Are men younger than you really less likely to commit?

[thefooloftheyear]

I guess one reason younger guys would be willing to commit is because they haven't been fcked over yet...

 

But what do I know?

 

TFY

[Eternal Sunshine]

That's great, but you know, lots of us don't like looking at aging male flesh either. As I've gotten older, I find a much bigger disparity between how I look at my age, and how most men look at my age. So, yea, I'm going younger too.

 

 

I also don't find much benefit in whatever people claim as 'maturity and refinement' in older men either. Usually they've been burned by an ex-wife or are perma-bachelors. Pass.

 

 

ES, I think you are the perfect age to find the man of your dreams even up to 10 years younger, if you prefer. You have a better chance of finding someone in that age group who is more unconventional anyway. The 40+ guys are mostly sticks in the mud who were raised to be more traditional. I could be wrong, but I don't see that as your thing.

 

Exactly RR!

 

I am really puzzled on why men think that women are not turned off by aging male flesh. I am also finding that disparity of how I look or take care of myself and how men my age or slightly older look. Most fall off the rails at 35-40+.

 

I am also not into traditional gender roles

[hotpotato]

Exactly RR!

 

I am really puzzled on why men think that women are not turned off by aging male flesh. I am also finding that disparity of how I look or take care of myself and how men my age or slightly older look. Most fall off the rails at 35-40+.

 

I am also not into traditional gender roles

 

+1

Men really do think they are forever attractive. The same things they find unattractive in stereotypical older woman are also unattractive in them. I don't understand the blind spot. Best I can figure is that they think they are attractive because they can impregnate someone, maybe, with the help of viagra. Im truly at a loss.

[123321]

+1

Men really do think they are forever attractive. The same things they find unattractive in stereotypical older woman are also unattractive in them. I don't understand the blind spot. Best I can figure is that they think they are attractive because they can impregnate someone, maybe, with the help of viagra. Im truly at a loss.

 

I disagree. Men are to a large degree simply pragmatic. I don't know and don't know if I can know what my GF sees in me, but she's mid-20s, and a size zero, and quite pretty IMO, and I'm pushing 50. I am not a size zero. I'm not pretty.

 

This morning she woke up, pulled me close and said "you're handsome, let's make love". That works for me, and it's real, and practical.

[hotpotato]

I disagree. Men are to a large degree simply pragmatic. I don't know and don't know if I can know what my GF sees in me, but she's mid-20s, and a size zero, and quite pretty IMO, and I'm pushing 50. I am not a size zero. I'm not pretty.

 

This morning she woke up, pulled me close and said "you're handsome, let's make love". That works for me, and it's real, and practical.

 

That's nice, but most older men are not attractive.

I've dated older guys, and I wouldn't now tbh unless he were truly spectacular. I'm thinking Adam Copeland spectacular, Anything less than that, no thanks.

[No Limit]

It doesn't depend on the age, it depends on the man.

[123321]

That's nice, but most older men are not attractive.

I've dated older guys, and I wouldn't now tbh unless he were truly spectacular. I'm thinking Adam Copeland spectacular, Anything less than that, no thanks.

 

And that's cool ,as they say, "it only takes one" for me, and I suspect that's true of other guys. That's the pragmatic part - we are getting what we want. I don't see many older guys crying here, I see older women and younger guys mostly.

 

Could be a coincidence.

[William]

The discussion is wandering afield of younger men (than a woman the thread starter's age) being less likely to commit so let's get back there. There are plenty of other threads to discuss who's more attractive than who and, if you can't find one, start one!

[todreaminblue]

I really do feel its better to know the man than his age.....emphasis on man rather than boy..so legally a man.......the only way you truly know a man is time....deb

[stillafool]

That's great, but you know, lots of us don't like looking at aging male flesh either. As I've gotten older, I find a much bigger disparity between how I look at my age, and how most men look at my age. So, yea, I'm going younger too.

 

 

I also don't find much benefit in whatever people claim as 'maturity and refinement' in older men either. Usually they've been burned by an ex-wife or are perma-bachelors. Pass.

 

 

I have to agree with you on this. I don't know why men think they are the only ones who find younger people more attractive. I've pretty much always dated younger. My husband is 7 years younger than I am and chased me until he got me to date him and eventually marry him. I was seeing a guy 8 years younger than me when I met my husband. I think younger men are hot and they don't come with all the baggage. I love their hair, skin, bodies and the sex they provide. Mostly I enjoy them because they are just more fun. I've never cared that men older than me found that they are more attracted to younger women because I feel the same way about younger men. To each his/her own.

