SpiralOut Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 (edited) I don't care who goes on the cover of a magazine. I'll admit that it shocked me to see that particular cover. She doesn't look very healthy, but oh well. I'm glad the issue of fat shaming and skinny shaming is being discussed. When I was younger I would be made fun of for my weight all the time and I couldn't complain about it or I would be told "oh poor you, it must be so hard to be skinny." Well yeah it kind of IS hard when the people around you feel the need to be snide and rude and put you down for it! Double standards aren't fun to deal with. I never made fun of overweight people, yet they had no problem calling me anorexic. Because accusing someone of having a psychiatric illness is so totally okay to do!! If larger people want to take their power back, that's fine. I have no issue with it so long as they don't throw in skinny shaming at the same time. I'm getting a little tired of hearing songs like Got That Bass. Edited May 30, 2015 by SpiralOut 3 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 my issues are rational......logical...and actually part of me..... everyone was blissfully unaware of 9/11 too till it ripped america apart i am by all legal standing with mental health officials....someone with mental issues. Comparing 9/11 and what, genocide (?) to a brief joke made at the expense of a celebrity who isn't even aware of it (and who has suffered no harm whatsoever) in an attempt to point out that the article that prompted the comment is promoting something that's potentially lethal .... If I direct an insult at you, that's shame on me. If you decide to feel bad about something that's not about you, that's up to you. While I'm sorry you feel bad, it's still all up to you. As my doctor told me (WRT the health risks of continuing to gain weight, ironically) "this is within your control". Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I also find it odd when a larger woman posts things on facebook like "Men want curves, dogs like bones" or whatever that saying is. I am a skinny woman who supports body love for people of all sizes. Saying stuff like that ostracizes skinny women. It's the same thing as punching your allies in the face. I don't much care to support a cause if the people leading it are insulting me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 http://healthresearchfunding.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Statistics-to-Body-Images.jpg Body shaming, skinny or fat, is not good for self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You can't one hand say, that this has no affect on anyone or anything...and yet at the same time say it's one of the MAIN reasons (read any thread on LS) of why women "feel shamed" and dissatisfied with their bodies. .... But furthermore what this represents... .... she is a representation of a larger community of people, determined and driven to change the what society views as healthy and appropriate It's the fact that this is even acceptable, that makes it so unacceptable, when it is so medically wrong, .... I have to admit, you say it a lot more nicely than I do. This sort of stuff is dangerous. I don't care what's on the cover so much, it's the content of the linked article that is scary to me. I'm glad the model can find work, I'm glad she is happy, and I'm glad she has a personal trainer. It makes me happy that she's self sufficient, and seems to have a positive outlook. But when the author of the article starts glorifying the physique and lifestyle as a good thing, that's a line that should not be crossed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 http://healthresearchfunding.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Statistics-to-Body-Images.jpg Body shaming, skinny or fat, is not good for self esteem. Low self esteem won't clog your arteries, lead to diabetes, loss of limbs, kidney failure, blindness, heart disease, joint failure, and an early grave. "Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women" Most humans are thinner than Americans. It's not the rest of the worlds fault we are fat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I also find it odd when a larger woman posts things on facebook like "Men want curves, dogs like bones" or whatever that saying is. I am a skinny woman who supports body love for people of all sizes. It's sort of cute how the majority beating on the minority complain about being bullied. But what I wanted to comment on was this: It's great to have 'body love' I guess, whatever that is, as long as it's not about promoting something that's going to harm people. Being the size of that model (she is a woman significantly shorter and heavier than I have ever been, an *I* was afraid for my health) and holding that up as a good thing, something to be copied, is incredibly dangerous. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 It's sort of cute how the majority beating on the minority complain about being bullied. What do you mean by this? I don't really see how bullying someone back is supposed to fix anything, especially when not ALL people in the majority group are beating on the minority group in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 It's sort of cute how the majority beating on the minority complain about being bullied. But what I wanted to comment on was this: It's great to have 'body love' I guess, whatever that is, as long as it's not about promoting something that's going to harm people. Being the size of that model (she is a woman significantly shorter and heavier than I have ever been, an *I* was afraid for my health) and holding that up as a good thing, something to be copied, is incredibly dangerous. Talking out of both sides of your mouth again? If an overweight model like this Tess woman wants to promote self-esteem for overweight women to achieve their dreams and goals in life, she shouldn't be condemned for it. Then you talk about when you were overweight yet you lack empathy for others who are overweight. That tells me you have some real hang-ups about weight that I see you projecting in this thread. I don't think you respect women in general, whether or not they're normal weight, too thin, or overweight. You seem to be obsessed with comparing overweight women to whales, 123321. In this thread, you make the harpoon reference to the overweight model Tess. Then, in one of your previous threads, you posted this anecdote about your encounter with two overweight women in a pub in Wales. Wales I was in a pub the other night. Had a few brews when I noticed two rather large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?” One of them chirped: “It’s WALES you friggin’ idiot!” So, I immediately apologized and said…, “Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?” Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Low self esteem won't clog your arteries, lead to diabetes, loss of limbs, kidney failure, blindness, heart disease, joint failure, and an early grave. I agree totally - obesity WILL clog your arteries, lead to diabetes, loss of limbs, kidney failure, blindness, heart disease, joint failure, and an early grave. I just disagree that calling obese people "whales" or use other derogatory language to describe or make fun of them, is actually the best way to tackle the problem. Just seems a bit childish and cruel for a supposedly civilised society. Ever heard of comfort eating? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Not that I want to add any fuel to this cluster****, but.... Practically all of my friends are overweight, Guys don't react the same way women do about it if its brought up, as they aren't as sensitive and its done mostly in a joking fashion..As long as they are happy I don't have any problem with it... But because I am the lone one that likes to stay in shape, I constantly get my balls broken by these guys...Its nothing serious, but it does get annoying sometimes..Because I just don't give a shyt, it doesn't bother me....plus, I at least I know I can live my life in the healthiest way I see fit, which is all that matters at the end of the day... But, I think, in general people don't like others that have a more widely accepted attractive appearance...Its the same way heavy/unattractive women hate on attractive ones with great bodies, and fat guys break balls of guys that are in shape...For no reason other that how they look... TFY 4 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You seem to be obsessed with comparing overweight women to whales, 123321. In this thread, you make the harpoon reference to the overweight model Tess. Then, in one of your previous threads, you posted this anecdote about your encounter with two overweight women in a pub in Wales. So twice in over 6000 posts counts as an obsession for you? Fascinating. The quote you have there is a famous joke. Did I accidentally fail to mark it as a quote? Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Ever heard of comfort eating? I'd file that under "things not to do" but that's just a suggestion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Guys don't react the same way women do about it if its brought up, as they aren't as sensitive and its done mostly in a joking fashion.. There are reasons for this. I've never been more than 15 lbs overweight, but my family has been scrutinizing my body and commenting on my weight since I was 13 years old. Even just a few years ago, my mother asked me if I wanted liposuction ("I'll pay for it!") even though I was only a handful of pounds away from what my doctor called my ideal/target weight. And I don't know of any women in my personal life who HAVEN'T had similar experiences, including the skinny ones who got the concerned "you need a sandwich, dear"/"lol flat chest/bean pole/sack of bones" from everyone they met. When you have people shaming you and making you feel like sh-t about your body for years, starting at such an impressionable and vulnerable age, yeah, you get just a little sensitive about it. How many of your guy friends have had this sort of experience? Maybe if most women weren't subject to this kind of bullying and pressure for years and years, they'd be able to laugh off the beer gut jokes as easily as men do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 But, I think, in general people don't like others that have a more widely accepted attractive appearance...Its the same way heavy/unattractive women hate on attractive ones with great bodies, and fat guys break balls of guys that are in shape...For no reason other that how they look... TFY Actually, IME it's the other way round. I like to keep fit and healthy for myself and no-one else but have been approached by guys of all shapes, sizes and levels of fitness; didn't find being cold approached by random dudes any less annoying whether they were fit or not. But I know TONS of 'fit' people (men mostly) who take it as a personal offence when a heavier woman dares to make a pass at them, as if these guys' appearance alone makes them better people. I've seen it more times than I can stomach it, friends I thought were good guys being plain rude to women who approached them because they were on the heavy side. Instant turn-off as far as I'm concerned. Being fit and healthy doesn't make you a better person AT ALL. Being unfit / too skinny / too big / whatever doesn't make you a bad person AT ALL. We all have our cross to bear, sure you are attracted to whoever you're attracted to but making other people feel bad about themselves won't help anyone. Just my 0.02. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 my family has been scrutinizing my body and commenting on my weight since I was 13 years old Yeah, I've had so many experiences of this starting from when I was at least in early grade school - an adult male relative used to line the young girls up to comment on our bodies. My mother would constantly comment on the shape of my body. I could recount so many stories about having my body commented on - and I was slender - there wasn't a "problem," but I was definitely scrutinized for no reason I can understand. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Yeah, I've had so many experiences of this starting from when I was at least in early grade school - an adult male relative used to line the young girls up to comment on our bodies. My mother would constantly comment on the shape of my body. I could recount so many stories about having my body commented on - and I was slender - there wasn't a "problem," but I was definitely scrutinized for no reason I can understand. Mothers are exceptionally harsh to daughters with regard to weight....Id agree there....My mom did it like crazy to my sister..w TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Mothers are exceptionally harsh to daughters with regard to weight....Id agree there....My mom did it like crazy to my sister..w TFY I agree, although I luckily did not experience this with my own mother. She had other issues But why is it this so? Why are mothers so concerned about small amounts of weight gain on their daughters? I think it is out of fear, because the mothers know all too well how much society connects a woman's value to her body shape. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Comparing 9/11 and what, genocide (?) to a brief joke made at the expense of a celebrity who isn't even aware of it (and who has suffered no harm whatsoever) in an attempt to point out that the article that prompted the comment is promoting something that's potentially lethal .... If I direct an insult at you, that's shame on me. If you decide to feel bad about something that's not about you, that's up to you. While I'm sorry you feel bad, it's still all up to you. As my doctor told me (WRT the health risks of continuing to gain weight, ironically) "this is within your control". This is the thing, we act like we have no power over anything. That's how I was because in some ways I liked being there. I've had love/hate relationships with almost everything you can think of thats not real good for you. The truth sucks and it did for me. Deb you are an amazing person. I was in some deep thought concerning you and it was impressed upon me that you have great favor with the Lord... wow I wish this was in person because the power of this is taking me over. This is what I'm hearing- you want to dance, do it, go for it girl, whatever it takes as God is about to do a thing in your day that if I were to tell you, you would not believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Yeah, I've had so many experiences of this starting from when I was at least in early grade school - an adult male relative used to line the young girls up to comment on our bodies. My mother would constantly comment on the shape of my body. I could recount so many stories about having my body commented on - and I was slender - there wasn't a "problem," but I was definitely scrutinized for no reason I can understand. This sounds wrong... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Yeah, I've had so many experiences of this starting from when I was at least in early grade school - an adult male relative used to line the young girls up to comment on our bodies. Has anyone looked into what else uncle pervy is up to when he's not at family reunions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 123321 I don't believe you with the bravado you have in this thread. I don't think that you feel differently than many posters. Unfortunately, you do seem to like the attention. Vey, where the heck is rolls eyes? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 123321 I don't believe you with the bravado you have in this thread. I don't think that you feel differently than many posters. Unfortunately, you do seem to like the attention. Vey, where the heck is rolls eyes? The autistic part of me probably doesn't care much what people here think? This we all get a trophy and love yourself over all else, including in this case possibly literally DYING to love yourself, is just out of control. Being fat doesn't make us bad people, but telling OTHER people that being fat is a great life choice does make us bad people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You can't one hand say, that this has no affect on anyone or anything...and yet at the same time say it's one of the MAIN reasons (read any thread on LS) of why women "feel shamed" and dissatisfied with their bodies. Tess Holliday's photo does have an effect: a positive one. I know that's hard for men to understand. The truth is, no fit, healthy woman is looking at Jess and thinking, "I'd rather look like that. I'm going to stop my healthy lifestyle and gain 150 pounds." But the women who look more like Jess already may feel a little better about themselves, and that can lead to feeling more comfortable in work out clothes, more comfortable playing sports, more comfortable at the gym, and so on. There's a woman in my neighborhood who is built a lot like Jess. I've seen her on my walks and runs through the park for months. She wears her work out gear and her headphones, and she walks with purpose. She doesn't seem to be getting any thinner. She keeps at it. She's got nice leggings and tops and sneakers, so someone is making workout clothing in size 22, and someone is buying it! And sure, someone is modeling it. All good things. Comparing women to whales is not encouraging. It takes a very strong person (like Jess) to face that kind of criticism. She's taking the heat for all women her size, so that they can feel encouraged by her strength and example. Men may respond well to the nasty comments, but women generally do not. Women respond well to community and support. Generally speaking, of course. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Being over 50 isn't a lifestyle choice with negative health consequences. I think a lot of people have made the point already that this plus sized model on a magazine cover is highly unlikely to lead slim, fit women to say "that's exactly what I want to look like. I need to start disciplining myself to eat more ice cream." She might help women who are overweight think "she looks pretty and well groomed. Being overweight isn't an excuse for me to give up on my appearance..." Positive steps forward. A woman who starts to feel a bit better about herself is more likely to take steps to improve her overall health. An overweight woman is as entitled as anybody else to take an interest in her hair, make up and fashion. You might think "what's the point? Who's going to fancy her?" Well, aside from the fact that there are probably plenty of men out there who are quite partial to bigger women, so what? You would likely say much the same about the over 50 women. Doesn't mean they're going to give up on their appearance. Grooming is part of what a healthy animal does, whether or not it's attracting the opposite sex. Encouraging a very obese woman to take more of an interest in her clothes, hair and appearance might be the first step to her eventually deciding to work towards a healthier body. If a woman isn't very obese - if she's just, say, 10 to 15 pounds over the higher end of her ideal then the reality is that even if aesthetically she doesn't look at her best, in health terms she's probably not significantly worse off (if at all) than she would be if she dropped the excess weight. Body Mass Index, Diabetes, Hypertension, and Short-Term Mortality: A Population-Based Observational Study, 2000?2006 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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