at the end of my rope (life)

[CarrieT]

First of all, I live in the most expensive city in North America, so while 25 an hour may be a lot where you live, it is not here. My rent is 1400 for a one bedroom apartment, and gas and food are both outrageously expensive.

I will assume that is San Francisco. And if you have a one-bedroom for $1,400, you are doing BRILLIANTLY! I live here - I know.

 

You could Air B&B or sublet your apartment out for twice that amount of money.

 

Secondly, Its not like these days get me anywhere. the girls just blow me off so who cares?

And, if it is true that you live in San Francisco, you SHOULD make a change. The girls here are just into partying anyway.

 

What fireflywy said: Make a change.

[Satu]

If you don't like your life, change it.

 

If you don't like being who you are, change that.

 

Some people want the world to change, while they stay the same.

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

Change.

[StephenSG]

I will assume that is San Francisco. And if you have a one-bedroom for $1,400, you are doing BRILLIANTLY! I live here - I know.

 

You could Air B&B or sublet your apartment out for twice that amount of money.

 

 

And, if it is true that you live in San Francisco, you SHOULD make a change. The girls here are just into partying anyway.

 

What fireflywy said: Make a change.

 

I live in Vancouver BC.

[fireflywy]

I live in Vancouver BC.

 

Doesn't matter, change it.

 

25 years old. Had sex with a woman 2 months ago. Complains that he dated an attractive woman but now can't get those same hotties within a YEAR of being single. They don't GROW on trees.

 

Makes $25 an hour WITHOUT a college degree.

 

TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD.

 

You live in Canada for goodness sakes cant you get some sort of assistance for college?

Your rent is too high? Well then DOWNGRADE or get a roomate for a year and SAVE UP SOME MONEY to PAY for more education if the assistance isn't available.

Find another job if you don't want to go to college.

 

However, stop this b.s. about how you're going to end it because you can't find a "hot" woman at 25. Boo friggen hoo already.

 

Whichever one you choose, you are going to need to CHANGE. So saddle the f up already and start riding but you can't stay in the mindset you are.

[CarrieT]

I live in Vancouver BC.

 

You are an extremist, then. Because Vancouver is by far NOT the "most expensive city in North America."

 

I am seeing your patter, Stephen. Everything is black-and-white with you; it is very polarized thinking that if a little something is bad, then EVERYTHING is bad.

 

I doubt you will take anybody's advice here in that regard, but you CAN change anything you want about your life - if you really want to.

 

I personally think you thrive in being despondent.

[Phoe]

Another nail in the coffin is that I work a ****ty job, I make a measly 25 dollars an hour, and I dont have a college degree. If you dont have a degree or a career path set out before the age of 25 I think you are pretty much screwed. It just adds to the growing list of things that will ensure I never find a woman again.

 

I make 10 dollars an hour at a physically demanding job. I would kill to make 25 an hour.

 

I'm 26 and spent the majority of my life single. I've been known to go several years at a time without so much as even a kiss, let alone sex.

 

Heck, I've been raped, dealt with living with abusive family members, and even lived in my car at one point in time.

 

By your logic I should've probably should've just killed myself a year ago, right? If by 25 that's what I've got going, it'll never get any better, right? That's what I'm stuck with for life.

 

Nah. I wanted it to get better so I made it get better. And was happy as **** about it.

 

Are you determined? Do you think you're mentally strong? Then force yourself to be happy. Be determined that you're gonna wake up in the morning and be happy as hell that you're alive. Don't make excuses, just do it, fake it if you have to. Eventually it becomes real.

[JollyDays]

First of all, I live in the most expensive city in North America, so while 25 an hour may be a lot where you live, it is not here. My rent is 1400 for a one bedroom apartment, and gas and food are both outrageously expensive. So my wage is not exactly good for where i live. I have very littel money to travel/save/ do things with.

 

Secondly, Its not like these days get me anywhere. the girls just blow me off so who cares?

 

 

If you took the time to read what I posted, I stated that although you make 25/hr., I didn't know the COL in your area. And if you don't care about the ladies blowing you off, why create a topic about feeling suicidal and not having anyone to love you? Apparently you cared enough. Peace.

