at the end of my rope (life)

[StephenSG]

So after being rejected by every woman I try to date, I have decided that I am at the end of my path in life. I no longer want to live a lonely life. Not only am I alone, but I also live paycheck to paycheck, and have no real hobbies. I am 25 and have already failed miserably at life.

 

I want nothing more than to escape this crushing loneliness. I cannot take the constant rejection anymore. I ask myself every day why I am not good enough for the girls I want to date. How many times I have been out with a girl just to have her to never text me back or just tell me shes not interested. Its the worst feeling and I no longer want to experience it.

 

I wish I was dead, I only need to work up the courage to kill myself. It must happen as I am simply suffering now.

[LastBluejay]

StephenSG - I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Please don't kill yourself - you need to call a suicide hotline or get help of some sort. We all need help to get through these periods. Please refer to this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/475952-suicide-hotlines

 

If you are in the US, please call: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

 

It's hard right now because things seem so bad and like they will never get better. It's hard to pull yourself out from that bad place. Please find someone to talk to - hotline, friend, family, therapist - you need help, like we all do, to work through what you're feeling right now.

 

If it helps - please let us know more about what you're going through and how you feel. But definitely please get additional help as well. Ok?

[StephenSG]

StephenSG - I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Please don't kill yourself - you need to call a suicide hotline or get help of some sort. We all need help to get through these periods. Please refer to this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/475952-suicide-hotlines

 

If you are in the US, please call: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

 

It's hard right now because things seem so bad and like they will never get better. It's hard to pull yourself out from that bad place. Please find someone to talk to - hotline, friend, family, therapist - you need help, like we all do, to work through what you're feeling right now.

 

If it helps - please let us know more about what you're going through and how you feel. But definitely please get additional help as well. Ok?

 

ive been thru that. I've talked to people, none of it helps. sure my family loves me, but what difference does that mak when I cant have the loving partner I long for in life. I've already decided I want to kill myself and nothing can stop me

[RedButton]

Please don't do anything rash, speak to someone, whether family or a hotline if you don't feel comfortable talking to loved ones about it.

 

Not having a girlfriend at 25 isn't not a bit deal. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 27. I was also miserable at 25, but things can and will get better if you want them to. Please take your time to really think, to speak to someone. You can make a difference in your life and things will get better.

[petsrule]

Please don't kill or hurt yourself, Mind or Samaritans are good organisations to contact (if you're in the UK)

[CarrieT]

So after being rejected by every woman I try to date,

But you haven't been rejected by *every* woman you try to date.

 

You had a girlfriend for several years and as little as four months ago had a date that you described here as having good chemistry.

 

It is a shame to give up after only a few months when many of us can attest that it took years to find a partner. I was married in at 20 and divorced at 25 when my husband turned out to be gay! How is THAT for rejection? I didn't find someone else to marry until I was 50.

 

There is no way to project that you are NEVER going to find someone when you have only been giving it a short time since you ended your other relationship.

[d0nnivain]

Please do not take your own life. Your family will be devastated.

 

Sadly it's a vicious cycle. You are depressed because you can't find a GF but most women sense that you are depressed & won't date you as a result.

 

The answer is you have to find a way to be happy in your own skin. It's hard when you feel like you are facing a life of loneliness & rejection but that is only your current perception. It's not true. You just can't see that right this second.

 

Call a suicide hotline. Go to an Emergency Room. With help your issues can be addressed. Suicide is not the answer. Things will get better. Medication might help.

[fireflywy]

You are worth more then this. First step is to quit putting your life on a timeline and looking at everyone else who is CURRENTLY (you don't know their level of happiness or contentment) in a relationship. I fear that you may be measuring yourself this way which isn't fair to you. Right now all you see are images if others or a proverbial map of what you think their lives are like or what yours should be. However, the map is not the destination.

 

Please, try and switch your mind from this. Call someone else again if need be. You CAN switch your mind from this. You are ONLY 25 and you have NO idea what the future holds for you.

