BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 He was 30 when we met. So he got his first girlfriend at age 30? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Actually usually through a company takes even longer, there is something with a waiver, for EB3. Self petition based on my knowledge is faster. I doubt he can qualify for EB1 Based on what she said about him. But it should work out its just a matter of how long he'll have to wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 So he got his first girlfriend at age 30? Yes. Is there some point to this line of questioning? I just turned 35, and he's the first boyfriend I've had who's lasted longer than 6 weeks. Who gives a great g*ddamn? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Great to hear that communication is much better and things are coming along! This is to confirm once again men do not like to be held for explanation talks, and open up when they feel closer not pressured:) Regarding the Green card - LA, I feel for your bf...To share experience: I've got my Green card (EB2-NIW) approved last month. I had to wait double the expected time, since according to my lawyer, the USCIS is understaffed now... It has been a torture, I can tell you, and I tried to hide almost to the end my suffer from my bf since we're early on and I was afraid he'll get scared. I'm sure your bf had been through a similar thought process... I know for Indians is even tougher to get through the Green card process, but if it is skill-based, I'm sure he'll get it sooner than later (still keep in mind immigration services are SLOW; I waited ~6 months after the anticipated date). Best of luck! That's great news, LA! Patience is key for the woman when a man is struggling with big things as NoGo said -- men do not like to be held for explanation talks, and open up when they feel closer not pressured -- this is true no matter how long a couple has been seeing one another. Good luck with everything! Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Yes. Is there some point to this line of questioning? I just turned 35, and he's the first boyfriend I've had who's lasted longer than 6 weeks. Who gives a great g*ddamn? Just some inspiration Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Another update, you guys. I won't get into details here, because I don't feel like rehashing it all, but my BF broke up with me last night/this morning. It totally sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Another update, you guys. I won't get into details here, because I don't feel like rehashing it all, but my BF broke up with me last night/this morning. It totally sucks. I am so sorry la. :( We're here for you when you're ready to talk about it... ((hugs)) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Another update, you guys. I won't get into details here, because I don't feel like rehashing it all, but my BF broke up with me last night/this morning. It totally sucks. LA, I think this new info may warrant its own thread..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Yeah, I don't really want to start one about it, honestly. I just wanted to update it so that people don't wonder. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 OH dear!! I am so sorry, what happened? Another update, you guys. I won't get into details here, because I don't feel like rehashing it all, but my BF broke up with me last night/this morning. It totally sucks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 OH dear!! I am so sorry, what happened? Talking about it helps la......when you're ready of course. You are a great person, and always help and support others... Please know we are here to help and support you too... again, when you're ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 F*ck. I'm so sorry. Hang in there. <3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Yeah, I don't really want to start one about it, honestly. I just wanted to update it so that people don't wonder. We're here for you. Please feel free to PM, too. Lots of good thoughts and prayers headed your way! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Don't apologize! You found a real hair and don't know whose it is. You mentioned it. Now forget about it unless something happens to make you mistrust him. You can pick up a hair anywhere. Bring it up again, and then he will likely have his answer all ready for you and you might not like it. Drop it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Don't apologize! You found a real hair and don't know whose it is. You mentioned it. Now forget about it unless something happens to make you mistrust him. You can pick up a hair anywhere. Bring it up again, and then he will likely have his answer all ready for you and you might not like it. Drop it. Ha. Thanks; but please read the updates. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Ha. Thanks; but please read the updates. Wow, that really blows big time. I was rooting for you, Losangelena.... Just remember: Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, the Universe does things that are for our best interest - even if that means we have to get our hearts broken and go through emotional turmoil in the process. ~ {{{Hugs}}} ~ . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 First post on this thread but have read all of it and your other ones. Very sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Sorry that's how it turned out. I hope you aren't blaming yourself. This entire thing had to do with his immigration status and his parents pressuring him. You being wiley in bed may have shocked him a little since there are cultural differences. Maybe he was trying to hold on to the illusion you were nearly a virgin or something, who knows. But don't let that stop you in the future, because most guys like it or at the very least don't mind! You blame yourself too much, I know that from reading this entire thread. This whole time it was about him, not something you did. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