[JollyDays]

Doesn't matter, change it.

 

25 years old. Had sex with a woman 2 months ago. Complains that he dated an attractive woman but now can't get those same hotties within a YEAR of being single. They don't GROW on trees.

 

Makes $25 an hour WITHOUT a college degree.

 

TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD.

 

 

 

 

You live in Canada for goodness sakes cant you get some sort of assistance for college?

Your rent is too high? Well then DOWNGRADE or get a roomate for a year and SAVE UP SOME MONEY to PAY for more education if the assistance isn't available.

Find another job if you don't want to go to college.

 

However, stop this b.s. about how you're going to end it because you can't find a "hot" woman at 25. Boo friggen hoo already.

 

Whichever one you choose, you are going to need to CHANGE. So saddle the f up already and start riding but you can't stay in the mindset you are.

 

THANK YOU! That was my point, that sometimes you have to gut it up and fight to make a better life for yourself. Again, perspective. Lol

[StephenSG]

You are an extremist, then. Because Vancouver is by far NOT the "most expensive city in North America."

 

I am seeing your patter, Stephen. Everything is black-and-white with you; it is very polarized thinking that if a little something is bad, then EVERYTHING is bad.

 

I doubt you will take anybody's advice here in that regard, but you CAN change anything you want about your life - if you really want to.

 

I personally think you thrive in being despondent.

 

Actually, it is.

 

 

Vancouver Most Expensive City To Live In North America: The Economist

[fireflywy]

Actually, it is.

 

 

Vancouver Most Expensive City To Live In North America: The Economist

 

And your point? How does that change what you NEED to do and be?

 

Change it.

[Simon Phoenix]

First of all, I live in the most expensive city in North America, so while 25 an hour may be a lot where you live, it is not here. My rent is 1400 for a one bedroom apartment, and gas and food are both outrageously expensive. So my wage is not exactly good for where i live. I have very littel money to travel/save/ do things with.

 

Secondly, Its not like these days get me anywhere. the girls just blow me off so who cares?

 

Get a roommate or a cheaper place. I live in a pretty expensive area making similar money to you and am able to save and enjoy my life.

[fireflywy]

Oh, and if its the most EXPENSIVE city to live in North America, then you actually have a BARGAIN at $1400 dollars but you can STILL find cheaper.

[Simon Phoenix]

Oh, and if its the most EXPENSIVE city to live in North America, then you actually have a BARGAIN at $1400 dollars but you can STILL find cheaper.

 

Right, Vancouver isn't the most expensive city in America. It's not Manhattan, Washington D.C. or San Francisco.

[StephenSG]

And your point? How does that change what you NEED to do and be?

 

Change it.

 

Its not that easy to change my life just by snapping my fingers. I don't have the money or assitance to go back to school, I am already halfway thru my 20s. Most people are graduating with degrees right now and entering the work force, I am stuck in a cycle of paycheck to paycheck living.

 

I feel helpless, I have no one to mentor in life and thats why I want to end everything so di ont have to think about this crap anymore. Its exhausting waking up every day realizing i am a nobody and girls will never appreciate me for who i am because I am not confident and i am not successful.

[CarrieT]

Actually, it is.

 

 

Vancouver Most Expensive City To Live In North America: The Economist

 

That article was written in 2013. And is linked to this report - also dated 2013.

 

The article states it was updated in 2015, but does not provide 2015 stats anywhere.

 

If you go to Expatistan, which produces the cost of living index internationally, and indicate you are going to move to Vancouver from San Francisco, you would learn that the cost of living is 36% CHEAPER where you are now. Here, try it yourself.

 

Cost of Living

Canada

United States

Vancouver

San Francisco, California

Comparison

Cost of living comparison between Vancouver, Canada and San Francisco, California, United States

 

How much money will you need in Vancouver?

Find out with a downloadable Cost of Living and Salary report.

Food 25%

Housing 56%

Clothes 6%

Transportation 1%

Personal Care 1%

Entertainment 35%

TOTAL 36%

[fireflywy]

Dude. No one EVER said that ALL of the changes you want will happen instantly.

