Guy friend likes me, but doesn't want to date?

[ashley64taylor]

I've been friends with my guy friend for 8 months and we're in college on break. He found out that I liked him and he said my friend told him a while back. He said he couldn't date me back then because I had dated one of his friends. He told me that he doesn't know if he likes me in that way now.

 

The week after he found out, he told one of our mutual friends (Kaitlyn) that he doesn't know when he likes a girl and he needs advice. She told him if he doesn't try, he'll never know. She said she thinks that he's afraid to ruin the friendship and I may have to ask him out.

 

I went to go see him last week and he started complaining about my ex who was the reason why he couldn't date me. He said that my ex hates him now and when we went back to his house, he told me he wanted me to meet his parents. He leaned in my car to give me a hug and he brushed my cheek with his chin and I thought he gave me a kiss so I quickly leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He giggled, laughed, smiled, and said "Okay."

 

Another mutual friend of ours said that my guy friend told him recently that he kinda likes me, but he doesn't want to do anything because he doesn't want to hurt me and he doesn't want to screw over my ex. But why should that matter because he just told me last week that he wasn't friends with my ex anymore. Kaitlyn told me that he is not 100 percent about liking me and he is going to keep making up excuses on why he can't date. So he likes me, but not enough to date? I'm so confused.

 

Before all of this, he was majorly hinting that he wanted to date. He told me he only dates friends and that he's been looking at our group of friends and trying to see who he could date eventually. He even brought up the whole "say you and I date" scenario. He said with his last girlfriend, they were friends for two years before he asked her out. He said he shuts his feelings off and it takes him a while to figure out if he likes someone or not. So maybe he's scared of ruining the friendship? He told me to break up with my latest ex and the only reason I did was because I thought he wanted to date. But now he doesn't. Could it be that we're on break for summer and we live an hour away from each other? Or does he just not like me that much or what? He's the type of guy that flirts like tickles me, sits on me, lays on top of me, slaps my butt, play wrestles, pinches my boobs etc. I'm so confused and I've never felt this way about any guy before. We used to snapchat frequently but now that we're on break, we only snapchat about twice a week and he is usually the one to initiate the conversation. I'm thinking I should just ask him myself, but I really don't know if I can. So what should I do? Thank you for taking the time to read this. Sorry it's so long.

[preraph]

So he "kinda" likes you, BUT he doesn't want to hurt you. So I guess that means the way he kinda likes you isn't going to make you happy.

[Satu]

He's just not much into you.

[La.Primavera]

You want to be with a guy who is so indecisive he doesn't even know he likes you, and on top of that he manhandles your breasts and backside like you are a piece of meat. Seriously, he sounds like a loser.

 

What do I think you should do.. find someone else. I think you can do so much better than him.

[AGoodFriend]

He is interested, but he may be held back by the fact that your ex may have shared too many details about your relationship with this guy and other friends. So he may know too much for his own comfort. And because you guys are friends, he probably doesn't want to do anything with you that will make either of you feel awkward after and ruin the friendship.

 

Another angle is that he could enjoy messing with your head more than anything. If he told you to break up with your latest ex and you did, then he may believe that he has some level of control over you. He is teasing you in the worst possible way.

 

I think that it's a combination of the fact that you were with his (ex) friend and the fact that he likes messing with your head.

 

Like the other two posters said, you may want to get away from this guy, or at least set very clear boundaries that you are only going to be friends and stick with them.