itsdinaah Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 (edited) So I've been friends with this guy for almost a year. We got pretty close and talked about a lot of things. He told me secrets that he didn't tell anyone else. I met him through his roommate who I dated for a few months. After the roommate and I broke up, me and this guy became friends. I could tell this guy was interested in me but there was always a reason we couldn't be together. The roommate came back in my life after a few months of me being friends with this guy. I became friends with benefits with the roommate (big mistake I realize that now). The whole time I still liked this other guy. Eventually I stopped with the roommate. Finally after all those months of wanting to be with him he asks me out. I don't know if he's being serious though or just playing with my emotions because he knows how much I like him. He used to always flirt with me and then friendzone me in the next sentence. He's out of town for a few months visiting family and friends. He said we would go on a date when he gets back. However he said he would text me back when he got more free time to talk. It's been almost a week and he still has yet to text me. He's updated his social media since we last spoke (Snapchat) Should I give him more time or is it a lost cause? Edited May 27, 2015 by itsdinaah More details Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 It sounds like he's playing the string-you-along game (page 81 of "How To Pick Up Bitches and Be a Playa, Yo"), so I'd just let him cool his heels. The only way to get with a player and not be played is to be a player yourself and outplay them. If that's not you then I'd look for different types of guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Thanks for shedding light on this. I never really thought of it that way but reflecting on the past year I realize that he is stringing me along. I don't want that type of relationship. For future reference how can I prevent this? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 You mean like for other people in the future or 'correcting' this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Is this guy a lost cause? I never contact him first and always wait for him. Sometimes we go almost a month without talking. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Well like I said, assuming I'm right about him, you'd have to out-'play' him. I'm kinda guessing that's not really who you are, so maybe you should just pass on him yeah. Are you really into him? And what would you be looking for in a relationship? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 No I don't think I have what it takes to outplay him. I just someone who's genuine and doesn't play games. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Ok then you can def get that message thru to him by blowing him off. In the future put out the vibe that you're a no-nonsense woman as far as relationship silliness goes. We've all got girl-balls hon, time to sorta flex yours and be bold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Will do. Thanks for the awesome advice ? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 yw. Let us know how it works out. Link to post Share on other sites
loflust Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 What if he's really serious and just don't want to seem desperate? I guess you should give him a little time. you should take care of yourself. Mona Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 He has until the end of the summer to decide what he wants since he's on vacation at the moment. I asked him if he was messing with me and he said no that he's being serious and he liked me since the first time I met him. I've been doing a lot of soul searching, yoga, writing and trying to learn a new language. I don't know if he really does like me but I just don't think he values me enough either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Gnomie Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Thinking out loud here. It seems like he's hedging his bets, making sure you'll be available or possibly waiting for him. You've got some solid advice here. Shoot, I joined because I had something vital to add, but it's gone. My thinking is this: If you can, just live your life, take what comes, don't not date someone because he's coming back if the opportunity arises. Most of all, take care of YOU. If you want to go out with him once he's back, then do it with no regrets. I'd have warning flags, however, if he was gone all summer and didn't contact you at all. Gnomie Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 He texted me two weeks after he showed interest sending a picture of his niece. I kept it simple and said "cute" and he didn't respond. Two days later he sends two picture of himself to which I respond nice and he says thanks and makes conversation. Unfortunately I brought up how he never texts me to which he said he was busy visiting his family he hasn't seen in a year and blah blah blah. I told him you make time for what's important to you. He told me we'll communicate more and more false promises. I'm moving on with my life. I've already set up a few dates with other guys that I've met. No point missing out on a special someone while waiting for this guy to figure out what he wants. I will live my life with no regrets. Thank you for your advice ☺️ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 You can't date while he's out of town and he probably doesn't have much to text you about and doesn't want to do the "I miss you" routine, so why don't you just date other people until he gets back in town and calls you to go out. You can't have a relationship while he's gone, so stop trying. Link to post Share on other sites
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