highseas Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I am sorry to hear that it turned out this way. I don't know what happened, but based on what you wrote before, I suspect it may have something to do with his inability to remain in the US and he is ending it so as to reduce the pain down the road for both of you. Do you both love one another to the point where marriage might be an option to at least think about? Of course, I could be totally wrong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I think people here are missing the point of this thread, which is obviously about what TV shows losangelena needs to binge-watch. Who has suggestions? I'll go first. 1) Hannibal: Creepy, artsy and beautiful to watch. Mads Mikkelsen will make you forget Anthony Hopkins' performance entirely. In this version of the story, Hannibal is a suave Renaissance man with a manipulative, twisted and borderline homoerotic relationship with a mentally damaged FBI contractor who adopts too many dogs. The acting is superlative. It is extraordinarily violent, but in a surreal sort of way. It also doubles as food porn (celebrity chef extraordinaire Jose Andres was the culinary consultant). 2) Mr. Robot: What begins as the most cliched premise ever, complete with the most cliched characters ever, turns into a subversive and perfectly executed conspiracy drama/psychological thriller. The show is almost interactive, as you occasionally engage with the main character. Are you complicit in his actions? Who in the cast is a reliable narrator, if anyone? Make lots of popcorn and pay close attention. 3) Steven Universe: Yes, it's a cartoon, but it's a brilliant, heartwarming sci-fi cartoon that's often hilarious. It's the first Cartoon Network series to be produced by a woman and all of the principal characters are female, but it never comes off as exclusively "girly" like My Little Pony. Did I mention there are amazing songs too? In the first season finale a character raps about a happy lesbian relationship while fighting an alien on an exploding spaceship. I seriously can't say enough good things about this show. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 Haha, Lana, I like how you think. No, it wasn't his immigration status or family, ultimately. Again, I don't want to hash out details, because it's a long story and I have told it like 6 times today in person. However, based on what he told me last night and this morning, I interpret his reasons this way: He feels like something is missing. He's feeling uncertain, and is afraid that if he feels this way at a year, how will he feel in another 6 months or another year? He doesn't want to drag it out. Also, I think his lack of depth of feeling (toward me and/or the relationship) is not enough to get him past the pressure/fear/enormity of a stronger commitment or possible marriage. So, there's not a lot there to argue with. I told him that I don't want that, that I want to stay together, but that that isn't enough of a reason; that he needs to really want it, too. I told him that I had never, from the very beginning, felt completely certain as to how he felt about me, and that it just led to a feedback loop of disconnection, that was fueled in no small part by his inability to communicate. It's hard, because it's not like there was a discernible bad guy; things just ran their course. Ironically, breaking up was the most assertive thing he'd done in the relationship. I know it's not my fault, per se. I do struggle with over-responsibility, but ultimately he was just not feeling it enough. I'm sad, but know that ultimately it's for the best. It ran its course. I liked him and loved him, but when it came to him being a good life partner, he just wasn't a good pick, and I've known that for some time, I just didn't want to accept that. It's almost as if the desire to be in a relationship had superseded the relationship itself. So that's where it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I'm sorry losangelena! It really sucks! He wasn't really a good long term partner, from the stories you told here. I'm glad you see that and I'm sure better awaits you. You are smart and kind and I'm pretty sure love awaits you again soon, and better. Hope you have a speedy recovery from this! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I'm sorry about your breakup. I just had a breakup a few weeks ago, so I have an inkling of how you're feeling. He feels like something is missing. He's feeling uncertain, and is afraid that if he feels this way at a year, how will he feel in another 6 months or another year? I told him that I had never, from the very beginning, felt completely certain as to how he felt about me, and that it just led to a feedback loop of disconnection, that was fueled in no small part by his inability to communicate. I've had this impression from your relationship all along, and I often felt bad for you when you wrote here about his lack of clarity and commitment. I know you really cared about him, but when the other person's feelings aren't as strong, you can never truly relax. Though it's painful now, I think it's a good thing this didn't drag on too long, so you can eventually move on and meet a man who's really excited about being with you and building a life with you. Believe me, I know how hard it is for some of us to find real love. But personally, I think it's better to keep searching than stay in a relationship that isn't working. People find love at all ages, and there's no substitute for the real thing. Be good to yourself. Breakups are hard *hug* 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 Thanks; and I know you're right. It's still hard and sucky, though. What's worse is that I asked him, because he's uncertain now, if he'd ever felt certain about me, and he said yes. I was like, well what happened, and he said "I don't know." It's disheartening, 'cause I'm the kind of person who has a tendency to see things through to the bitter end, and part of me feels that with effort, it could have been better, though my roommate said that to have a better relationship with him would've meant him being a different person. Which I think is right. I think we just bumped up against the edge of his relational aptitude. There are such sweet things I'm gonna miss about him, the way he laughs when we watch Seinfeld reruns, or the closed up earring hole in his earlobe that I liked to tug. I hate to think about starting over with someone, even though I realize that settling for something not great isn't ideal, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Thanks; and I know you're right. It's still hard and sucky, though. It always is What's worse is that I asked him, because he's uncertain now, if he'd ever felt certain about me, and he said yes. I was like, well what happened, and he said "I don't know." I can see how this could feel like a kick in the teeth. On the other hand, at least you know he had strong feelings for you at some point, which could be a comforting thought. I hate to think about starting over with someone, even though I realize that settling for something not great isn't ideal, either. If I'm remembering correctly, you were together for about a year. So I wouldn't imagine you'd be in any frame of mind to consider someone else for a while. Don't worry about that now. Just focus on letting this relationship go and feeling solid again. It sucks breaking up right before cuddling season Link to post Share on other sites
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