billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I've posted about this roommate/bridesmaid I've got to deal with before. She lives with myself and my fiancee (because I sold my place and moved in with them). She's an overweight, needy, can never be alone, total basketcase of a 30 yo woman. She's a preschool teacher and a total slut. In the past year she's slept with no fewer than 8 guys, and she had a boyfriend for 6 of those months, so that's quite an accomplishment in my book. And that's just the dudes I know about. Some of the stories are quite shocking to me, and I've been around the block quite a few times. The latest episode was unreal: She gets dumped by her bf of 6 months two weeks ago. She tried to play it off like it didn't bother her. Then she goes out to a bachelorette party with some of her friends that myself and my fiancee don't know too well. I was out of town, but came back at like 1am. Anyway, my fiancee gets home and tells me that this roommate/bridesmaid of ours met some 21 year old dude at the bar, was going to bring him to our house, but my fiancee wouldn't let her, so she dropped them off at a hotel. I was sort of, "I'm glad you didn't bring this dude to our house because I would've probably been pissed." Actually, I would've been totally pissed, but whatever. Well, the roommate of ours admits to only a handjob, but I doubt it. She's banged a guy in a hotel bathroom about 10 mos ago while her two friends were out in the room trying to sleep. Well, this weekend, she gets set up with some other dude. We were all planning to go to see this local band's last gig (sort of a going away show b/c all the band members are going their separate ways). This guy shows up at our house and he's totally not what anyone expected. He didn't really fit in so to speak. Hard to explain, but whatever. Anyway, we go out and we're at the bar no more than an hour and she's totally making out with this guy (and get this) right in front of her exboyfriend. Her Ex was there the whole time and well, you get the picture. So roommate and this new random dude she got set up with that day leave the bar. My fiancee and I instruct her that we don't know this guy, we don't really want him in our house spending the night with her while she's the only one there and while she's wasted. The real reason - I have six grand in cash and a bunch of other "stuff" in a file cabinet in the living room, and I didn't really feel comfy with this roommate having some strange dude over while she's wasted, etc, but roomie doesn't know about that, and I'm not about to tell her. So, we pull in at like 1am, and sure enough, new guy's pickup is parked out front and her b.r. light is on. I was sort of pist, but I just checked to make sure everything was in order and went to sleep. My query - what the hell do I do about this situation? I really don't like this chick. She's everything I hate in a woman. She's going to be IN my wedding, and I have to LIVE with her until September. Oh, and she's a teacher, so she has the whole summer off to piss me off. Maybe I can convince her to move in with this new dude. Who knows. This is pretty much just a rant. I HATE HATE HATE her. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I've posted about this roommate/bridesmaid I've got to deal with before. She lives with myself and my fiancee (because I sold my place and moved in with them). Correction - She was nice enough to agree to let you move in to HER place. I was sort of, "I'm glad you didn't bring this dude to our house because I would've probably been pissed." Actually, I would've been totally pissed, but whatever. She has every right to bring whomever she wants back to HER place. It is not your place. Your name is not on the lease. It was your idea to sell your place. Your attitude is all wrong. I know a lot of people who would not want to let their roomate's boyfriend/girlfriend stay with them - so just remember that she is doing you a favour. If you don't like it - MOVE. My fiancee and I instruct her that we don't know this guy, we don't really want him in our house spending the night with her while she's the only one there and while she's wasted. The real reason - I have six grand in cash and a bunch of other "stuff" in a file cabinet in the living room, and I didn't really feel comfy with this roommate having some strange dude over while she's wasted, etc, but roomie doesn't know about that, and I'm not about to tell her. How dare you INSTRUCT someone what they can and can't do in their own house. Your fiance can as it is her place, but you have no right. Once again, it is not YOUR and YOUR fiance's house. It is your fiance's and this woman who you are spending way too much time watching what she does. And by the way, there is such a thing as a bank. Use it. What is your obsession with how many people she sleeps with? It is none of your business. What do you do about the situation? Move out. Get your fiance to move out. Until you do that, keep you nose out of her roomate's business. Also, try being just a little respectful of someone who allows you to stay in HER house. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I'd move out, but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 Correction - It's my fiancee's place. My fiancee bought this house two years ago. By mutual agreement after our engagement I sold my house and am now paying half the mortgage. Roommate pays US rent. Fiancee AND myself addressed these concerns with roommate, and she just doesn't get it. I'm obsessed with how many dudes she sleeps with because what happens when fiancee and I are out of town next weekend and she decides to bring home a bunch of randoms? I guess I wasn't clear enough in that this was my fiancee's house before this woman moved in. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Is this psycho gonna be living with you guys after you get married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 No. She's "in the process" of finding her own place. Given that she'll be temporarily unemployed during the summer, the timetable is presently Labor Day. We're getting married late September. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Why do I suspect she isn't looking very diligently? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 "In the process" sounds bureaucratic, like something the government would say. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 i'm with west here i don't think she is looking Link to post Share on other sites