[StephenSG]

why is it that whenever someone wants to end their life everyone tries to convince you otherwise? Don't people realize some people like me are just better off dead? I have nothing to live literally. I would rather have nothingness than to have to deal with loneliness and suffering daily.

[d0nnivain]

I am a suicide survivor. A dear friend took his own life. Everyone who lives he touched was devastated by his passing. Your parents and siblings will NEVER understand why you didn't turn to them for help. They love you so much. They want you to live.

 

At my friend's funeral I was so angry at him. One of his greatest & most often repeated laments was that nobody loved him or cared about him. His funeral was unbelievably crowded. Standing room only. A 3 hour receiving line to get to the family. They had to keep the viewing open another 2 hours to get all the mourners through. The only person who didn't know how beloved he was was the guy who took his own life.

 

Anybody who has been where you are now -- in the throws of a depression so dark you can't see a way out -- knows that there is a way out, even if you can't see it. Things to get better.

 

Please try our suggestions before you take this step that can't be undone Think about it. If a bunch of strangers on the internet care so passionately about helping, you don't you think your family & close friends will move heaven & earth to help you if you let them?

[OldRover]

StephenG.

 

You are YOUNG, and have probably lived only a quarter of your life. Look at the good things that you have:

 

First, a loving family.

 

Second, your are probably healthy, (I WISH I could be as healthy as you).

I'll bet you're also good looking. Few 25 year olds aren't.

 

Third, you DO have a sense of desire and want friendships or you wouldn't be down because you don't. Those friendship ARE out there.

 

Fourth, you have a job and an income.

 

DO GET SOME HELP..... PLEASE.

 

Yes, everyone on this forum cares for you and you have a TON to live by. There are also people out there less fortunate that you that YOU COULD HELP!. That's very important. Volunteer for something.

 

Taking your live isn't fair to your family, and it's NOT FAIR TO YOU. Please reconsider and let us know what you are doing.

[petsrule]

why is it that whenever someone wants to end their life everyone tries to convince you otherwise? Don't people realize some people like me are just better off dead? I have nothing to live literally. I would rather have nothingness than to have to deal with loneliness and suffering daily.

 

From what I understand, you've got people who care what happens to you - family, friends here etc. Back when I was suicidal, I had literally nothing - family didn't care, friends didn't understand, I literally had the choice of being homeless or giving the only living thing I had left up to someone else, you do have people who care, in real life your family want you to live, we on here care and want you to live, (correct me if I'm wrong) you've got a roof over your head. Are you currently getting professional help? If not please do see the doctor and get some help - you deserve it.

[na49]

I feel exactly like you do. I have a loving family, but feel empty without a significant other. No one can really convince you that you are better off staying alive than dead. You need to figure that out for yourself. Look at what you have instead of what you don't have, and keep going. 25 is still young, and as hard as rejection is, you shouldn't give up. You only need one girl to say yes, and you haven't asked out every girl. At least you've had sex with girls/been on dates since being broken up with. I haven't even gotten that far.

 

It's pretty crappy, but the way I look at suicide is that it will always be an option for me. I only have one life though, so I really want to make sure that I can't ever find happiness, before I end my life. As quickly as my life went from great (having a girlfriend) to sh*t (her breaking up with me), I don't want to believe that it will never turn for the better. I really hope you get help. Believe me, I know how hard this is. You feel completely alone in how you feel, but I feel the same way dude.

[StephenSG]

StephenG.

 

You are YOUNG, and have probably lived only a quarter of your life. Look at the good things that you have:

 

First, a loving family.

 

Second, your are probably healthy, (I WISH I could be as healthy as you).

I'll bet you're also good looking. Few 25 year olds aren't.

 

Third, you DO have a sense of desire and want friendships or you wouldn't be down because you don't. Those friendship ARE out there.

 

Fourth, you have a job and an income.

 

DO GET SOME HELP..... PLEASE.