 

ES don't listen to anyone. Just keep being your same fabulous self and continue dating younger men.

[Weezy1973]

I really do feel its better to know the man than his age.....emphasis on man rather than boy..so legally a man.......the only way you truly know a man is time....deb

 

This exactly. The less superficial parameters you worry about (such as age) the better. Focus on the basics. Are you attracted to each other? Do you share similar values? Do you like hanging out with each other? Are you looking for the same things in a relationship?

 

If the answer is yes to these questions, you have yourself a good start. The rest just takes time. Regardless of age (yours or his).

[Eternal Sunshine]

And that's cool ,as they say, "it only takes one" for me, and I suspect that's true of other guys. That's the pragmatic part - we are getting what we want. I don't see many older guys crying here, I see older women and younger guys mostly.

 

Could be a coincidence.

 

Meh. There is a whole group of 30+ yo male virgins posting.

[Emilia]

And that's cool ,as they say, "it only takes one" for me, and I suspect that's true of other guys. That's the pragmatic part - we are getting what we want. I don't see many older guys crying here, I see older women and younger guys mostly.

 

Could be a coincidence.

 

Older guys are in the pub drinking, instead of trying to find a constructive solution to a problem. I wish they would take the younger women! That would leave the younger guys to me.

 

I have been looking to date men my own age as opposed to younger but my god it's like hanging out in a graveyard. I don't know what happens to 40+ men that have never married... I don't know whether I'll find a younger guy to commit but at least I don't feel depressed in their company. Most definitely a step up.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I've commented about this in other threads but I think it bears repeating here.

 

When I started dating again at 40ish, I just assumed I would date and eventually have relationships with men my age or older (10 years max). I've always dated older for as long as I could remember so it just seemed like a given.

 

However, what I personally experienced, particularly when I started doing the OLD thing was that so many men around my age and older weren't interested in women their age. As another poster mentioned, many of them fit into one of three categories; (1) they behaved like they were just released on parole and making up for lost time by dating as many young girls as possible, (2) they were primarily confirmed bachelors who suffered from a serious case of ageism, or (3) they were at that age where they suddenly realized it's time to start a family before they got too old.

 

Unfortunately it seemed that women in their forties, regardless of how good looking or vibrant or how much they had to offer didn't stand a chance.

 

As it turned out, I used to receive a TON of attention from younger men both online and in real life. At first I just dismissed them all for one reason or another but as my pool of viable prospects between 38-50 continued to diminish I was forced to reconsider.

 

That's when I started to realize just how wrong I was to assume the things I did not only regarding younger men but older men as well. In fact, it was shocking to see how damaged older men can be. Men always talk about women being damaged and jaded but let me tell you the knife cuts both ways. It was also surprising to see so many older men behave like spoiled little boys with ADHA who couldn't carry a conversation to save their lives.

 

It was not what I was expecting and caught me off guard completely.

 

And as usual, I am fully aware that this doesn't apply to ALL older men. I'm not attempting to paint every man over 40 with the same paint brush. I'm fully aware of this and I'm grateful that there are older men who defy the odds and basically have their sh*t together. Kudos to you! Where the hell were you guys when I was single and searching?!

 

But then again the same could be said for younger men.

 

MY experiences with younger men have far and away been more positive and fulfilling then those with men my age or older.

 

Does that mean I would no longer consider men my age if I were dating again? Not at all. As long as they brought to the table some of the same things younger men have brought I would be beyond ecstatic to date them

Edited May 28, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle

[123321]

Meh. There is a whole group of 30+ yo male virgins posting.

 

Yeah, I don't understand that, but I guess if you spent your entire adult life until 30 playing WoW in moms basement instead of digging in and developing your career it could happen?

 

But you're right, the genders have different complaints.

 

 

Older guys are in the pub drinking, instead of trying to find a constructive solution to a problem. I wish they would take the younger women! That would leave the younger guys to me.

 

I have been looking to date men my own age as opposed to younger but my god it's like hanging out in a graveyard. I don't know what happens to 40+ men that have never married... I don't know whether I'll find a younger guy to commit but at least I don't feel depressed in their company. Most definitely a step up.

 

Unattached men over 35 or so are IME unlikely to be interested in marriage, they are old enough to have seen that it really has no benefit for them. It's the world you have created ladies, if you want to blame someone for "feel(ing) depressed in their company" look in the mirror. Not you specifically Em, but the public opinion of women which has shaped modern norms.