Author billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 Because she's not. This exbf of hers has a nice place, and I'm thinking she was looking for the green light to shack up with him, but he pulled that rug out from under her. I think she's waiting to get an invite from any one of her four married friends to let her move in to their house. It's totally bizarre - she's friends with like 4 women, all of whom are married with kids, and she'll from time to time (at least weekly) randomly pack an overnight bag and go stay at any one of their houses. Personally, I think that's weird. The only reason I have for staying at my buddies' marital homes is if I'm in from out of town or something...Her various friends live just across town, and she just goes over there for random sleepovers. I don't get it. I asked my fiancee if it was because I'm living there now, and she informed me that, no, she's been doing that the whole time she's lived there. I dunno. Four months to go I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Good luck. Hope your nerve doesn't give out this summer. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Correction - It's my fiancee's place. My fiancee bought this house two years ago. By mutual agreement after our engagement I sold my house and am now paying half the mortgage. Roommate pays US rent. Fiancee AND myself addressed these concerns with roommate, and she just doesn't get it. No, you weren't clear in this. Still though, if she is paying RENT what she does or doesn't do with god knows how many men is her business not yours. I'm obsessed with how many dudes she sleeps with because what happens when fiancee and I are out of town next weekend and she decides to bring home a bunch of randoms? I'm assuming the only thing that will happen is that she gets some action. If you're talking about your money you have hidden in the living room - use a bank. Once again, it is very odd that you are so obsessed with the people she bangs. Why? I'm thinking there is more to the story. It is not normal for a man in love to be so obsessed with what another woman does. Yes, she is your fiance's friend and in your wedding but her love life is none of your business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 Thanks for the input, Deb. She can bang all she wants. I just have a lot of nice $hit in that house, and I don't feel like worrying about who's bringing her home three sheets to the wind when I'm out of town with my fiancee. It really wouldn't be that hard for one of her randoms, while she's blackout drunk, to walk out of our house with some of my stuff. I don't think I should have to worry about whether or not my iPod, Palm Pilot, laptop, money, watch, whatever, will end up getting lifted by some creepy random. That, in my opinion, shows a total lack of judgment that has a direct impact upon the security of MY home and MY personal property. If she wants to f**k every Tom, Dick and Harry in town, so be it, but when that has the propensity to adversely affect my property rights, I have every reason (and right) to be pist. Also, my Saturday morning newspaper and coffee is somewhat more awkward when there's some random hungover dude staggering out of her room in his underwear and helping himself to a Tylenol. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 You've posted before about 'control' issues. I think this is one of those cases where you want to try to control someone but trying to couch it on worried about your personal possessions. If you re-read your first post the mention of your valuables is in an aside and not the purpose of your post. Your post is about her being a slut. If you really are worried, what is to stop you from getting a lock on your bedroom door? If you are planning on being away for a while and are worried, keep your ipod, palm pilot, laptop and watch in your bedroom. Also, my Saturday morning newspaper and coffee is somewhat more awkward when there's some random hungover dude staggering out of her room in his underwear and helping himself to a Tylenol. I have to say, your roomate might be a slut, but I think you're acting like a bossy, petulant child. For your own sanity and your fiance's friendship, I recommend you either get her to move out or you move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 It's totally bizarre - she's friends with like 4 women, all of whom are married with kids, and she'll from time to time (at least weekly) randomly pack an overnight bag and go stay at any one of their houses. Personally, I think that's weird. The only reason I have for staying at my buddies' marital homes is if I'm in from out of town or something...Her various friends live just across town, and she just goes over there for random sleepovers. I don't get it. I asked my fiancee if it was because I'm living there now, and she informed me that, no, she's been doing that the whole time she's lived there. Why do you care??? You don't need to get it. Stop focusing on what this woman does with her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 Deb, what exactly is your beef with me? Let me know when you climb down from your ivory tower. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 What does your fianceé think of all this? If she doesn't care, then you're screwed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author billybadass36 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 She doesn't like it either...or at least she tells me she doesn't. Before roomie left the bar Fri night, she was like, "Friend here isn't staying the night...if you like him he's not staying the night..." Whatever. I guess I don't care anymore. I'm going to pretend like I never started this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Deb, what exactly is your beef with me? Let me know when you climb down from your ivory tower. I don't have a beef with you. I just happen to disagree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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