 

Yes, everyone on this forum cares for you and you have a TON to live by. There are also people out there less fortunate that you that YOU COULD HELP!. That's very important. Volunteer for something.

 

Taking your live isn't fair to your family, and it's NOT FAIR TO YOU. Please reconsider and let us know what you are doing.

 

I have friends, but nothing compares to having a beautiful women to lay down with at night and wake up to. its the most lonely thing having to spend your nights alone with no prospect of meeting a lover again. its alll i can think about, and for that reason i will kill myself. i appreciate that people here who have never even met me care enough but this isnt looking for sympathy. I am looking for a reason taht makes sense to me to not kill myself. but so far no one has convinced me, so I feel like its better for me to just end it instead of continuing to suffer. Seems logical right?

[d0nnivain]

I have friends, but nothing compares to having a beautiful women to lay down with at night and wake up to. its the most lonely thing having to spend your nights alone with no prospect of meeting a lover again. its alll i can think about, and for that reason i will kill myself. i appreciate that people here who have never even met me care enough but this isnt looking for sympathy. I am looking for a reason taht makes sense to me to not kill myself. but so far no one has convinced me, so I feel like its better for me to just end it instead of continuing to suffer. Seems logical right?

 

You have a loving family & friends. You are only 25. Most people at 25 have not met the ONE. To follow your logic I should have killed myself 14 years before I met DH.

 

You need to give it time.

 

When you find reasons to be happy -- things as simple as the sun on your face, the smell of bacon, hearing a child laugh -- then you will find the person to share your life with.

 

If we're wrong, you lost a few years on your plan. But if we're right, you are giving up the only chance you have to be happy.

[brokengirl85]

Stephen, women sense insecurities, depression, lack of self esteem...

My guess is that you're not confident in yourself enough. My best advice is a pick up forum and a make over. Good grooming habits, clean clothing, a haircut, no facial hair, good teeth and smile. And self confidence.

Take this as something you can do for yourself. Change the way you walk through life and people will notice.

 

I don't think you're going to take your own life. You're very sad and lonely, but you can change this. I believe in you

[StephenSG]

Stephen, women sense insecurities, depression, lack of self esteem...

My guess is that you're not confident in yourself enough. My best advice is a pick up forum and a make over. Good grooming habits, clean clothing, a haircut, no facial hair, good teeth and smile. And self confidence.

Take this as something you can do for yourself. Change the way you walk through life and people will notice.

 

I don't think you're going to take your own life. You're very sad and lonely, but you can change this. I believe in you

 

I do all of those things, I always have a nice haircut, i wear nice clothes, i drive a nice car, i live downtown in one of the best cities in north america, yet girls dont care about any of that. I am cursed, and they clearly think I am ugly or none are able to form an emotional connection with me. I will kill myself soon if I continue like this i guarnatee it. I have felt this way for al ong time and no longer want to feel like this. its simple logic, put ones self out of misery.

[pteromom]

why is it that whenever someone wants to end their life everyone tries to convince you otherwise? Don't people realize some people like me are just better off dead? I have nothing to live literally. I would rather have nothingness than to have to deal with loneliness and suffering daily.

 

Because you are wrong - you aren't better off dead. That's ridiculous.

 

Hell, if you are considering ending your life anyway, why not take a major risk, and just go take all your money out of the bank, sell anything you own of value, pack some clothes and toiletries into a backpack, and take off on a soul-searching mission? Just start hitchhiking, and see who you meet, what you do, and where you end up. Go sit by a waterfall. Or go to Europe. Or anywhere else you've always wanted to go.

 

If you are considering the end anyway, you have nothing to lose by just doing something absolutely crazy. If you hate your life, there is more than one way to say goodbye to it. And my way offers hope and adventure.

[StephenSG]

Because you are wrong - you aren't better off dead. That's ridiculous.

