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LC if you hope to get back together


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Cameron2000

I think that if the dumpee is holding a glimmer of hope for reconciliation then limited contact is best. However this form of limited contact means letting the dumper initiate all of the contact. The dumpee should not reply right away but take a day or two to respond to a text or voicemail.

 

I mean as long as the dumpee is not initiating contact then the dumper cannot accuse him of stalking and harassing her. So what's the harm in the dumper being the responder and not the initiator?

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SolidGoldTurd
I think that if the dumpee is holding a glimmer of hope for reconciliation then limited contact is best. However this form of limited contact means letting the dumper initiate all of the contact. The dumpee should not reply right away but take a day or two to respond to a text or voicemail.

 

I mean as long as the dumpee is not initiating contact then the dumper cannot accuse him of stalking and harassing her. So what's the harm in the dumper being the responder and not the initiator?

 

 

If the dumper reaches out, you assume they want to see you. You ask them out and make a solid date. Finito.

 

Anything else is pointless blabber and is damaging your chances.

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The harm is that the dumpee may well accept any sort of "relationship" the dumper suggests, in order to keep the very faintest of possibilities for reconciliation open. The harm is that the dumpee can't draw a rational conclusion about what's really best for THEM if the dumper is still able to contact them and raise false hopes and confuse the issue. The harm is that recovery from a relationship that is over cannot happen while the dumpee is still holding on to any sort of possibility that the dumper may miraculously change their mind. The harm is that the dumpee ends up a Plan B and gets horribly taken advantage of.

 

Go NC. The relationship is over. Any sort of reconciliation can only work when and if the issues that caused the relationship to end have been addressed and fixed. This takes months of self-examination, and often leads the dumpee to recognize that the relationship was unhealthy and it is best to not resume it.

 

Playing games like waiting a day or two to respond is not the way to heal.

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