 

However, your DECISION to embark on that PATH toward it is INSTANT and gives you focus on other things.

 

Hell, along that INSTANT decision that you'll take that path to change, maybe you'll find a brain (knowledge), courage (confidence), and heart (strength in life). And holy cow, you may even find yourself a cute little Dorothy or even end up a wizard.

 

But you have to decide that you'll walk it. All if that mystery, all of that intrigue, can happen right NOW if you get over yourself.

Edited May 29, 2015 by fireflywy

[Satu]

OP:

 

How big a part does alcohol play in your life?

 

How often do you drink, and how much?

[fireflywy]

[Satu]

Regarding change:

 

 

My life really started coming together when I stopped thinking about myself, and started thinking about other people.

 

I stopped thinking about myself so much, because it had become boring and repetitive. The same old thoughts on the same old topics...

 

Instead of yapping about what I think, I started to listen to other people, and understand what was important to them.

 

Instead of thinking about how much of a friend someone was to me, I started to think about how much of a friend I am to them.

 

I just don't find myself that interesting anymore. I've read that book too many times, seen that film too many times. I find the world and the people in it interesting, though.

 

Once I shifted my focus away from myself, I started to feel really at ease with people, and developed some really strong, loving relationships.

 

 

 

This is an extract from my journal:

 

 

To be loved, be loving.

To find peace, be peaceful.

To find forgiveness, be forgiving.

To be cared about, be caring.

To be treated kindly, be kind.

To be understood, be understanding.

To have friends, be friendly.

 

 

This has worked for me and brought me happiness.

[Simon Phoenix]

Right, Vancouver isn't the most expensive city in America. It's not Manhattan, Washington D.C. or San Francisco.

 

Meant North America here, not America.

[StephenSG]

OP:

 

How big a part does alcohol play in your life?

 

How often do you drink, and how much?

 

I binge drink every weekend and usually it's accompanied by cocaine use

[CarrieT]

I binge drink every weekend and usually it's accompanied by cocaine use

 

Then you don't need to worry about suicide; you are effectively killing yourself anyway.

 

What girl would want an alcoholic drug addict!?!? Why are you ranting about not being able to get a relationship with you aren't even relationship material?

[BC1980]

I binge drink every weekend and usually it's accompanied by cocaine use

 

Isn't that an expensive habit? That's where some of your money is going right there. If you want to go back to school, there are always student loans. I'm going back to school this fall to get a better paying job, and I'm using student loans. I don't want to, but I'm looking at the long term picture. You can usually find a way if you want to better yourself. No one has the perfect situation with no bumps in the road.

[TrevorDia]

You know why people post that they're going to kill themselves rather than doing it? Because they're looking for a reason not to.

 

Now, I'm not one for competition - but I can tell you for free I've been shot down by more women than you. Once quite literally. She shot me with a BB gun through the letterbox when I was 17 because I told her I wasn't going to give up on her. Turns out having your kidney incapacitated makes you give up pretty quickly. Also, kidney pain? WAY worse than heart pain - and I've had takotsubo cardiomyopathy (literally "broken heart syndrome").

 

I guess my worst experience was the girl who decided that after she broke up with me her and her boyfriend stole parts from my partly restored VW 1961 T1 "hippie van". Going off at a tangent, that's the reason I decided to get into law.

 

I'm not qualified enough to tell you how you get out of this rut, especially when it comes to the cocaine and alcohol - but I do know a few people in drug addiction treatment if you want contacts.

 

I guess the bottom line is, go out to a park and sit on a bench for a few hours. Look at the couples who walk by so happily. If they can do it, why can't it be you? Humans aren't as unique as you think, there is no problem that you will have that nobody else has ever had and subsequently conquered. It's part of the human condition. If they can do it, you will do it to.

 

Whenever I get back into dating after a breakup, I just remember the saying "Fall seven times and stand up eight (七転び八起き)"

[StephenSG]

after screwing things up with another girl last night I've decided that my best course of action is to down an entire bottle of Advil and drift off into the abyss . I no longer have any interest in existing on this earth anymore. I simple wasn't meant to be here