sosad32 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 How long before its too late!! I have been with my BF for 7 years, and no marriage proposal, i have brougth up the subject a few times over the past couple of years, but first he says he's not sure if he wants to get married and then he tells me he does want to get married and have a family after I say I'm leaving... I feel like my feelings have died inside and not sure if I even want to marry this person anymore. He was my world for so many years and never could commit to me, now that I am ready to move on he "says" he wants to get married, but still no action.........? Has this situation happened to anyone or can anyone give me advice... Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Unfortunately, you may be at a point where you have to make a big decision. You have to decide if marriage is important enough to end this relationship if the reality is that you will not marry the man you're with now. For some people, marriage is an absolute, and that's certainly acceptable if that's how you feel, but while it may be an absolute for you it may not be for your current boyfriend. There are many factors that could come into play as to why he doesn't want to get married now. Has he stated why he's so reluctant to take the step forward? Money issues? Both still in school? Uncertain employment? Or it could be simply that he doesn't have any interest in getting married. It's possible that you'll have to accept his needs as well as your own. Are you willing to end the relationship for someone else if he doesn't want to get married? In my opinion, forcing someone to marry isn't the best approach - he either gets married willingly or you don't get married. What's your official opinion on the topic? Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I would leave and see how he reacts. Scare him a little and make him realize either ship in or ship out. If he truly loves you he will fight for you. If he doesn't fight for you then you'll know he no longer loves you. Men sometimes get a little to comfortable, make him feel he's losing you, trust me if he loves you he'll come around. Give him an ultimatum, that's the only way he'll snap out of it. You don't want to marry someone who's willing to throw it all away. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Advice from a male: get out of the relationship. NeverSayNever says men get comfortable... I agree that men tend to get comfortable in living-together situations (is that the case here?) Unfortunately, sometimes women get comfortable _after_ marriage, and I often find myself wishing I were still dating the woman and were not married to her. IMHO I don't think he loves you. I think he likes you a lot, and as you know, there's a world of difference. Being married will make you feel loved for maybe a week, if that... and then you'll feel like you do now. Empty. Unsure. If he did propose when you force the point, it would ALWAYS be a marriage that you think of as "he did it because he was forced to, not because he loved me." And you'd be RIGHT. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 A dear friend of mine went through a similar situation. She finally put her foot down and said I am moving out on X day if we don't get engaged AND set a wedding date (don't let him lull you into a false sense of security with just the engagement). If you are up to it, you could do that. It worked for her and 10 years later they are still very happy. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 I feel like my feelings have died inside ouch. 7 years is long enough to decide... for both of you. Just leave and don't look back. I'm very sorry, but he doesn't want to marry you. And even if you change his mind, ew, you'll always know you forced him. Link to post Share on other sites
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