 

Hell, if you are considering ending your life anyway, why not take a major risk, and just go take all your money out of the bank, sell anything you own of value, pack some clothes and toiletries into a backpack, and take off on a soul-searching mission? Just start hitchhiking, and see who you meet, what you do, and where you end up. Go sit by a waterfall. Or go to Europe. Or anywhere else you've always wanted to go.

 

If you are considering the end anyway, you have nothing to lose by just doing something absolutely crazy. If you hate your life, there is more than one way to say goodbye to it. And my way offers hope and adventure.

 

 

I dont even want to do any of those things alone. what is the point of going places if you have no one to enjoy it with? I jsut want to drift into nothingness

[pteromom]

To learn who you are and what is out there in the world, and because why not?

 

You might even meet someone on your adventure. But at least if you don't, you have more data about the world to base your decision on.

 

Deciding to end your life because it sucks just seems stupid when you have options to make it better.

 

Even if you really believe that being with someone is the only reason to live, giving up at 25 seems awfully short-sighted. There are a lot of women in the world. If you really believe that you are so ugly that no woman would date you, pack your bags for a country where all the women dream of marrying an American man, and go find one.

 

Suicide just seems like a waste of opportunity.

[na49]

Do you want to be happy or do you want to be dead? If you want to be happy, you will need to work on finding someone to make you happy. Women won't fall onto your lap, and won't stay if you are a depressed pile of goo. If you want to be dead, then you'll have no chance of ever meeting someone or ever finding happiness because you'll be dead. I would remind you about the pain it would cause your family/friends but you probably thought about that already.

 

It's pretty hypocritical for me to tell someone else who is suicidal to not go through with it, but from what you described, you do have a lot of reasons to keep going.

[fireflywy]

So, I looked up your last post prior to this thread and your last post said that you haven't had sex for 1.5 months and this is what got you down?

 

So it has only been roughly TWO months since you were last with a woman and now you're absolutely despondent in thinking you won't find someone else and every persons suggestion to you you just throw away. Plus, you've been on several dates since first posting here and you are upset because they aren't biting?

 

How long have you been single? Let's start there please.

[Satu]

“Neurosis is the way of avoiding nonbeing by avoiding being”

 

― Paul Tillich, The Courage to Be.

[StephenSG]

So, I looked up your last post prior to this thread and your last post said that you haven't had sex for 1.5 months and this is what got you down?

 

So it has only been roughly TWO months since you were last with a woman and now you're absolutely despondent in thinking you won't find someone else and every persons suggestion to you you just throw away. Plus, you've been on several dates since first posting here and you are upset because they aren't biting?

 

How long have you been single? Let's start there please.

 

I have been single 1 year. She was my first girlfriend and I met her when I was 22. I truly believe I will never meet someone else who will accept me the way she did. At least not to my standards. I go after very good looking which is likely attributed to why I fail so much. My ex was very good looking and I feel like I will never meet someone of her calibre again.

[OldRover]

I have friends, but nothing compares to having a beautiful women to lay down with at night and wake up to. its the most lonely thing having to spend your nights alone with no prospect of meeting a lover again. its alll i can think about, and for that reason i will kill myself. i appreciate that people here who have never even met me care enough but this isnt looking for sympathy. I am looking for a reason taht makes sense to me to not kill myself. but so far no one has convinced me, so I feel like its better for me to just end it instead of continuing to suffer. Seems logical right?

 

Yes, you're right, nothing compares to have a beautiful woman to lay down with you, and wake up to. Well.... my beautiful woman, that I was dearly in love with dumped me when I was 20.... it really sucked, and I hurt badly. Was painful, but realized that there was someone else out there.... perhaps better. It took a while, and a few lousy dates, but I got there at age 26, and it was WORTH WAITING FOR AND WORKING FOR, regardless of what I went through.

 

A lot of us have faced the issues of loosing a lover and, no doubt about it, it's painful.

 

You WILL prevail and find someone. You definitely have age on your side.

 

Let us know what your next move is.