 

Men who want to be married around the age of 30 tend to be interested in a family and/or want a traditional life. Look at yourself from the viewpoint of that guy, and tally the score. No one really can do it except you, but if you're honest you will probably find the answers to many of your questions.

[123321]

Unfortunately it seemed that women in their forties, regardless of how good looking or vibrant or how much they had to offer didn't stand a chance.

 

....

 

In fact, it was shocking to see how damaged older men can be. Men always talk about women being damaged and jaded but let me tell you the knife cuts both ways. It was also surprising to see so many older men behave like spoiled little boys with ADHA who couldn't carry a conversation to save their lives.

 

It was not what I was expecting and caught me off guard completely.

 

Divorce and breakups damage guys as well, of course. Guys don't talk about it in places like this (if at all) because it is what it is; we're not trying to date each other, and complaining about it won't fix it (although we like everyone else try to heal) so we just do the best we can and move along.

 

The conversation thing is I think partly due to lack of practice, and nerves. A lot of guys use OLD to try and reenter the dating market, and then after a short time give it up for other things that give better results, so what you get in OLD are a bunch of guys who are really out of practice in flirting and dating, and a minority of very slick operators who have figured out how to make OLD work for them.

 

If you want to meet some really excellent guys, you have to (like the guys who abandon OLD) go where they are. Take shooting lessons, or golf, or some other activity that you can tolerate. For guys, take dancing lessons, or go read a book in B&N, or go to social events. This is where you find the normal, non-player, non-attention whore people. Doing what they do.

 

 

If you want marriage, it's possible that ship has sailed, or maybe not who can say. If you want a fun companion to share life with you should have options.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I've commented about this in other threads but I think it bears repeating here.

 

When I started dating again at 40ish, I just assumed I would date and eventually have relationships with men my age or older (10 years max). I've always dated older for as long as I could remember so it just seemed like a given.

 

However, what I personally experienced, particularly when I started doing the OLD thing was that so many men around my age and older weren't interested in women their age. As another poster mentioned, many of them fit into one of three categories; (1) they behaved like they were just released on parole and making up for lost time by dating as many young girls as possible, (2) they were primarily confirmed bachelors who suffered from a serious case of ageism, or (3) they were at that age where they suddenly realized it's time to start a family before they got too old.

 

Unfortunately it seemed that women in their forties, regardless of how good looking or vibrant or how much they had to offer didn't stand a chance.

 

As it turned out, I used to receive a TON of attention from younger men both online and in real life. At first I just dismissed them all for one reason or another but as my pool of viable prospects between 38-50 continued to diminish I was forced to reconsider.

 

That's when I started to realize just how wrong I was to assume the things I did not only regarding younger men but older men as well. In fact, it was shocking to see how damaged older men can be. Men always talk about women being damaged and jaded but let me tell you the knife cuts both ways. It was also surprising to see so many older men behave like spoiled little boys with ADHA who couldn't carry a conversation to save their lives.

 

It was not what I was expecting and caught me off guard completely.

 

And as usual, I am fully aware that this doesn't apply to ALL older men. I'm not attempting to paint every man over 40 with the same paint brush. I'm fully aware of this and I'm grateful that there are older men who defy the odds and basically have their sh*t together. Kudos to you! Where the hell were you guys when I was single and searching?!

 

But then again the same could be said for younger men.

 

MY experiences with younger men have far and away been more positive and fulfilling then those with men my age or older.

 

Does that mean I would no longer consider men my age if I were dating again? Not at all. As long as they brought to the table some of the same things younger men have brought I would be beyond ecstatic to date them

 

I completely agree with this. Men that are close to 40 pretty much don't date their age. I have never experienced so much agesim as from men that are my age or few years older. Younger men are not only usually more attractive, fun and have less baggage but they have dated 20 somethings all their life and middle age crisis hasn't hit yet.

 

Last 4 guys I dated:

 

current 33 yo (2.5 years younger than me). Already asked me to be his girlfriend, treats me so well and seems to adore me.

 

ex 1 - 28 yo. Also wanted a relationship but I ended up breaking up with him because I found out that he has a serious mental illness. Deal breaker.

 

ex 2 - 37 yo (never married); he was more immature than most younger guys. He went to night clubs every weekend, got drunk, drove fast cars and had number of women on the go. He was also the least attractive of the 4. When he told me that he wants to keep things casual, I ended it.

 

ex 3 - 42 yo. Divorced with 2 children. Every single date he talked about how he hates his ex wife and she took all his money. He did want a relationship but I passed.

