have to go through, and if you were smart, you wouldn't. I'm 17, also, and I made the mistake of having sex. Fortunately, it is with a woman I love dearly and we are fully committed to each other; someday soon, we will be married. But it does not make what we did okay. We have stopped now, recognizing the possibility of a ruined future. My dad gave me the best advice. Its either 15 minutes of pleasure and a lifetime of suffering and regret, or a few minutes of holding back and waiting until your married. You're not ready to have sex. Don't jump into just because your friends think you should. You're girlfriend is not ready either. No one is at 17.