Tanzmix Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 This is my third post on here in the last few months and a lot has changed since my first. My ex broke up with me in January, so on the advice of many I went full NC. She got back in touch a couple of months later asking to meet up to trade a few last belongings. We met up and chatted, decided to keep in touch and we've been talking ever since. The breakup was very clean and neither of us had any real hard feelings despite me being obviously upset by it after a 2.5 year relationship. She isn't seeing anyone else and apart from a few casual "dates", hasn't been interested in meeting anyone new. We have met up 5 or 6 times in the last month or so and it has been lovely. We've got closer and I've been honest and told her I want her back. She's said that although she still cares about me, she is worried the relationship would go back to how it was at the end if we got back together and she can't deal with it. I've stressed I don't want to rush anything and am happy just taking things slow, meeting up and showing her things would be different. This weekend just gone we met up for dinner and at the end of the evening, after weeks of flirting, we kissed for the first time since the breakup. It was amazing and a great way to end the evening, really giving me some hope that we can work through this and make a go of things again. Now here is where I need help.... I have had issues with insecurity in the past and that's really the reason we ended up splitting. I was too worried about losing her and drove her away. Since splitting she has made friends with a family friend of her best friend. He lives a few hours away and they seem to get on really well and talk all the time. He came down and spent a few days with her recently and she told me nothing happened like that as she only sees him as a friend. I know she is trustworthy and I know that she would tell me if she didn't want me and would rather pursue something with him. However I can't help but feel jealous and constantly overthink the situation, worrying that she is more interested in him than me. How do I overcome this ridiculous anxiety and insecurity before I end up ruining what would be my last chance with her? I love her to pieces and really can't afford to mess this up. Any tips you guys can think of would be great! Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 However I can't help but feel jealous and constantly overthink the situation, worrying that she is more interested in him than me. How do I overcome this ridiculous anxiety and insecurity before I end up ruining what would be my last chance with her? I love her to pieces and really can't afford to mess this up. Any tips you guys can think of would be great! You haven't dealt with the things in yourself that brought your relationship to its end. In the past: Insecurity. In the present: Insecurity. Anxiety. Jealousy. You suffered from insecurity when you were together, and still do, even though you are apart. If you get back together, you will still feel insecure, and probably more so than in the past or present, because you'll be afraid of losing her again. Find a good therapist and work on your issues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SolidGoldTurd Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 blah This is literally a perfect scenario to use Corey Wayne's principals of getting an ex back. Look it up on Google! I think you're chasing at the moment, and you won't get too far. Sure you've been on a "date" and have kissed, but you're chasing her like a dog when it should be the other way round. She's the one who dumped you? Let her make most of the work to get you back! Let her know you're a catch! Figure out where your insecurities lie ... is it at a more personal level? Is it the fear of having her dump you and/or leave you for another man ... try to figure it out because they will come back if you get back together. The best advice you'll get is to make HER do 100% of the contacting from now on. Just cut contact today, and I can guarantee you in the next few days she'll contact you. Tell her it's nice to hear from her, that you'd love to see her and meet up. Make a date in the evening, have fun and have sex. INB4 people think you should avoid this ... Try it at least, you might be surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
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