 

 

I think my brother is just projecting his own interest in younger women. I know he is just trying to protect me but he is a bit misguided.

[123321]

I completely agree with this. Men that are close to 40 pretty much don't date their age.

 

At that age it's possible to find quite a few guys who don't have kids and are still interested in having kids. In that scenario it only makes sense for them to consider age very critically, it's not personal, it's just a practical thing.

 

Around 50 or so, or if they have kids already, that changes for most guys.

[Ninjainpajamas]

What exactly is preventing the man in his 30's now, from becoming the same man you wouldn't date in his 40's?

 

*mind blown*

[ltjg45]

I am 28 right now, turning 29 in the next 3 months, and I have been interested in commitment and marriage since I was a teenager.

 

The only things stopping me from even getting close is that I still living with my mother and that the women around here is physically not attractive to me. I certainly won't go into the conflicting personalities that tends to go against me and not working along me. It is not like I get a lot of attention anyway from local women so I guess it evens out.

 

But I also am not interested in casual relationships, hence why I am still a virgin that has no shame telling it if I ever get asked. If they are not interested in a guy my age who has no sexual experience, I will be glad to let them go.

 

So that is why I am looking elsewhere as well as in the US. I know I need to move out of Jacksonville and I hope that is done sooner rather than later but, in the meantime, I am keeping my eyes open but I doubt anything will come of it. If my first 10 years of my adult life has gotten nothing of substance, I doubt it will change anytime soon.

[123321]

What exactly is preventing the man in his 30's now, from becoming the same man you wouldn't date in his 40's?

 

*mind blown*

 

When it comes to women, I will date anyone I find attractive when I'm on the market. What I want (very little) doesn't line up with the needs of some women, however. What I will tolerate (even less) eliminates even more.

[Elam]

I have to agree with you on this. I don't know why men think they are the only ones who find younger people more attractive. I've pretty much always dated younger. My husband is 7 years younger than I am and chased me until he got me to date him and eventually marry him. I was seeing a guy 8 years younger than me when I met my husband. I think younger men are hot and they don't come with all the baggage. I love their hair, skin, bodies and the sex they provide. Mostly I enjoy them because they are just more fun. I've never cared that men older than me found that they are more attracted to younger women because I feel the same way about younger men. To each his/her own.

 

ES don't listen to anyone. Just keep being your same fabulous self and continue dating younger men.

 

Yeah, I notice older women paying me a lot more attention than they do to men their own age. I don't think anyone is attracted to older women. Not unless the person is smoking hot. Even average-looking women and men in their 20s can be a lot better-looking than attractive people who are in their 30s.

 

Meh. There is a whole group of 30+ yo male virgins posting.

 

Who cares about those? No one's a virgin in their 30s, unless the guy's ugly af.

[ltjg45]

I don't think anyone is attracted to older women. Not unless the person is smoking hot. Even average-looking women and men in their 20s can be a lot better-looking than attractive people who are in their 30s.

 

Oh please.

 

While I certainly wouldn't date the sheer majority of the 40+ year old women right now, Jennifer Lopez is insanely hot for her age at 45. She looks like she is still in her 20s. Even if some of her magazine shots is photoshopped, she still is the hottest woman I have ever seen in her 40s.

 

There is also one more foreign women I have seen who is 42 who is also insanely attractive.

 

But those women are the insanely rare top 1% of the age group I am referring to. Even if I did try to get with either one, I wouldn't be surprised if I get shot down by both. I am sure their standards is high and I don't blame them for having them either.

[Elam]

Oh please.

 

While I certainly wouldn't date the sheer majority of the 40+ year old women right now, Jennifer Lopez is insanely hot for her age at 45. She looks like she is still in her 20s. Even if some of her magazine shots is photoshopped, she still is the hottest woman I have ever seen in her 40s.

 

There is also one more foreign women I have seen who is 42 who is also insanely attractive.

 

But those women are the insanely rare top 1% of the age group I am referring to. Even if I did try to get with either one, I wouldn't be surprised if I get shot down by both. I am sure their standards is high and I don't blame them for having them either.

 

Yeah, but Jennifer Lopez is much hotter than most 20 year olds. She's an exception. I would sleep with her and I would let her be my sugar mommy tho. Eva green is pretty hot to. But most people who are in their 40s aren't attractive at all. i remember seeing this 50-something woman kissing a guy who was like 30 years younger than her lol. He wasn't ugly at all either. I love seeing those combinations. People getting something out of it. Old dudes getting sex with hot young women, young men getting money and gifts from older women.