d0nnivain Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Sure and at the end of the night i went to an empty bed by myself and wake up to nothing but a hangover. I just want that female companionship so badly. I don't care about anything else in life right now, thats why i cant focus ont he good. If you want female companionship, skip the drugs & the booze. You go to bed alone because these women realize after one date that you are mess due to the substances you voluntarily ingest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 suffering is relative. sure i am not starving and i have a roof over my head, but I still feel pain every single day and hate myself/my life and being alone. The feeling of loneliness is one of the worst. and please say whatever you want, you can't make me feel worse than i already do. Oh yes I could. Which is why I'm not going to. And I'd be banned for life from here, and I couldn't blame the Moderators for doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 Oh yes I could. Which is why I'm not going to. And I'd be banned for life from here, and I couldn't blame the Moderators for doing so. What could you possibly say? That I am a spoiled worthless piece of **** that fails at life because I am destined to? Or that I am not even one fifth of the man that I should be by this age? Or maybe that I should never have been even born into this world because I contribute nothing to society? Or that girls will never love me because of my awful personality and no matter how hard I try they will alawys smell desperation on me? I can keep going... Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Other friends have hobbies like photography that they are good at, or making music etc. I have nothing. I realize girls find passion and ambition attractive, but I am so caught up in this continuous loop of trtying to find someoen that I feel too depressed to pursue any of these activities for myself. All I can find myself doing is drugs and alcohol. I binge drink every weekend and usually it's accompanied by cocaine use So let me get this straight. - you are depressed - you have no hobbies or interests - you are a druggie alcoholic - you are unable to see the good in anything - you are only interested in extremely good looking women And you wonder why you are having trouble meeting women? What do you offer a woman? The benefit of being the only thing good in your life, meaning that you will cling to her with all your might and expect her to be the only source of your happiness? NO woman wants that. Sounds horrible. You want a woman? Quit the drugs and drinking. Get some hobbies so you are a more interesting person. Get some therapy so you are able to work on finding positives in your life. You have to be someone people want to be around. Your lack of dates has nothing to do with being ugly. The good news is most of it is within your control. Overcoming depression is hard work, but the rest of it doesn't even take that much effort. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Today is my 51st birthday. Happy birthday Carrie, long may your star shine brightly. Love is the law. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 What could you possibly say? That I am a spoiled worthless piece of **** that fails at life because I am destined to? Or that I am not even one fifth of the man that I should be by this age? Or maybe that I should never have been even born into this world because I contribute nothing to society? Or that girls will never love me because of my awful personality and no matter how hard I try they will alawys smell desperation on me? I can keep going... If you were a worthless piece of ****, nobody would bother trying to help you. The frustrating thing to us is that you have advantages that you can't even see. You just said you were good looking (I thought you said earlier in the thread that you were ugly.) You live in a vibrant safe city. You make a decent wage - it's definitely not embarrassing. You have friends. You've had sex, and had girlfriends, so you don't have those hurdles like some of the depressed virgins on LS. You have a home, a car, your health, OPPORTUNITIES. And rather than take any of the opportunities to make yourself better and create a better life for yourself, you focus on the ONE THING you (currently) don't have, and obsess over it to the point where you'll never get it. And you won't quit doing the things (drinking and drugs) which are going to make you unattractive to the top-tier women you want. We are just frustrated. So many people would love to have the life you have. Rather than taking a bottle of Advil, how about visiting a professional and trying some medications to help you with your depression? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 So let me get this straight. - you are depressed - you have no hobbies or interests - you are a druggie alcoholic - you are unable to see the good in anything - you are only interested in extremely good looking women And you wonder why you are having trouble meeting women? What do you offer a woman? The benefit of being the only thing good in your life, meaning that you will cling to her with all your might and expect her to be the only source of your happiness? NO woman wants that. Sounds horrible. You want a woman? Quit the drugs and drinking. Get some hobbies so you are a more interesting person. Get some therapy so you are able to work on finding positives in your life. You have to be someone people want to be around. Your lack of dates has nothing to do with being ugly. The good news is most of it is within your control. Overcoming depression is hard work, but the rest of it doesn't even take that much effort. When I was in a relationship with my ex for 2 years, I didnt touch the booze or drugs, and was much more productive with my life. Thats why I want a girlfriernd again because I feel grounded. sure that sounds backwards but my life instantly gets better when I have a girlfirend,. