cashman23 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I have an issue with a coworker that has me stumped. We are very close friends and have been for several years. We both work in retail, which is where we met. Although we are close, I would describe our relationship as platonic although I am the first to admit I have had feelings for her for a while now, but have never acted on it. I work as a cashier while she is a sales clerk. The other day the store hired a new woman and as is policy started her out as a cashier. It was my responsibility to train her. She is likely around 21 or so as she is a college student. She is majoring in history, which is what my degree is in. During our time working together, I found out we are both strongly interested in the Civil War. I should point out I am a good bit older than her. My coworker came to the cashier station and after she introduced herself to the new girl, I told her "she likes the Civil War" and "she doesn't get bored when I talk to her." I noticed a strange look on my friend's face as she walked away and she only muttered "maybe she was just being nice." I should also point out my friend and I don't talk about history together as she doesn't find it that interesting. We work in a two-story store and my friend got on the escalator. Normally, when she gets on she just faces forward and goes upstairs. This time, she made a point of standing sideways and looking directly at us until she noticed I was looking at her. The next morning we worked together. I didn't say a word about the new girl, but the first thing my coworker said to me was "maybe your Civil War friend will be here today" in a somewhat snarky tone. I didn't respond and we both went on our way. Later that afternoon, however, I was wondering why my friend was acting this way, so I decided to do a little experiment. I went to where she works and mentioned that I wished the new girl could have been there so we could continue to talk. In a serious tone my friend said "just don't obsess" which I thought was kind of weird. I told her that the girl was 21 to which my friend said "that's never stopped you before" (which is true). I finally said "that is the furthest thing from my mind" which is also true. After that, my friend tried to turn it around saying she was just making a joke. Today, I decided to do a little test. All three of us worked together, but the new girl was in a different department. When my friend came up to me, I made the comment that I wish the new girl wasn't in the place she was, because we couldn't talk. I noticed my coworker tense up briefly but then make a joke about it. My gut tells me my friend is jealous, but I can't figure out why. My first instinct, and the only thing that makes any sense, is that she has feelings for me, but I don't trust my judgment enough to say that conclusively. Is it possible I'm missing something here and if she is jealous it could be for another reason? I really need some help on this. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Oops wrong thread Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Wow, you're kind of being a dick. When you made the first "bored" crack, that obvs hurt your friend. Then you went on to do two "experiments" where you hurt her again. Twice. Your friend's probably jealous, yeah, but it doesn't automatically mean romance. Friends form bonds too, and if they get the sense they're being dismissed or replaced, that can cause hurt. It doesn't sound like this was a big deal initially until you started being thoughtless and then followed that up with more thoughtlessness. Seems like she was ok at first and she was friendly. Stop being a dick. Also apologize. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Don't play games with people's feelings, it will always backfire on you in the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Of course she's jealous. You used to give her all your attention and now you are shifting your attention onto someone else. Being jealous doesn't always mean underlying romantic interest. Sometimes it's just territorial. Girls are naturally attention whores, and when you take that away, they get upset. Grow a set and ask your friend out on a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I don't know what you are trying to prove but you sounds immature and want to see what could happen between the 2 women. Anyway, basically what you told you friend is "she is better than you " and it should hurt her. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Yeah don't be a dick... She could just be teasing you though, send some flirting action her way too, don't hone in on this girl! Otherwise you'll drive both of them away. Men and Women being friends can be very fickle... Sometimes you have to tread the friendly/flirting line pretty close. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 i also think you are playing with her...and not in a nice way.....maybe you should try honesty instead of playing games..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 You're a "good bit" older than 21 and you act like that? Your friend probably is a bit jealous. She just doesn't want to share her friend at work. However it doesn't sound like she's being malicious. You should probably stop d!cking around with your friend's feelings like she's a science experiment and stop worrying about whether she's jealous or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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