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 When I was in a relationship with my ex for 2 years, I didnt touch the booze or drugs, and was much more productive with my life. Thats why I want a girlfriernd again because I feel grounded. sure that sounds backwards but my life instantly gets better when I have a girlfirend,. Yeah, we all like a significant other that enriches us. But for the time being we can find the basis of a good life in ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 When I was in a relationship with my ex for 2 years, I didnt touch the booze or drugs, and was much more productive with my life. Thats why I want a girlfriernd again because I feel grounded. sure that sounds backwards but my life instantly gets better when I have a girlfirend,. Don't you see that you won't be able to get a girlfriend until you are clean? It isn't like some hot chick is going to show up on your doorstep and present herself to you and - suddenly - you are going to have that happy life you want? You have to put in the effort to be the person a girl will want to be with; right now, you are far from being that person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 Don't you see that you won't be able to get a girlfriend until you are clean? It isn't like some hot chick is going to show up on your doorstep and present herself to you and - suddenly - you are going to have that happy life you want? You have to put in the effort to be the person a girl will want to be with; right now, you are far from being that person. The last girl I ****ed thigns up with on saturday could have been that girl. If I had just made some better decisions... She actually said she liked me after the first date which is why its even more devestating i screwed thigns up. I cant get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 The last girl I ****ed thigns up with on saturday could have been that girl. If I had just made some better decisions... She actually said she liked me after the first date which is why its even more devestating i screwed thigns up. I cant get over it. You desperately need a goal in life and some hobby's, you place way to much worth (!) in the opinions of girls (as perceived by you) that you barely know. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 what difference does it make that i get dates, they only accept based on the fact that I guess I am somewhat good looking, but then then after spending an hour with me they have no desire to be around me whatsoever. Its even worse than not getting dates because it gets my hopes up, only to be disappointed and crushed over and over and over Seriously? Are you for real? Link to post Share on other sites
courtneykay Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Using someone as a tool to get over your addiction isn't going to work. Countless people have told you on this thread you need to seek professional health for your drinking and drug habits. So take the advice, and stop tiptoeing around it. Girls aren't gonna want to date drunk druggies. Sorry, but it's the truth. You need to change your habits before you can even think about finding a girlfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Steven, I'm sure you've read the responses... most pretty good advise. You have a choice: You can have a quick high with some drugs and get drunk (You've done that) .... or..... You can have a date with a cute sexy lady that likes you, with the possibility of going somewhere. (You've already done that, too) You're not going to get both. What's your choice? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
petsrule Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 You've got to decide which is more important to you, drink and drugs or a relationship. You can't have both because as well as hurting yourself with drink and drugs you'd also be hurting your partner and that won't be fair on a new girlfriend, will it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 I go out and get drunk and high on the weekend because partying is the only way I meet girls. Whenever I have had a girlfrined in the past I gladly choose staying at home and watching movies on a friday night with her vs going out. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I go out and get drunk and high on the weekend because partying is the only way I meet girls. Whenever I have had a girlfrined in the past I gladly choose staying at home and watching movies on a friday night with her vs going out. You can easily go out and party without getting drunk or high on drugs.... the majority of us do that. I'm at my favorite hangout at least 5 times a week, sometimes with my lady and sometimes without. I flirt with the ladies there, have a great time, but always come home to "my" lady. I NEVER get drunk there.... NO MATTER WHAT!!!! That's my rule. There's absolutely NO upside. And even though there are a few drunks there, the vast majority are sober and control their drinking and have a MUCH better time there. Those are the people I associate with. The last think I want is a reputation for drinking too much. Drugs are just out of the question... that's high school crap. Hope you choose wisely. There are PLENTY of really nice ladies looking for good looking clear thinking men. You can easily be that man. You have a LOT going for you but YOU have to decide if you want to put your best or worst forward. At my club, the ladies would be all over you, if you were drug free and sober. You wouldn't even have to have any drinks. Heck, they still look at me and I'm uglier, older, and don't have a job. But I do behave, have a lot of self confidence and respect the nice ladies there. No, you're not going to take them home the first time for Friday night movies, but doesn't take long. The whole world is yours.... IF you want it. I wish the hell I was your age!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 You can easily go out and party without getting drunk or high on drugs.... the majority of us do that. I'm at my favorite hangout at least 5 times a week, sometimes with my lady and sometimes without. I flirt with the ladies there, have a great time, but always come home to "my" lady. I NEVER get drunk there.... NO MATTER WHAT!!!! That's my rule. There's absolutely NO upside. And even though there are a few drunks there, the vast majority are sober and control their drinking and have a MUCH better time there. Those are the people I associate with. The last think I want is a reputation for drinking too much. Drugs are just out of the question... that's high school crap. Hope you choose wisely. There are PLENTY of really nice ladies looking for good looking clear thinking men. You can easily be that man. You have a LOT going for you but YOU have to decide if you want to put your best or worst forward. At my club, the ladies would be all over you, if you were drug free and sober. You wouldn't even have to have any drinks. Heck, they still look at me and I'm uglier, older, and don't have a job. But I do behave, have a lot of self confidence and respect the nice ladies there. No, you're not going to take them home the first time for Friday night movies, but doesn't take long. The whole world is yours.... IF you want it. I wish the hell I was your age!!!!! But I get drunk and high because it helps me feel more comfortable around girls. I am nervous usuauly around girls when i first meet them. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 But I get drunk and high because it helps me feel more comfortable around girls. I am nervous usuauly around girls when i first meet them. Excuses, excuses.... Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 But I get drunk and high because it helps me feel more comfortable around girls. I am nervous usuauly around girls when i first meet them. Me too, however, when we're drunk, it's just to easy to turn the girl off... rarely works. So, just spend more time just meeting girls when you're sober, you WILL get over the nervous part, and be WAY MORE desirable. Not to say, if you meet some absolute knockout, sometimes it's still hard to break the ice with them (I still do, and I'm a lot older than you). So, I just try to talk to them for a bit of conversation and don't worry about picking them up. It they turn on to you, more the better, if not, just enjoy the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
courtneykay Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 But I get drunk and high because it helps me feel more comfortable around girls. I am nervous usuauly around girls when i first meet them. Yeah, and obviously that's not working out for you. So make a change. Make a conscious effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 its been a few days since my screw up with the girl from saturday... I had to see her 2 days after to return a bracelet she left at my house. She greeted me happily and then we parted. She said via text i pushed her away with my behavior and she doesnt even know if she can be friends with me at this point. I only hung out with this girl 3 times but for some reason I am so attached to her, like I felt she could have been my gf, and now I am so devestated and obssesed with what could have been. Why can I not get her off my mind? I am losing it this week, I wish there is osmething I could do to rectify it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Send her a snail mail note telling her that you are sorry for your awful behavior while drunk & ask her to give you a sober chance. Then be SOBER! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StephenSG Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 Send her a snail mail note telling her that you are sorry for your awful behavior while drunk & ask her to give you a sober chance. Then be SOBER! I already apologized multiple times for my behaviour but she insisted she wasn't feeling it and didn't want to talk. Is the fact that she is bipolar a bad sign? I tried everything that night to apologize but she was histeric at me. She wouldn't hear me out. I don't know why I am so infatuated by her, i guess because she is so beautiful. Shes one of the most beautiful girls i've met. I feel this terrible anxiety over the fact that I can't have another chance with her. A feeling like i've made a terrible mistake and theres nothing i can do to fix it Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I already apologized multiple times for my behaviour but she insisted she wasn't feeling it and didn't want to talk. Is the fact that she is bipolar a bad sign? I tried everything that night to apologize but she was histeric at me. She wouldn't hear me out. I don't know why I am so infatuated by her, i guess because she is so beautiful. Shes one of the most beautiful girls i've met. I feel this terrible anxiety over the fact that I can't have another chance with her. A feeling like i've made a terrible mistake and theres nothing i can do to fix it Well, it seems like you keep making the exact same mistakes over and over again. Along with being superficial, you keep getting yourself drunk and high and wonder why things don't work out. Here's a news flash -- stop getting drunk and high for dates! This ain't rocket science dude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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